


Touch me, love me, leave me

by BakaDoll



Series: Soldier!Andrew verse [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alcohol, Also Kevin is very protective of Neil, Alternate Universe - Army, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, And Andrew for him lbr, Army, Blow Jobs, But they're just being not-straight bffs, Confessions, Drug Use, Falling In Love, Fluff, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Hangover, Kevin and Neil are kinda gay together, Long-Distance Relationship, Longing, M/M, Neil is thirsty AF for Andrew, Past Abuse, Pining, Porn With Plot, Smut, Sorry no Kevineil here, forced room-sharing, getting caught making out, long make-out sessions, mention of phone sex/sexting and sending each other dirty pictures, soldier!Andrew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 11:36:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 43,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13480674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BakaDoll/pseuds/BakaDoll
Summary: No one ever told Neil there was a second Minyard who was a soldier for the U.S. Army, and suddenly he was stuck with him in his dorm during Thanksgiving holidays.But sometimes first expressions can be wrong, and what Neil expected to be the worst week of his year might turn out completely different than anticipated.





	Touch me, love me, leave me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marmeladeskies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marmeladeskies/gifts).



> Right.  
> Listen.  
> This fic came from an idea I had in, what, October? When I was sick and couldn't go to work and decided I might as well use the day and write a little ficlet based on this headcanon I had. Just 1.2, maybe 1.5k.
> 
> LET ME TELL YOU, IT DID NOT WORK OUT.
> 
> So as this fic grew, I decided I'll finish it as a birthday present for my wonderful friend [marmelade-sky](http://marmelade-sky.tumblr.com/), but then her birthday rolled by and this fic just didn't want to be finished???? It's almost one week late now. I challenged myself to write 1k each day on Dec 8th and actually did it. I still didn't finish on time. My fingers are hurting. My brain is mush. I hate my life and questioned every single choice I ever made in my life that lead me to this point.  
> But I finally finished the fic - so there's that!
> 
> I wanna wish marmelade-sky happy birthday again, even though it's a bit late, I hope you like your present, I love you and I hope you will be the most happy you can be in your life <3 Head over to her blog for quality content and amazing writing (she's an author, too, so chop chop!)
> 
> Oh yeah, also: I'm a German living in London, so let me apologise in advance. I tried to keep the spelling/phrases as americanized as I could, but I probably failed miserably.

When the judge’s gavel hit the desk, Nicky cried. Aaron looked distressed, but at the same time relieved. Even Luther and Maria were here. Luther looked disapproving, the same way he always looked when he lay eyes upon his son or his nephews, and Maria clutched the cross hanging off her necklace and pressed the fist to her chest. She was probably praying to Jesus or God or Buddha, or whoever it was these people prayed to.

Andrew let his gaze wander over them, one by one, for just a minute, before he redirected his disinterested stare back at the judge. They were all feeling too much for his taste. Andrew didn’t feel much at all anymore these days - that’s why he prefered looking at the judge. He was an old man, only a couple years between him and his retirement, and he looked at Andrew stern and disapproving, but without any remorse or pity. He was much safer to look at than these people, who were feeling so much for Andrew’s sake - a misguided sentiment that helped no one.

 

“This is the verdict, then. One year of juvenile detention, followed by at least three years of service in the U.S. Army. Both is accompanied by intensive psychological therapy, with at least one session a week. Let’s hope the Army can put some discipline in you, son.”

 

Andrew huffed in response. If that was what it took to not be drugged up against his will again, he would take it. He had had enough of that after his time with Drake.

He knew better than that, but at the thought of his almost-brother, Andrew couldn’t stop himself from letting his eyes roam over the spectators again. Apart from his so-called family they were only nameless people whose faces he wouldn’t forget any time soon, but meant nothing at all to him. He refused to acknowledge the sting in his chest when, for the third time today, he realised Cass was nowhere between them.

He forced his attention back on the judge. The old man said something, something about second chances and finding your way back onto the right track, but Andrew couldn’t make himself listen.

 

***

 

Neil Abram Josten was a real person. Neil had to remind himself of that regularly.

With her last dying breath, Mary Wesninski had called her brother Stuart Hatford and asked him to watch out for her son Nathaniel.

Nathaniel hadn’t even known what they were running from. He had assumed it was just his father, the Butcher himself was reason enough to run after all. But apparently it had been so much more than that.

After that call, Stuart had made his way over to the US. His initial plans had been to fly Nathaniel to the UK, but Nathaniel had nothing but bad memories of Europe and didn’t want to set foot into the Hatford’s territory any more than into the Butcher’s. He had refused to leave Millport, scared to run into anyone who might be looking for him and still in shock about his mother’s death. So instead, Stuart came to Millport, checked in on Nathaniel and then went on to deal with whatever business it was, that had Mary and Nathaniel Wesninski on the run for the past nine years.

Neil knew better than to ask the hows and whys when Stuart came back weeks later, a new passport in his hands - a real one, this time - with the name ‘Neil Abram Josten’ on it, and the news of Nathan Wesninski’s death.

 

It was the first time in years Neil cried. But for once he cried of relieve.

 

Only a few weeks later, David Wymack appeared at Millport High, a contract promising Neil Josten a scholarship at Palmetto State University and a place on the PSU Foxes’ roster in hand.

Initially, Neil refused. He couldn’t play with Kevin Day. He wasn’t running anymore, but Kevin was a reminder of all that time he spent scared and running. He couldn’t see him again.

Except he did, just five minutes later, when he tried to outrun Wymack and ran straight into Kevin, who was waiting for him in the locker room.

He stepped in Neil’s way and started to talk, probably trying to make him sign the contract, but the words died in his throat when he looked, really looked in Neil’s face. Recognition and pure _fear_ spread on Kevin’s face and he grabbed Neil’s chin.

 

“No,” he said, voice raw, “No, that’s not possible. You’re not Neil Josten. You looked different on the pictures your coach sent us. What happened to Neil Josten? What are _you_ doing here?”

 

“I am Neil Josten,” Neil replied and tried to pry his face from Kevin’s grip, but he wouldn’t let him, so Neil surrendered.

 

“No, you’re not,” Kevin said and turned Neil’s face to look at it from different angles, as if that would change anything about what was in front of Kevin, “You’re not Neil Josten. You’re Nath-”

 

“Don’t.” Neil said, a clear warning in the tone of his voice, and Kevin snapped his mouth shut. “Don’t call me that. That’s not me. Not anymore. That hasn’t been me in nine years. I was Chris and Stefan and Alex. And now I am Neil. But I am not _him_.”

Neil didn’t know if by saying _him_ he meant Nathaniel or Nathan, but Kevin seemed to understand. Slowly, he let go of Neil’s chin and stared at him intently.

 

Neil ended up signing the contract.

 

To this day, he didn’t know why he did it, but now he knew it was the best decision he ever made.

In the coming weeks he told Kevin his story, all of it, not at once, but in small pieces, and Kevin would take whatever explanation Neil offered. They stuck together most of the time, clinging to the only other person at least halfway understanding the struggles they went through and building a deep friendship through their mutual understanding, so Neil ended up with the so-called “Monsters” a lot. The Monsters were Kevin, as well as Aaron Minyard and Nicky Hemmick, cousins who looked nothing like each other, and who couldn’t be more different personality-wise either. Why Kevin stuck with them Neil didn’t know, but then again his other option were the upperclassmen. Neil got along with them just fine, with most of them at least, but Kevin was nothing like his smiling publicity-persona in real life and didn’t even try to play nice with them. To be fair, he didn’t play nice with anyone, not even Neil. Oh, and then there were the Williams sisters of course. Nancy and Rita Williams joined the Foxes a couple of months before Neil, at the start of the season, but they weren't really Foxes. They were good players, Neil had to give them that, Nancy was a skilled goalie and Rita a fantastic backliner, but their social skills were below average. And coming from Neil, that meant a lot.

They stuck to each other and avoided the rest of the team outside practice and games. Even Renee said to just leave them to themselves.

The Foxes were a mess and the laughing stock of Class I Exy. It was frustrating and Neil regretted signing with them - until Seth overdosed. Neil was used to death and didn’t feel much at the news of Seth’s death, but even he felt bad when for the first time, the thought that it was good for the team crossed his mind. But after Seth’s death, the foxes slowly started to pull themselves together with the biggest troublemaker off the field, so he couldn’t help it.

It was a thing of beauty to watch and be part the Foxes discovering their true potential. They fought nail and tooth, but they made it further into the championships than ever before.

 

Neil just came back from his last class before the Thanksgiving holiday, when he saw Aaron standing in the middle of the hall in front of the three dorm rooms occupied by the Foxes. Except Aaron looked weird and somehow… not like Aaron. He wore the long hair of his undercut in a bun - a look Neil had never seen on him before - and his usual, bored expression looked empty and apathetic instead. To top the weird look off, he was wearing a full U.S. Army uniform, complete with combat boots and a patch on his chest that read “MINYARD”.  
Despite his survival instincts flaring up and yelling “Danger” at him, Neil made his way over, slowly, and raised one eyebrow.  
  
“It’s a bit late for a Halloween costume this year, Aaron.”

 

Aaron turned his head to look at Neil and looked him up from head to toe with an unimpressed stare. Neil expected a venomous response or at least a casual insult thrown at him, but - nothing. Aaron seemed content to just stare him down. It made Neil’s skin crawl after only a couple of seconds and he shifted on his feet. His soles squeaked against the floor and sounded unnaturally loud in the uncomfortable silence. Eventually the ding of the elevator announcing that someone else was coming broke through it and Neil peeled his eyes off Aaron to look over at Nicky and…

 

Aaron?

 

Neil’s eyes darted back to Aaron - or who Neil had thought to be Aaron and who had spared the cousins just a quick glance, before he trained his eyes back onto Neil - then to Aaron and Nicky again and finally back to whoever this guy was.

 

Softly, Neil said to himself: “What the fuck?”

 

“Andrew!” Nicky all but shouted, and somehow managed to look excited and scared at the same time. “Oh my God, I didn’t know you were visiting!?”

Nicky and Aaron made their way over, and as soon as he was close enough, Nicky threw his arm around Neil’s shoulders.

“I see you’ve met Neil already.”

 

“Nicky, what the fuck,” Neil urged immediately.

 

Nicky just looked at him questioningly. It was Aaron who finally shed some light on this whole mess of a situation.

 

“This is Andrew. My twin brother.”

 

Neil stared at Aaron, as though he just told him Santa was real.

“Your twin brother.” He repeated, and Aaron nodded. “You have a twin brother.”

 

“No. A clone,” it was the first time Aaron’s brother Andrew said anything, and Neil whipped his head around immediately to look back at him. Despite the clear sarcasm in his statement, Andrew’s voice sent a shiver down Neil’s spine that he refused to acknowledge. It was a touch deeper than Aaron’s, but audibly rougher. Neil assumed this was a result of Andrew’s habit of smoking, if the pack of cigarettes peeking out from his pants’ pockets was anything to go by.

 

“Anyway,” Andrew said with a sigh that sounded like he thought he was completely wasting his time, “I’m here. Apparently we’re expected to spend Thanksgiving with our family and I suppose that means I have to spend the next week with you.” Andrew took the pack from his pocket, plucked a cigarette out and pushed it between his lips without looking at any of them, then turned towards the elevator.

Nicky and Aaron exchanged a startled look, they clearly hadn’t been anticipating this visit. It would be amusing to watch, if it wasn’t for what followed.

 

“Wait, you mean you’re staying? Here?” Aaron asked carefully.

 

“Yes.” Andrew pushed the button for the elevator and then stared straight ahead at the metallic doors.

 

“So, uh,” Nicky laughed nervously and threw Aaron another glance, “Where are you staying then? Did you find a nice hotel in the area?”

 

“Oh, no, no, no,” this time Andrew turned around, wagging his finger, “I talked to your coach. Seems like there’s a lot of room in your dorms during the holidays, he said it would be no problem if I stayed here.”

Aaron, Nicky and Neil were stunned into silence, while Andrew just hummed quietly and watched them.

 

“But, uh, there’s no room, neither Aaron nor me go anywhere and Kevin stays, too,” Nicky said eventually.

“Oh Nicky,” Andrew sighed, shaking his head, “Who said I’m going to stay in _your_ room?” His gaze wandered to Neil. He felt all of his muscles stiffen under Andrew’s stare - even more so, when he realised, what it meant.

“Wait, what? Are you saying- You mean Coach said you could stay with me?”

 

In lieu of an answer, Andrew just looked Neil up from head to toe again and scrunched his nose up in distaste for a second. “You better not be a problem.”

The elevator dinged again and opened its doors for Andrew. He went inside and pushed the button for the ground-floor and didn’t turn around again to look at any of them before the doors closed.

 

Neil stared after him in shock, before turning to look at the cousins.

“He’s not serious, right?” But Nicky’s apologising grin wasn’t very uplifting.

 

“I’m sorry, Neil,” he said, “Just… Try to stay out of Andrew’s way, alright? He’s, uh… He’s better, since he joined the army. You should be alright as long as you don’t bother him.”

Neil didn’t know what _better_ meant, because he didn’t know what Andrew was like before joining the army - until twenty minutes ago he didn’t even have a clue Aaron had a twin brother. But this short encounter had been unpleasant enough, and Neil wasn’t looking forward to a whole week of this.

 

***

 

Neil just went to his room to put his books away and then left the dorm again to meet the upperclassmen for lunch.

Apparently he had been the only one who didn’t know Aaron had a twin, and they all had met Andrew at least once before. And no one had anything nice to say about him - except for Renee, but that didn’t surprise Neil. The only person Renee had nothing nice to say about was Riko Moriyama.

 

They all went back to the dorm together after lunch and most of the upperclassmen went to pack their bags for their holidays. Allison was invited to spend Thanksgiving with Renee and Stephanie and they’d catch the first flight tomorrow morning. Matt would go see his mother and would take a flight tonight. Dan would meet her stage sisters tomorrow, but for Thanksgiving she would join Matt and his Mom for the first time. Even Nancy and Rita would be with their parents - not that it would make any difference whether they were there or not. The Monsters on the other hand would spend Thanksgiving at Abby’s again - apparently with the addition of Andrew. Neil was reminded of that, when him and Matt entered their dorm and the first thing they saw was Andrew, sitting on a desk by the window - Neil’s desk - and smoking.

 

“You know, there’s smoke detectors in these rooms,” Matt said. Andrew looked at Matt, then at the coffee table in the middle of the room, where a disassembled smoke detector lay.

Matt sighed, shook his head and went into the bedroom to grab his bag and pack everything he needed.

Neil stayed on his spot and watched Andrew smoke. If it wasn’t for his hair that was still tied up in a bun, Andrew would look even more like Aaron now. He shed the uniform at some point and wore an all black ensemble of jeans and a long-sleeved turtleneck. The only thing that stayed the same were his black combat boots.

Andrew finished smoking his cigarette and threw it out the window before he faced Neil, jumped off the desk and spoke again.

 

“Problem?”

 

For a second Neil forgot how words worked and his mouth went dry.

 

Now that Andrew was facing him properly, Neil could see a clear difference between the twins again. Other than his uniform, the turtleneck Andrew wore was a tight fit. The cotton hugged his broad chest and shoulders and pronounced his thick arms and waist. Aaron was fit, that just came with being an athlete, but Andrew looked like he could wrestle any of them down without breaking a sweat - despite his height.

 

“Problem?” Andrew prompted again, a hint of impatience in his voice this time. It shook Neil from his thoughts and he cleared his throat.

 

“No,” he said, looking away.

 

“Good,” Andrew went past him to the couch and left Neil staring out the window for a couple of seconds. When he turned around, he found Andrew sitting there and putting the smoke detector back together. Neil decided he needed a drink.

He pulled a Soda from the fridge and drank it in the kitchen, sitting on the counter. From here he could see how Andrew climbed onto the coffee table and stretched as far as possible to put the smoke detector back on the ceiling. Neil thanked a God he didn’t believe in for the view.

The second this thought crossed his mind he shook his head and crushed the empty can in his hand. What was wrong with him, all of a sudden? Fine, Andrew did look good. And Neil had known for a while that he didn’t really care about someone’s gender when it came to finding someone attractive. But Matt looked good too. Or Allison. Hell, even Nicky had a pretty face. But neither of them had ever triggered these thoughts in him.

 

He didn’t get the chance to think longer about his, because his attention went back to the living room, when he heard Matt talk.

 

“Did you put that up again?” Matt was looking at the smoke detector incredulously, but he wasn’t talking loud enough to possibly be talking to Neil.

 

“Yes,” was Andrew’s bored response from the sofa.

 

Matt looked at him, then looked around to find Neil. He seemed to seek confirmation or denial, so Neil gave him a short nod. Apparently that confused Matt even more.

“Right.” He said eventually, spared Andrew just another quick glance that was ignored completely, before Matt shouldered his bag and headed for the kitchen.  
“I’m off now, bro, gotta catch my flight,” he said and hugged Neil with his big, friendly smile. Neil let the hug linger, but he felt nothing more than the warm excitement a hug or a smile or a kiss to his cheek or forehead from his friends always caused.

 

“You sure you wanna stay here? Ma could always book another ticket for you…”

Neil smiled at the offer, but shook his head. He knew how excited Matt and Dan had been to celebrate their first Thanksgiving together and he didn’t want to interrupt.

“I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry.”

 

Matt left a few minutes later and Neil was alone with Andrew again. He looked at his teammate’s twin, but Andrew seemed content to completely ignore Neil in return.

 

“So--” Neil attempted, but was immediately cut off.

 

“No.”

 

“No, what?”

 

Andrew let his lazy stare wander from his phone to Neil.

“I don’t do smalltalk. Go and annoy one of your teammates. Not me.”

Neil frowned, but then huffed and left Andrew alone. He went into the bedroom and decided to go for a run, so he changed into his running gear. Despite it being late in the year it was still warm outside, so Neil settled on his favourite pair of shorts and a simple shirt.

Neil saw Andrew look up from his phone and give him a weird look when he came back out of the bedroom, but he didn’t ask about it. Instead he went to the door to slip into his shoes and bent down to tie them. When he turned around again to grab his keys he caught Andrew staring at him intently.

 

“What?”

 

But instead of actually giving him an answer, Andrew just grunted and lay back down on the sofa. Neil decided it wasn’t worth getting annoyed about, so instead he rolled his eyes, plugged his earphones into his phone and left Andrew behind.

 

Neil ran his favourite route down Perimeter Road and past the shops, watching the students do some last-minute shopping before most of them would go home for the holidays.

For a second he thought about throwing his plans of spending Thanksgiving with the monsters, Wymack and Abby out of the window and call Stuart up to see if his uncle would be up for a spontaneous family holiday.

Not that they were very... family oriented. Stuart had taken Neil in after Mary's death and provided him with everything he could need, but he was busy most of the time, with whatever business he had to manage in the UK or with the Moriyamas, and Neil tried to keep out of that as much as he possibly could.

However, they did try to meet up every once in a while, and do some things _normal_ families would do. Apparently Neil needed some normality in his life, between all the mob wars and athlete-life scandals - at least that was what Stuart said.

 

He rejected the plan quickly, though. Stuart was in London at the moment, and Neil still didn't have much of a desire to go back to England, or Europe in general, any time soon.

Before he noticed, Neil's feet had carried him all the way down his usual route and halfway around foxtower. He slowed down to a walk to cool down, but his routine took an unexpected turn when he spotted Andrew, sitting in the grass between a few trees, with his back to Neil. It had taken him a second - again - to realise it was Andrew and not Aaron. It would probably be a while until Neil had fully processed that there were two Minyards, but Neil knew Aaron was supposed to be having lunch with Katelyn right about now, so it had to be the more unpleasant one of the twins. Not that Neil was overly fond of Aaron. It was just that Aaron didn’t invite himself to Neil’s dorm, just to act like a complete dickhead. Well, most of the time he didn’t.

Andrew didn't see him because he sat with his back to Neil, but Neil didn't think he'd care much either way.

There was no reason for Neil to linger or go over and he was just about to go and leave Andrew to himself, when he saw something ginger and furry basically curl itself around Andrew’s waist.

 

That was Mrs. Cat-titude. What a traitor.

 

Mrs. Cat-titude was a stray cat that lived around campus. She had meowed at Neil until he shared his sandwich with her one day, and from that day on he regularly fed her, along with a couple of other stray cats that had appeared over time. When he had a bad day he’d just sit with them, let them get their hair all over him and listen to them purr. It calmed him down.

 

“Jennyfur? You too?” Neil gasped, betrayal in his voice, and put his hand to his chest when he saw another cat climbing off Andrew’s lap. A second later surprise took over. Usually the cats were very shy towards strangers, so seeing them be so comfortable around Andrew was as unexpected as it was intriguing. He decided to go over and investigate.

  


“You like cats?”

 

Andrew jumped at the unexpected sound of his voice and looked at him accusingly. He didn’t answer the question though.

Neil squatted down next to Andrew and let his fingers slide through Mrs. Cat-titude’s long fur when she came over, meowing loudly, and demanded to be petted.

“This is Mrs Cat-titude. She’s a diva. And a traitor, as it seems.”

 

“Mrs. Cat-titude.”

 

“And this is Jennyfur,” Neil pointed at the cat in Andrew’s lap. Andrew’s face didn’t change, but somehow he still looked like he thought Neil was a complete idiot.

 

“Jennyfur.”

 

“And this is Mr. Lickers - he always licks your hand when you pet him. And over there is Octopuss.”

 

“Oh my God. Please stop.”

 

Neil didn’t pay the exasperated look Andrew gave him any mind and just grinned at him in amusement.

“I am hurt. You don’t seem to appreciate my puns.”

 

“These might be the worst puns I have ever heard - and I am related to Nicky, I’ve heard a lot of bad puns,” Andrew deadpanned.

 

“Did you just tell me my puns are worse than Nicky’s?”

 

“I did.”

 

“Okay, wow. First of all: rude.” In an attempt to get more petting Mrs. Cat-titude pushed against Neil’s legs hard enough to get him off balance, so he just let himself fall back onto his bum and let the cat climb into his lap.

 

“So...” Neil began and looked at Andrew. When he wasn't cut off like just an hour ago, Neil took it as an invitation to keep talking. “...you didn’t answer my question. You like cats?”

 

“They’re okay,” Andrew said and shrugged.

 

“Are those cat treats?” Neil pointed at the little, opened bag in front of Andrews feet. An annoyed frown appeared on Andrew’s face in response.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“You do like cats.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Why won’t you just admit you like cats?”

 

“Why won’t _you_ stop asking questions?” Andrew directed a seemingly bored gaze at Neil, but he could see a hint of annoyance shimmer through.

Neil shrugged and dug his fingers back into the thick fur of the cat in his lap.

“If I have to share the dorm with you for the coming week, I wanna know a thing or two about you.”

 

“I’m sure your friends had enough to say about me.” From everyone else this would sound hurt or accusing, but from Andrew it sounded genuinely unmoved, almost bored. As if he couldn’t care less what the Foxes had to say about him. Neil believed him that he really didn’t.

 

“Actually they had literally nothing to say about you until today. I didn’t even know you existed, as you should know from our first encounter.” Andrew just stared at him. After a couple of seconds of silence, Neil realised he didn’t have anything to say to this and continued. “They told me a few things after that. But I like to get information first-hand.”

 

Andrew made an amused sound at that and tipped his head from one side to the other, pondering whether he’d humour Neil or not. Something made him decide in Neil’s favour.

  
“What did they tell you then?”

 

“That you went to juvie for a year, after almost killing four men.” Neil looked at Andrew, but he didn’t react at all to that accusation. If anything, he looked bored again. “They said you did it because those men assaulted Nicky for being gay. And they told me that the judge made you join the army, as a way for you to learn to get a hold of your violent outbursts.” There was another minute of silence as Neil tried to remember all the other things the upperclassmen had told him about Andrew and Andrew didn’t confirm nor deny any of the allegations already made. He seemed very content with staring Neil down while he thought.

“They also said you don’t like anyone but Nicky, Aaron and Kevin. Actually you don’t even like _them_ , you just mind them the least. Renee tried to remind us regularly that we don’t know your reasons, but the others didn’t really seem to care about your reasons all that much. And then they advised me to keep away from you as far as possible. Which isn’t that far, considering you will sleep in the bed opposite from me.”

When he was done, Neil turned to look at Andrew instead of Mrs. Cat-titude. Andrew was still looking at him and his unmoving facade was a little unsettling, but Neil tried to overplay it with his own, blank impression.

 

“So?”

 

“Yes.”

 

That wasn’t what he was hoping for. He had expected a short answer - but not this short.

“Yes what?”

 

“They’re right. I went to juvie. I almost killed four men. I don’t like any of them, including Nicky, Aaron and Kevin. You _should_ keep as far away from me as possible.”

 

“Why?” Neil asked.

  
“Are you deaf? I almost killed four men.”

 

“So what?”

 

Finally, that startled a reaction out of Andrew and Neil felt a rush of satisfaction. Any kind of reaction from Andrew seemed to be a success.  
His eyes were looking for the lie in Neil’s features, for the fear, the horror, that the knowledge of Andrew’s almost-murders should trigger in Neil. He frowned when he couldn’t find any. Eventually, his eyes locked with Neil’s.

This time it was Neil who was wearing an impassive expression, almost bored by what Andrew had just admitted to.

 

“I’m a Fox for a reason,” Neil said, eventually, as an answer to the question he could read in Andrew’s eyes. “I’ve seen too much death to be scared by it. But what’s more important: Those men attacked Nicky. Emotionally and physically. I wouldn’t do that, I have no reason to. So why would you hurt me?”

 

Andrew didn’t give him an answer. But Neil hadn’t expected one.

With Andrew’s eyes on him, Neil let himself fall backwards into the grass, squinted into the blue sky and shielded his eyes from the sun with one hand.

 

“I’m not scared of you, Andrew.”

 

Almost immediately after Neil said that, Andrew stood up with a scowl on his face that looked like Neil was the most repelling person Andrew had ever laid eyes upon. Neil didn’t know what about his statement triggered this reaction, but he knew it was his fault and he almost regretted it.

“I told you not to be a problem,” Andrew growled. Neil still didn’t know what he meant by that, but he knew he wouldn’t get an answer if he asked. There was no time for him to ask anyway, because Andrew turned around and walked away, and left Neil and the cats by themselves.

 

Neil didn’t see Andrew again that day. He wasn’t in the dorm and didn’t return until after Neil went to bed.

 

***

 

When he woke up the next morning, Neil thought Andrew hadn’t returned at all - he wasn’t in the bed he was supposed to sleep in for the week and it didn’t look like he had been in it at all. But then he heard someone in the kitchen and when Neil entered the room his assumption was confirmed - it was Andrew, brewing coffee.

 

“Morning.” Neil walked over to Andrew in hopes of getting a cup too, yawned and stretched his still tired muscles before he rubbed his eyes with one hand and pulled the hem of his oversized sleepshirt back down with the other. Now that he was literally just out of bed, it was a bit chilly in nothing but his shirt and his boxer briefs, but if he wore more to sleep in these temperatures he’d melt away. He was sure he would.

He shivered slightly and rubbed one cold leg against the other in an attempt to warm them up.

Andrew just threw him a quick glance, looked him over from head to toe and then went back to stare at the coffeemaker.

Neil didn’t press for a good morning in return, instead he jumped onto the counter to sit down right next to the coffeemaker and pushed his foot against the side of Andrew’s thigh to get his attention.

  
“I want a coffee, too.”

 

“Make yourself one, then,” Andrew said, still not looking at Neil.

 

“You’re making coffee anyway.”

 

“Who says you can have some of that?”

 

“Do you get off on being difficult?”

 

“I’m not really in the mood to talk to you about what I get off on.”

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

 

Andrew took a deep breath before he gave Neil an annoyed look.

“Take it as whatever the fuck you want.”

 

Neil grinned, but before he could say anything else there was a knock on the door, followed by Nicky entering the dorm without waiting for an answer.

“Neil? Andrew?” He called from out of their view. A second later he made a confused noise and then appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“There you are!” He realised happily. “How was your first night?”

The question should be directed at Andrew, but Nicky was looking at Neil - who only answered with a bored look. Andrew must have known the question was meant for Neil - or he just didn’t want to answer - because he just took the pot from the coffeemaker without a single word and filled two cups. He poured almost half a cup of milk into his, and two and a half spoonful of sugar, before he looked at Neil expectantly. It took him a second to understand the look.

“Black, two sugars, please,” he said when he did.

 

Andrew threw two spoonful of sugar in Neil’s cup, poured some more coffee on top and then handed it over to Neil, who was still sitting on the counter.

“Thanks,” Neil took a sip from his coffee and then looked at Nicky, who was curiously looking to and fro between Andrew and Neil. Neil gave him twenty seconds before he would say whatever was on his mind - it took him twelve.

 

“Looks like you two...get along?” The way Nicky said it, it sounded like that was a completely foreign concept. Granted, Andrew seemed to like to make it hard on people and didn’t come across as a social person - but then again, Neil wasn’t very social either. He mostly kept with his small group of Foxes, maybe Katelyn, too, but he had no interest in socialising with any of his other classmates. He wouldn’t try to play nice with Andrew either, if it wasn’t for the fact that they had to share the dorm for the next week, and that he was Aaron’s twin and Nicky's cousin. Even if him and Aaron didn’t get along all too well, they were still friends in a weird sort of way, and Aaron was part of the Foxes. So Neil at least tried to show interest in his family - and Andrew happened to be interesting enough to keep Neil's attention. Whether Andrew liked that attention or not was a completely different story.

 

“Nicky, why are you here?” Neil asked eventually.

 

“Oh, yeah, right,” apparently Nicky had completely forgotten he was here for a reason, but at Neil's question he perked up and grinned wide. “We're going shopping. Kevin wants new Exy shoes and Aaron needs a pair of jeans so Katelyn won't cry looking at him on their next date. And I always need something, because a boy can't have enough clothes. And you're coming with us,” at that he pointed at Neil, who was already trying to find a reason why he couldn't go with them. Neil hated shopping, especially with Nicky. It always ended in him taking home at least piece of clothing he didn't want and he'd never wear, but that Nicky insisted looked ' _fine as fuck_ ’ on him.

Neil knew there was no excuse that would make Nicky let him stay home, so he tried for the truth instead.

 

“I don't want to. And I don't need anything.”

 

“I don't _care_ , Neil. You're coming with us. You're in serious need of a t-shirt that isn't three sizes too big. Honestly. Do you remember the face your hot uncle made when he last went through your wardrobe?”

 

“Can you please not call my uncle hot, that's gross.” But Nicky was right. Last time Stuart, in his bespoke British suits and with his gentlemanly manners, was at Foxtower to pay Neil a visit, he had taken a look at his wardrobe, to see if he needed anything else. To say he looked disgusted wouldn't do the expression he wore justice. He looked like he felt personally attacked by the lack of colour and clothes in Neil's actual size in his closet.

Neil sighed, and with a defeated expression he put his mug aside and slid off the counter.

 

“Okay.” The grin that formed on Nicky’s face could’ve lightened up a whole warehouse. Neil only heard Nicky ask Andrew whether he was going to join them too, but he shut the bedroom door before he could hear Andrew’s answer.

 

Apparently the answer had been ‘yes’, because when Neil knocked on the Monsters’ door Andrew was already with them. Neil made a beeline for Kevin, who just looked up from his magazine for a second before he deemed Neil not more interesting than the newest Exy gossip and went back to reading instead.

“It’s going to be cozy in the back of the car when there’s three of you,” Neil pointed out as he sat down on Kevin’s desk. He toyed with the keys to his car between his fingers and eyed the twins and Nicky. Stuart had given him a car when he first went to PSU. He didn’t know much about it except that it was a BMW and that the first time he had laid eyes on it, Nicky went on and on about how ‘beautiful’ it was. Neil didn’t care about cars, as long as they did what they were supposed to do and brought him from A to B - which usually meant from Foxtower to the Foxhole Court.

 

“They’re going to survive it,” Kevin said and closed his magazine. Neil watched him get up and make his way to the door, rightly assuming Neil, and eventually the others too, would follow. “We’re not in the car for hours, we’re just going to the Mall.”

 

Andrew’s presence in the car was heaven-sent. Never before had the journey been this quiet - usually Nicky, who was now seated between the twins, would be chatting away at lightning speed, but after five minutes of this he suddenly went completely silent. When Neil threw a glance in his rearview mirror to check whether Nicky finally choked on his own tongue, the first thing he saw was Nicky’s terrified face and the way he kept staring at his lap. A second later something glistened in the sun - and Neil spotted the knife Andrew pressed to Nicky’s thigh.

Neil was surprised that Andrew apparently carried a knife with him like it was the most normal thing to do. Still, he almost thanked him for shutting Nicky up. Before he could do that he directed his eyes back on the street and drove them to the Mall in almost complete silence, save for the radio playing quietly in the background.

 

Nicky kept a telling distance between himself and Andrew once they were at the Mall and stuck to Neil instead.

“Come on, Neil, we’re going to find something nice for you to wear. You’ve got such a nice bum, we have to make something of that.”  


“If you don’t stop I’m going to walk away and pretend I don’t know you,” Aaron said annoyed and glared at Nicky. When he went back to looking through the clothes racks, Nicky stuck out his tongue and then turned back to Neil.

“No, really, though. With all the running you do, you gotta have a peachy bum. Why not present it to the world?”

 

“Oh my God,” Aaron threw his hands up, turned around and left the group. This was a new record, usually it took Nicky a little longer to drive Aaron away. Neil just looked after him for a second, then decided to look through the shirts in front of him. If they were here anyway, he might as well see if he found anything.

 

Nicky was happy to pick out clothes for Neil by himself. Neil knew he would have to try all of them on and then Nicky would decide which he would buy, without taking into account whether Neil wanted them or not.

Usually Neil ended up buying them just so Nicky would leave him alone, and then donate them to the little second hand shop on Perimeter Road the next day. At least he managed to get some peace and quiet in the meantime. Nicky was busy looking at various shirts in colours Neil didn’t even know existed, Aaron was off to somewhere where his cousin couldn’t embarrass him, and Kevin was somewhere in the sports aisle to look for new shoes.

Neil sighed and put another shirt back onto the rack. He saw some movement in his peripheral vision and turned his head to look at Andrew. He crossed his arms on top of stacks of T-Shirts and rested his chin on his arms. Neil couldn’t tell if he was just watching him, or looking for something, but his stare felt heavy nonetheless. It was impossible to look through the remaining clothes when it felt like Andrew’s eyes bore a hole into his head and Neil felt hot all over. When Neil was about to ask what Andrew’s problem was, he spoke up first.

 

“Do you own anything that actually fits you?”

 

Neil was surprised Andrew was asking this. He didn’t think he would care.

 

“I think my clothes fit me just fine. I like them this way.”

 

“Right... But if we’re going to Columbia by the end of the week I’m not taking you like this.” Neil was so surprised by the statement, he couldn’t even be offended by what Andrew said or the derogatory wave of his hand.

  
“We’re going to Columbia? To Eden’s?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And you’re coming with us?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why didn’t they tell me?”

 

Andrew shrugged and walked around the stand with T-Shirts until he was right beside Neil.

“Nicky said something about how you’d try to talk your way out of it for the whole week and then come with them anyway.”

Of course. This was typical Nicky.

 

Not that he was _wrong_. But Neil wouldn’t admit that.

 

But before Neil could complain about how rude the others were, Andrew shoved something against his chest. Neil quickly realised it was a black, long-sleeved shirt. Much like the one Andrew was wearing.

 

“Try this.”

 

“This looks just like the one you’re wearing,” Neil mentioned as he held the shirt up and took a look at it.

 

“You’ve got a problem with the way I dress?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then stop fucking complaining and try it on.”

 

When Neil took a look at himself in the full-body mirror inside the changing room a couple of minutes later he had to admit he didn’t look too bad in what Andrew had chosen for him. It was all-black, very much like the clothes Andrew wore, and a combination of a simple long-sleeved shirt, jeans with grey spots at the knees which gave them a used look, and a pair of heavy ankle boots. The shirt was his size, but the material it was made of was thick enough so Neil couldn’t feel his scars through it when he ran his hand over his stomach. The jeans were… Skinny. There was no other way to describe them. Nicky would probably love them. He stepped out of the too-small room and felt a little self-conscious.

Andrew was waiting for him and looked up from his phone when he noticed Neil stepping out to show himself. For a second, Neil thought he saw Andrew falter but that weird expression was gone again just as quickly.

“Better,” Andrew said eventually after giving Neil a slow once-over, “Now change back into your things so we can pay and leave.”

 

***

 

Thirty minutes later a slightly panicked looking Nicky, followed by Aaron and Kevin who looked more irritated than anything, all but ran out of the store and towards the car.

“Neil! Neil, oh thank God, there you are! Don’t just run off like this, I thought you got lost!” His eyes fell onto Andrew, and Neil could see the unspoken 'or murdered’ in his expression.

 

Neil and Andrew had been out of the Mall just ten minutes after Neil had tried the clothes Andrew chose for him. Since then they were waiting for the others in the parking lot, smoking cigarettes and doing a lot of not-talking. He was just about to take the cigarette Andrew lightened for him, when Nicky yelled at him from across the parking lot and Neil stopped mid-movement to turn his head towards his voice.

 

“I didn’t run off,” he answered, took the cigarette and put it between his lips, “We were done shopping, so we figured we might as well wait here for you to finish.”

 

“Since when do you smoke?” Aaron asked.

 

“What do you mean, you were done shopping?” Nicky asked.

 

“I do, just not regularly,” Neil said to Aaron, who threw a glance at Kevin. Kevin knew about Neil’s occasional smoking, and he wasn’t happy about it, but he gave up complaining a couple of months ago. Neil took a drag from the cigarette and blew the smoke in his direction, which had Kevin pull a grimace and Andrew look slightly amused. Then he turned to Nicky. “And I mean we were done. I bought a whole new outfit, just like you wanted me to.”

 

“What colours did you choose?” Nicky looked defeated already. He knew the inside of Neil’s wardrobe better than Neil himself, and he wasn’t happy with it.

 

“Black,” Neil said, exactly how Nicky had feared.

 

“Oh, no, Neil,” he whined, “Honey, this isn’t what we came here for. If I wanted you to choose your outfit yourself we wouldn't have-”

 

“I didn’t,” Neil interrupted Nicky.

 

“You didn’t?”

 

“Andrew chose the outfit.”

 

Kevin, Aaron and Nicky looked at each other, startled into silence, then at Andrew and eventually at Neil again. Nicky opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again, frowned and opened it again, but before he could speak, Neil did.

 

“So, can we leave then?” He flicked the cigarette away and went around the car to the driver’s side, while pulling his keys from his jeans’ pocket.

 

“Yes, let’s go. Kevin can sit in the back this time,” as Andrew said this, even Neil stopped in his tracks to look at him. Andrew didn’t seem to mind, as he just casually patted the car’s hood while walking around it, ignoring Kevin’s protest.

Neil watched him open the door and get into the passenger seat before he threw a glance at the other three. Kevin looked genuinely upset but resigned at the same time, while Aaron and Nicky just seemed confused. With a shrug, Neil sat down behind the wheel.

 

Now that Nicky was relatively safe from being stabbed in the leg he talked more on the way back, but still not nearly as much as usually. Neil and Andrew, on the other hand, were content to just sit quietly next to each other. Andrew stared out of the window for the whole ride and Neil kept his eyes on the streets most of the time.

Most of the time, because sometimes he couldn’t quite keep himself from glancing over at Andrew and staring at his profile for a couple of seconds, wondering what was going through his head. Andrew was confusing Neil, and Neil didn’t know how to handle this. First he was a complete dickhead and wouldn’t even talk to Neil, and 24 hours later he chose an outfit for him to wear to Eden’s Twilight on the weekend - and Neil bought it without questioning him. And then there were these _things_ he made Neil feel that Neil tried very hard to ignore. All he ever wanted to do was play Exy in peace and crush the Ravens in Championships. Now he still wanted to do that - but additionally he also wanted to take that uniform off Andrew piece by piece and--

 

“Neil, red light!!” Nicky’s voice and the sudden jolt of the car breaking hard ripped Neil from his thoughts violently, and he gripped the steering wheel firmly in reflex. There were a couple honks from cars behind him and Neil blinked, confused, at the red traffic light, then his gaze wandered to his right. Andrew had pulled the handbrake and kept Neil from driving full-speed on a busy crossroad.

 

“What the fuck!” Aaron cursed from the backseat and punched Neil’s seat so hard, he could feel it in his back, “Don’t get us fucking killed, asshole!” Nicky fell into his seat with a relieved groan and Kevin muttered curses under his breath as he collected his magazine from the floor.

Neil and Andrew stared at each other silently in the meantime, Andrew’s hand still firmly wrapped around the break. Neil clenched his teeth until it started to hurt. He waited for Andrew to say something, but he didn’t - instead he uncurled his fingers from the break, reached for his cigarettes and lit one up. Only then did Andrew tear his gaze away from Neil’s and looked back out of the window.

 

“Thank y-”

 

“Shut up.” Andrew said as he waved Neil off.

 

***

 

The rest of the day and the following one had been fairly uneventful. Neil had caught himself staring at Andrew a couple more times - and he was pretty sure Andrew had caught him at least twice as well. This was getting out of hand, but Neil didn’t properly realise this until Wednesday, when night practice ended in Kevin shouting at Neil because he was distracted and clumsy. All because Neil’s thoughts kept derailing. It was frustrating for him too, but he just couldn’t help it. This morning he had woken up earlier than Andrew, and witnessing him waking up - his hair still tousled, eyes droopy and his features almost _soft_ until he noticed Neil looking at him - was something that just wouldn’t leave Neil’s head.

 

Kevin was still moody when Neil drove them back to Foxtower after their practice and didn’t say a word. Neil, not wanting to be yelled at again, wasn’t about to try and make him talk either, so it was a quiet way back. When he entered his dorm room it was just as quiet, and for a second Neil thought Andrew was out, but soon enough he found him sitting on Neil’s desk, smoking a cigarette.

 

“Hi,” he said while walking towards the bedroom. He didn’t get an answer, but he didn’t expect one either. Neil went to take a quick shower to wash off the sweat from night practice and work some knots out of his muscles. It wouldn’t help if he’d be sore in the morning.

The shower was quick and efficient and he didn’t linger, even though the hot spray of water felt good on his skin and his tired body. Neil didn’t wipe the fog off the mirror and put on his shirt before drying his hair with a towel. Every now and then he’d still feel sick from looking into a mirror; sometimes because it was the face of his father that was staring back at him, sometimes because all of his scars reminded him of his time on the run - and sometimes because of both. A sick feeling spread in his stomach as Neil stared at his fogged, distorted reflection. He had to avert his gaze. He should just go to bed.

 

When he opened the bathroom door and stepped into the living room, hair still damp and in nothing but an oversized shirt and briefs, his eyes almost immediately fell on Andrew, standing in the middle of the room with a can of beer in his hand. He stared at Neil, and Neil stared back, unsure about the situation.

The more Andrew looked at Neil, the less happy he looked until eventually, he placed his beer on the small table and walked towards Neil.

Neil thought he’d hit him for whatever reason, maybe Neil did or said something that upset him - the look on Andrew’s face was pure disgust and anger and Neil made a couple steps backwards until he felt the wall press into his back. There was no way for him to escape and Neil’s heart started racing.

Andrew’s hand pressed against Neil’s chest. Neil closed his eyes in expectation of a fist hitting his face. Fingers curled around his jaw, a thumb pressed into his cheek, hot breath ghosted over his face - and then hot, dry lips were pressed against Neil’s.

Neil’s eyes flew open in surprise. Andrew’s face was just an inch from his, his eyes were shut tightly and his mouth was a constant, demanding press against his own. He would’ve expected anything - anything but this. Neil whined quietly in the back of his throat, when he finally fully realised what was happening.

 

“What-” He murmured into the kiss, but his voice broke off. Why was Andrew kissing him? Or was it a dream? Surely Neil would wake up any second now, in his bed with Andrew either on the opposite side of the room or already up and about.

 

Instead he felt Andrew bite down on his bottom lip, and his knees turned to jelly. It was pure luck the wall was in his back to hold him up.

 

“Tell me to stop,” Andrew growled. His voice sounded as angry as his face had looked just a couple of seconds ago, but despite his words he pressed his hand firmer against Neil’s chest and all but pinned him to the wall while still kissing him senseless. There was nothing further from Neil’s intentions than telling Andrew ‘no’. The only word Neil could think of was ‘yes’.

With an angry grunt, Andrew bit down on Neil’s bottom lip again, enough to send a rush of pain through Neil’s mouth, but not enough to make him want to stop.

 

“Yes,” Neil breathed against Andrew’s mouth. His body started to listen to his commands again, he could kiss Andrew back and his hands flew up to his chest, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him closer.

Andrew curled his fingers around one of Neil’s wrists and gave it a quick, warning squeeze. Curious fingers let go of Andrew’s collar on one side. Neil let his fingertips glide along Andrew’s neck in a featherlight touch. He felt Andrew’s fingers twitch around his wrist, but there was no resistance. Even more intriguing, though, was the shudder that went through Andrew at the touch - so he did it again.

The way Andrew kissed him, the way his lips felt on Neil’s and his firm grip on his wrist had Neil breathless. He was so focused on Andrew’s mouth and his response to Neil’s fingers on his neck, he missed when Andrew took his hand off his jaw.

 

Neil almost swallowed his tongue when he felt Andrew’s hand press against his crotch.

 

“No?” Andrew murmured, nipping on Neil’s jaw.

 

“Ye-...Yes,” Neil gasped in response.

 

Oh God.

 

This wasn’t the first time someone had their hand down Neil’s pants. But, God, was it the first time he wanted it this much.

It took Andrew about two minutes to make a gasping mess of Neil, without even actually putting his hand inside his pants. Neil would be embarrassed, if he’d be able to put together any coherent thoughts.

Andrew pressed his palm against Neil’s cock, and despite the fabric in between, Neil moaned when Andrew dragged it all the way down, in one slow, smooth motion.

 

Suddenly, as if he burnt his hands on Neil, Andrew was gone. Cold air washed over Neil’s whole body and he shivered violently at the sudden change. The only point of contact left between them were Andrew’s fingers, still curled around Neil’s wrist.

Neil opened his eyes to see what happened. Andrew stared him down, two steps away from him, and when they locked eyes he squeezed Neil’s wrist hard enough to hurt. Neil, leaning heavily against the wall, his chest heaving with each breath, squirmed and tried to pull his wrist from Andrew’s grasp. Andrew let him, and then frowned at Neil.

  
“What? Why did you stop?” Neil asked breathlessly and rubbed his wrist.

 

“I told you not to be a problem,” Andrew said, sounding irritated. Then he turned around, patted his jeans’ pockets down for his cigarettes and walked towards the door.

  
“Andrew, wait!” But he didn’t. He left Neil standing there, breathless and helplessly aroused. With a groan, Neil let his head fall back against the wall.

“What the fuck,” he whined and bit down on his lip. The memory of Andrew’s teeth on it sent a jolt of arousal all the way from his lip to his groin.

 

If he didn’t have a problem before, he had one now - how was he supposed to look at Andrew now without thinking of this?

Looking down his body, Neil decided this was a problem he’d have to deal with later; there were more urgent matters at hand right now…

 

***

 

Andrew was still gone the next morning, so Neil had some breakfast on his own, got dressed and then went over to the Monsters’ room to find Kevin. When Nicky let him in, Neil found both Minyard twins in the beanbag chairs, playing some video game. Neither one of them acknowledged his arrival.

Neil looked at Andrew, but he kept ignoring him. He wasn’t surprised, but still annoyed. Last night Andrew snogged Neil like their lives depended on it and almost gave him a handjob, and today he acted like Neil didn’t even exist.

 

“Dickhead,” he mumbled under his breath. Apparently Kevin heard him, because he threw him a curious glance, but when he saw who Neil was looking at he just smirked knowingly and shrugged. Not that he actually had a clue why Neil was so annoyed by Andrew, but he wasn’t about to tell Kevin that.

Neil sat down on Kevin’s desk, who turned his laptop so Neil had a good view as well. He was watching an old USC vs. Ravens game.

 

They spent most of the morning watching and analysing old Exy games, while the twins played video games and Nicky complained how boring they all were.

 

“I wish Allison was here,” Nicky complained with a dramatic sigh, “She’s a lot more fun than you guys. Are you planning to be boring all day long?”

 

“Shut up, Nicky,” Aaron said and for once, Neil agreed with him. He turned back to the screen and watched as Laila Dermott fended off a shot at goal by Riko. Just seeing this sent a rush of satisfaction through him - he couldn’t wait to see Riko despair on the court against the Foxes. Him and Kevin would rip through their defense and the Foxes’ own defense would show Riko how much of a mistake it had been to underestimate the Foxes.

 

It was quiet, save for the sounds of the Exy game Kevin and Neil were watching and the video game the twins were playing, for about five minutes. Then Nicky sighed again, loudly, but was ignored. He waited for some sort of reaction for a full ten seconds before sighing even louder than before. Neil could see the annoyance on Kevin’s face when he flicked him a quick glance.

There was another minute of silence before Nicky sighed again.

 

“For fuck’s sake, Nicky!” Kevin snapped and turned around, “Go do something if you’re bored!”

 

“Alone?” Nicky almost sounded offended at the idea, “That’s even more boring, Kevin. We should all go and grab some lunch, it’s about time anyway.”

Neil expected everyone to just ignore Nicky again, but, surprisingly, that wasn’t the case. And even more surprisingly, it was Andrew who seemed to agree with Nicky.

He put his controller away and got out of the beanbag.

 

“While we’re at it, we should grab some ice cream.”

 

Nicky stared at Andrew, not quite believing he was agreeing with him, before he started to grin his signature Nicky grin and jumped to his feet.

“Yes, ice cream! I want cookie dough. Let’s go to the shop and grab lunch and ice cream. Come on, guys!”

With a sigh Neil got up from his place on Kevin’s desk. Now that he thought about it, lunch didn’t sound too bad.

 

“Neil,” Kevin looked at him accusingly, but Neil just waved him off.

 

“I’m going to grab the car keys,” he said, “Meet you at the car in five.”

 

Somehow they convinced Kevin to leave his Exy recordings and join them on their way to the shop, because when Neil arrived at the parking lot, all four of them were waiting for him.

Andrew was leaning against the car and smoking a cigarette. He said something to Kevin when he saw Neil approach, then flicked the stub away and went to the passenger seat.

Neil looked at Kevin, who looked mildly annoyed, but decided it wasn’t his problem. He unlocked the car and sat down on the driver’s seat.

 

Andrew still hadn’t said a single word to Neil today when he sat down next to him. Neil looked at him, not sure what he was expecting, but Andrew just threw the door shut, spared him a short glance and then looked out of the window. Only when Neil heard the last door close did he break his gaze from Andrew and started the car.

“Try not to kill us this time,” Aaron said.

 

“Fuck you,” Neil responded.

 

“Boys, please, be nice,” Nicky pleaded.

 

“Shut up,” Neil and Aaron said at the same time, and Nicky huffed. “...well, at least you finally agree on something,” he muttered under his breath, but still sulked.

 

At the shop, Neil looked through the variety of frozen foods, ignoring Kevin’s protests and demands of healthy food. Neil wasn’t about to actually cook. If Kevin had a problem with his diet, then he could cook for him.

On the other hand, that would mean Neil had to eat a ton of vegetables, and he _hated_ vegetables. Just thinking about the vegetable soup Kevin had tried to make him eat the other day had Neil scrunching up his nose in disgust.

 

“Neil. Put that away. Do you know how many bad fats this-- Oh my God, Nicky, how much chocolate is that? No, no, put that away! Nicky, I mean it, put it _away_!”

Neil watched Kevin wander off to Nicky and try to wrestle at least three pounds of chocolate bars from his arms. Quickly Neil wandered off, ready meal in hand, so he’d finally have his peace and quiet. He decided the candy aisle was the perfect spot to hide from Kevin… And maybe grab some chocolate or gummy bears for dessert.

 

“Oh.” As soon as Neil entered the aisle he spotted Andrew, who was considering the chocolate display. His gaze wandered over to Neil and the slow, lazy once-over he gave him had his skin crawling. Eventually their eyes met, and suddenly Neil had goosebumps all over for a completely different reason.

 

“Fleeing from Kevin?” Andrew asked.

 

“Oh, wow, you talk to me?” Neil didn’t want to sound as offended as he did, but to be fair, he had all reason to be.

The appropriate reaction to this would’ve been an apology, but Neil didn’t expect that from Andrew. If there was one thing he knew about Andrew Minyard by now, then it was, that he didn’t do appropriate.

Andrew tilted his head slightly while he considered Neil. It felt a bit like being on display, but Neil overplayed how uncomfortable he felt with a neutral expression. Neil let it happen for only a minute before he had enough. If Andrew didn’t want to talk - fine. But Neil wasn’t here to be looked at like a frog being dissected, he was here to grab some chocolate. Possibly Jelly Beans. Jelly Beans seemed like a sensible choice. Jelly Beans _and_ chocolate sounded even better. And it would piss Kevin off more.

Satisfied with the choice he made, Neil grabbed an extra large pack of Jelly Beans before walking over to where Andrew was standing right in front of the shelf full of chocolate. He didn’t pay him any attention, but instead looked at the variety in front of him. It was hard to choose and Neil entertained the thought to get more than one bar for a while, but eventually decided he didn’t want to go overboard with the candy after all.

Neil chewed his bottom lip and frowned a little as he thought. Finally, he made up his mind. But when he reached for the milk chocolate with whole nuts - simple but an all-time favourite - fingers wrapped around his wrist and stopped him mid-movement.

 

Neil could only look at his wrist before he was pushed against the shelf. His ready meal and the Jelly Beans clattered to the ground, so did a chocolate bar or two when Neil’s back hit the shelf. A second later, Andrew filled his vision.

His body keenly remembered the last time Andrew had pushed him up against a wall and a shiver of anticipation ran down Neil’s spine.

Neither of them did anything for a while except stare each other down, but Andrew’s breath on Neil’s face was terribly distracting.

 

“I don’t like problems,” Andrew announced eventually.

 

“And I am one?” Neil asked.

 

“Yes. A particularly annoying one.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Your face.”

 

Neil blinked in confusion. His face… Was a problem?

“My face? What about it?”

 

“It’s distracting. I hate it.”

 

It took Neil longer than he’d like to admit to understand what Andrew was actually saying.

“My face is-... Does that mean you think I-”

 

“And your legs. You just love showing them off, don’t you?” Andrew looked genuinely repulsed, despite his words. Neil didn’t know what it was that made him pull a face like this - the fact that, apparently, he was attracted to Neil, or something else.

 

“You think I’m showing them off?” Neil couldn’t hide a small grin. “...You think they look good?”

  
“Shut up.” Andrew grabbed Neil’s neck with his second hand and pressed his fingers roughly into his skin. “Yes or no?”  
  
“Yes,” Neil said and leaned in to catch Andrew’s lips with his own.

 

The kiss was hot and rough and hungry, and everything Neil could've asked for. Neil reached for Andrew's shoulder and held on so tight, he thought he might bruise the skin.

Every point of contact between them felt like fire on his skin: Andrew’s fingers on his wrist, his fingers on his neck, his lips on Neil’s and--

Neil gasped when Andrew's tongue, hot and wet, pushed against his lips. Fingers threaded themselves into the short hair in his nape and he could feel fingernails scratching over his scalp. Kissing Andrew felt like dying and coming back to life, over and over again - and Neil was the fool who willingly ran into certain death.

His own fingers went to explore now; they ran along Andrew's neck and nape - eliciting some more shudders from him - then down his broad shoulders. Just when Neil's hand was on Andrew's arm, he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and bit down _, hard._ A shudder went through Neil’s body and he choked on a breath. It felt like electricity went straight from his lip to his groin. He gripped Andrew's biceps to ground himself, so he wouldn’t moan out loud in the middle of a supermarket.

 

Suddenly there was a loud gasp from the other end of the candy aisle.

“Jesus! You're in public, can you keep it down?!”

 

Both Neil and Andrew turned their heads to look at the intruder. It was a middle-aged woman, and she was covering the eyes of an approximately five year old boy with her hands. She looked genuinely offended and Neil couldn't quite hold back a cheeky grin, despite his annoyance at being interrupted.

Andrew seemed completely untouched and just stared the woman down until she felt so uncomfortable, she shuffled on her feet, looking around the aisle in an attempt to avoid Andrew’s eyes, before turning on her heel and dragging her son away. Neil could hear the boy protest and complain about wanting chocolate, but the woman told him they'd get some later.

 

“Let’s find the others,” Andrew said as he took a step back from Neil. Neil wanted to protest, but Andrew was already on his way to take three bars of chocolate from a shelf, so he just picked up his ready meal, the jelly beans and grabbed the chocolate he wanted, then turned to leave the aisle.

He heard Andrew catch up with him before he saw him, but by the time they found Nicky, Kevin and Aaron, they were quietly walking side by side.

 

“There you are!” Nicky exclaimed as he saw them approach and looked somewhat relieved.

 

“Neil, no,” Kevin said immediately when he saw the unhealthy foods in Neil’s arms.

 

“Neil, yes,” Neil said unimpressed and threw his groceries in the shopping cart, maintaining eye-contact with Kevin as he did.

“Can we leave now?” Aaron already pushed the cart in the direction of the checkouts when he asked this, and no one needed anything else, so they made their way over.

 

Kevin was still throwing Neil annoyed glances when they were on their way back to the car, but Neil just ignored him. They ended up in the same seating order as on the way there and Neil didn’t ask why Kevin went to the backseat again, without Andrew even saying anything this time. He just took the already lit cigarette from Andrew’s fingers when he offered it to him, put it between his lips and drove them all back to Foxtower.

 

***

 

Later that day, Neil was lazing about on the couch in his and Matt’s dorm in sweatpants and one of his favourite, very old and very worn out, shirts. There was a show on that Matt had told him to watch, but he was on episode five now and didn’t even remember any of the characters’ names. He constantly nodded off because it was so boring, but he couldn’t be bothered to think of a different show or movie to watch on Netflix.

 

Neil was startled out of his sleepiness when the door to the dorm was shut loudly and just a second after he was hit by something. He almost fell off the couch from sitting up so quickly and cursed quietly as he scrambled to hold onto the sofa.

“Don’t piss yourself,” Andrew deadpanned, folded his arms on the back of the sofa and looked down on Neil. Only then did Neil realise something had fallen into his lap when he sat up and looked down to find a bag from the small shop around the corner.

  
“What’s this?” He asked, suspiciously. A look inside revealed two plastic spoons and a small bottle of Whiskey. Neil had no idea what he was supposed to do with plastic spoons and Whiskey, so he turned to look back at Andrew and watched as he walked around the settee. Another bag was dangling from Andrew’s hand. Without a word he pushed Neil’s feet to the side and sat down on the free spot, put the bag down right next to Neil’s ankles and reached for the remote.

Cold seeped from the bag through Neil’s sweatpants, and in an attempt to get his ankle away from it he pushed his feet towards Andrew, until his toes were buried under his thigh. Andrew didn’t do anything but looked at Neil’s legs intently.

 

“I don’t want to drink.”

 

Andrew peeled his eyes from Neil’s legs to look at his face instead.

  
“More for me then,” he said and grabbed the bag with the spoons and the Whiskey. Andrew didn’t even bother with a glass, he just opened the bottle and took a long sip.

“What’s in the other bag?” Neil asked.

“Ice cream,” Andrew said after closing the bottle again. He let it fall onto the sofa next to himself and raised the hand with the remote to change the show to something else. When he found something he seemed satisfied with, Andrew reached for the bag with the ice cream inside and took two tubs out. One of them he held out to Neil.

 

“Thanks,” Neil said, a bit surprised, as he took the ice cream. Quickly he grabbed the plastic spoons from the other bag and gave one of them to Andrew.

 

They sat in comfortable silence, watching some superhero movie and eating ice cream straight from the tub for what felt like minutes and hours at the same time. Neil’s toes were still under Andrew’s thigh and sometimes he’d wiggle them a bit, but Andrew didn’t even bat an eyelash. If he was being honest, Neil paid more attention to Andrew’s profile than to Deadpool fighting baddies on-screen.

 

“Andrew?”

 

“Mh.” Andrew didn’t look at Neil, but his reaction proved he was still listening.

 

“When the others told me about you…” Andrew dug the spoon back into his ice cream and spooned an ungodly amount of ice cream at once in his mouth. Neil waited another second,  but Andrew just kept staring at the screen. “When they told me about you… They said you don’t like being touched. And that you can get quite violent, even if someone just touches your arm.”

For a second Neil saw something in Andrew’s face; the blank expression faltered, the corner of Andrew’s mouth twitched and his eyes darted to Neil before he looked back towards the TV and his expression froze again.

“Correct.” He said in a seemingly unconcerned voice.

 

“Why?” Neil asked.

 

Andrew dug his spoon into the ice cream again, but this time he placed the tub between his thighs. His eyes hardened but he kept them on the screen, even though it seemed to cost him a lot of self-restraint.

This time the silence was everything but comfortable, it felt like it was suffocating Neil and he almost regretted the question. Andrew stayed quiet for so long, Neil started to think he shut down and would just ignore Neil for the rest of the evening - so it almost surprised him when Andrew did answer after all.

 

“I prefer being the one to decide who touches me and who doesn’t. I’ve met too many people who can’t accept a ‘no’.”

 

“Oh.” A small frown appeared on Neil’s face. The answer was a bit strange. He’d accept Andrew’s choice nevertheless, but he didn’t quite understand why he’d react so strongly to small touches, except--

 

“ _Oh._ ” Neil’s eyes grew wide and he stared at Andrew’s profile. He finally understood the true meaning of Andrew’s words, and it felt like a punch to the guts. Immediately Neil’s head was flushed with memories of the times he touched Andrew, of how he had reacted. Had Neil missed signs of discomfort from Andrew? Noises? Flinches? He didn’t remember any, but he still felt like he crossed a border he didn’t know was there, and now it was too late to go back, his footprints were already spread all over the ground and there was no way for him to undo them.

 

Neil’s looked down at his feet, wedged between Andrew’s thigh and the sofa, and he remembered Andrew looking at his feet intently when he pushed them there just a short while ago. His stomach clenched and suddenly Andrew's leg felt a lot heavier.

But then he remembered Andrew’s expression, too. He hadn’t looked uncomfortable or stressed while watching Neil push his feet there, but merely exasperated at Neil’s audacity.

Neil wiggled his toes experimentally and pushed them a bit further beneath Andrew’s thigh, closely watching every change in Andrew’s expression - but there was nothing.

 

“Then why am I allowed?”

 

Andrew finally turned his head to look at Neil and silently eyed him for a few moments. Neil wasn’t sure if he tried to figure out the ‘ _why_ ’ himself, or if he debated whether to tell Neil his reasons or not.

 

“How many people did you kill?”  
  
The question startled Neil so much, he just blinked at Andrew a couple of times. He didn’t know why Andrew decided to ask this question now, but he wouldn’t deny him an answer after his honesty.

 

“I can’t tell you.”

 

Andrew didn’t seem satisfied with that, so Neil clarified.

 

“I can’t. I lost count.”

 

At that, Andrew raised one eyebrow just the slightest bit. A silent prompt to explain further. It made Neil feel sick, just the thought of his father, his mother, running for all these years and the things they did in that time, just to survive. Neil had pushed away every thought of it for the past year, hoping he'd just forget, forget, forget and become Neil Abram Josten through and through, but deep inside he had known he would never be able to.

The Foxes didn't know about his past, save for Kevin. They knew something was up with him, they knew something made him the person he was today and, most of all, something made him a Fox, but they never asked. No one ever asked about anything, really. Either you told them yourself, or they'd let you get away with silence - which Neil was very thankful for.

 

“I haven't always been Neil,” he said eventually. Nothing in Andrew's face changed, and Neil didn't know whether he should be relieved or if he wanted Andrew to react to this confession.

 

“I was given the name Nathaniel after birth. And a lot of other names after that. I used to be on the run. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of.”

 

Andrew just silently considered Neil for what felt like ages and his skin started to itch under the unmoving stare. Finally, Andrew tilted his head to the side just the slightest bit.

 

“You don't look like a Nathaniel.”

 

“Because I'm not.” Neil raised his chin and looked at Andrew with certainty in his eyes. “I'm Neil.”

 

Something that looked a little like surprise and a little like amusement appeared on Andrew's face, and his lips formed a little 'oh’ before he laughed for a moment; then he turned back towards the TV and took the ice cream from between his thighs.

 

“Such honesty,” he said, “See, that's why.” Andrew scooped a big spoonful of chocolate ice cream into his mouth, so Neil assumed the conversation was over. He watched Andrew as he sucked on the spoon, as if he was deep in thought and forgot about the plastic between his lips, while Neil felt the weight of the truth he learned tonight like a stone in his stomach.

He was just about to dig his spoon into his tub as well and try to focus on the movie, when Andrew spoke up again.

 

“I'm not scared of you, Neil.”

 

Having his own words thrown back at him like this caught Neil so off-guard, he just stared at Andrew blankly for way too long. But when he realised what those words meant, especially in this context, his eyes grew wide, and his heart skipped a beat.

 

_I'm not scared of you._

 

But it meant so much more than that.

 

I know you listen to me.

 

I know you respect my 'no’s.  

 

I know you're not like them.

 

_I trust you._

 

Neil put the tub of ice cream to the floor next to the sofa and pulled his toes back from under Andrew's thigh. He saw Andrew watch him out of the corner of his eyes, and he kept his own gaze on Andrew's face, to see every reaction and every possible sign of discomfort. Slowly and carefully, Neil scrambled to his knees and shuffled closer to Andrew, until his knees were almost touching Andrew's leg.

This was the first time Neil approached Andrew like this, the other times it had always been Andrew who initiated closer contact, and with their conversation still fresh in mind, Neil wasn't so sure how clever this was - but he wanted, needed, to try it. He raised one hand, but stopped an inch from Andrew's shoulder. Andrew didn't move, he simply observed, but he also didn't tell Neil no.

 

“Can I-....” Neil leaned in an inch, stopped and pulled back again, frowning, slightly irritated with his own uncertainty.

 

“Yes,” Andrew answered, and suddenly there was a hand in Neil's hair, pulling his head down until their lips met and Neil's hand rested between Andrew's shoulder and his chest, and he melted into the kiss. He curled his other arm around the back of the couch so he wouldn't fall over, but most of all so he wouldn't reach for Andrew without thinking.

 

“Stop it,” Andrew grumbled against Neil's lips, just a few seconds later.

 

“But- I--”

 

Andrew pulled back and Neil almost whimpered, but instead he bit his lip and looked into Andrew's eyes that were still so close, he could see the different shades of brown in them and feel Andrew's breath on his face.

“It changes nothing. I said I'm not scared of you. Stop being scared of yourself.”

 

“At least tell me where it's okay to touch.”

 

Andrew and Neil stared each other down for a few, long moments, but if he had to, Neil would stay like this for hours - until Andrew gave him an answer. Eventually Andrew’s features and shoulders relaxed.

 

“No further than my hips.”

 

Neil smiled, then nodded.

It was easier to kiss Andrew now, knowing Andrew’s boundaries took a lot of weight off Neil’s shoulders and he could concentrate on the feel of Andrew’s lips and hands again. Neil uncurled his arm from the back of the sofa and cradled Andrew’s face in his hands instead. He could feel a light stubble on Andrew’s cheeks Neil knew he’d shave off again in the morning, as he had done every morning since he arrived at PSU. Neil assumed it was a habit he acquired during his time with the army, and Neil couldn’t say he was overly fond of it. If anyone would ask him, he’d say that a bit of stubble would probably look pretty good on Andrew.

 

But, sadly, no one asked him.

 

Hands on his waist pulled Neil from his thoughts. Slowly, steadily, they made their way down. Neil took a shaky breath, leaned his forehead against Andrew’s, eyes closed, and licked his lips. Andrew caught them in a kiss again seconds later, just as his fingertips reached the hem of Neil’s shirt and slipped underneath. A full-body shudder wrecked Neil’s form, even though Andrew did nothing but drag his fingers up along his skin. But he didn’t get far, soon Andrew’s fingertips caught on the first scar on Neil’s body; a big scar that started right over his left hip, went all the way across his stomach and ended just beneath his first rib. It was one of his oldest scars, too, from a time when he was still young, dumb and careless. Just one month into their run from the butcher, Neil - John, back then, his first alias - and Mary had tried to climb a fence. With two of Nathan’s men on their heels a shortcut seemed like the best idea - except Neil had been clumsy, slipped and fell. He caught on the barbed wire and cut his skin open all the way from his hips to his ribs. Being a child, he screamed and cried so loud, Mary eventually knocked him out and carried him for miles, until she found a safe place to rest and tend to Neil’s wound.

 

Andrew broke the kiss to look at Neil as his fingers dragged along the scar.

 

“That feels like a big ouchy,” he said, voice still a little breathless.

 

“It was,” Neil replied.

 

A couple more seconds passed in which Andrew looked at Neil as if he was looking for something, before he just pulled him in for another kiss. Neil was happy to oblige and kiss Andrew silent, rather than answering more questions about his scars. Andrew’s fingers were still roaming his skin, exploring his stomach and his chest and the scars on his skin; a map to Neil’s life, to what brought him here and what made him the person he was today. But he wasn’t asking any questions anymore.

Suddenly, one of Andrew’s thumbs brushed over one of Neil’s nipples instead of a scar, and a rush of arousal went straight from there to Neil’s crotch. He was surprised by his own intense reaction, when his breath caught in his throat.

The smile that formed on Andrew’s lips wasn’t visible to Neil, but he felt it against his own just before Andrew did it again. He pushed his thumb over Neil’s nipple again and again in tiny circles, until the small bud was hard and sensitive against the rough pad of Andrew’s finger and Neil was all but panting into Andrew’s mouth.

 

“Andrew?” Neil pulled back a few inches to look at Andrew’s face.

 

“Yes?”

 

Neil licked his lips and thought about it for a couple seconds. Did he really want to make this offer or not? _Should_ he?

 

“You know, Matt doesn’t really like other people being in his bed… Maybe you should spend the last couple nights in mine.”

One of Andrew’s eyebrows shot up almost immediately with obvious scepticism.

 

“Wow,” he deadpanned eventually, “That was probably the cheesiest invitation to fuck I’ve received in a while.”

 

“Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t do this very often,” Neil shot back, feeling more than a little attacked. It wasn’t like he had a lot of sex, so how on earth was he supposed to be all smooth and clever with this?

 

Andrew seemed amused by Neil’s defensiveness, if the smug smile on his face was anything to go by. Suddenly he pushed himself up and three seconds later Neil was half-lying on the sofa, Andrew fitted neatly between his thighs and towering over him. Neil was so surprised, he almost kicked Andrew off him reflexively.

 

“Stop being so butthurt,” Andrew said, “I didn’t say no, did I?”

 

Neil looked at Andrew and bit his bottom lip. The way Andrew was leaning over him, holding onto the back of the sofa for support, made him look even stronger than he already did anyway - and that did things to Neil he couldn’t quite explain. Usually it’d make Neil feel uncomfortable to have someone cage him with their body like this, but instead of making him uneasy, looking at Andrew’s broad chest and shoulders right over his face, and his thick arms at either side of his head sent a shiver down Neil’s body that went right to his cock.

 

“Hold on tight,” Andrew said, before he grabbed Neil’s thighs and curled them around his own waist, then wrapped his arms around Neil and pushed himself off the sofa. Neil yelped when he was suddenly lifted off the sofa and found himself in Andrew’s arms instead. He clung to him, arms and legs tightly wound around Andrew.

Now, wasn’t this a completely new experience - being carried like this? Certainly not one he couldn’t get used to, though. There was something appealing about Andrew’s strength, about how easy it seemed for him to lift Neil. And, of course, there was something very appealing about how Andrew grabbed Neil by his ass with both hands to hold him up.

Neil leaned down to kiss Andrew again and they stayed like that for a while, making out in the middle of the living room, until eventually Andrew broke the kiss to navigate through the room.

 

While Andrew was slowly finding his way to the bedroom, Neil kissed a trail down from his temple, across his cheekbones and his jaw, to his neck--

All of a sudden Andrew stopped dead in his tracks and took a sharp breath. Neil pulled back immediately, to check whether he did something wrong. Fortunately, that meant he saw the shudder that went through Andrew. It took only a few seconds for Neil to realise that Andrew very much enjoyed the attention to his neck, and with a grin on his lips, Neil went back to what he was doing before. He kissed and bit and sucked on Andrew’s neck, eliciting small noises and grunts from him. Soon he started walking again, and whenever Neil would suck or bite too hard, he’d grab his butt firmly and grunt a quiet but sharp ‘ _Stop it.’._ Neil wasn’t entirely sure whether he really meant it or not, but he’d rather not find out the hard way, so he just kept to light teasing.

 

The next thing Neil knew was hard wood pressing into his back and Andrew catching his lips with his own, positively snogging him senseless against the stairs of the bunk bed. By that time, Neil was already pretty much breathless - but when Andrew rolled his hips against Neil’s, and his clothed, but suddenly very noticeable, erection dragged along Neil’s own, hard cock, he choked on that little breath he still had left, before stuttering a moan into Andrew’s mouth.

Andrew did it again, and Neil let his head fall back until it hit the stairs with a dull thud. Eyes closed and lips parted, he let out another moan. There was a short pause, followed by a grunt from Andrew, before he rolled his hips yet again and sparks of pleasure had Neil gasping and shuddering. All of this - the touches, the kisses, the pleasure - was like nothing Neil had ever felt before, and it was so addictive, suddenly he understood why his mother forbade it. And why Stuart, despite 'not doing romance’ as he had always put it, had always had someone in his bed, no matter if man or woman or both.

 

Neil was ripped from his blissful state when Andrew swatted his thigh and pulled away.

“I’m not lifting you up on your fucking bunk bed, get up there yourself, Josten.”

After a bit of initial grumbling about the harsh wakeup call, Neil climbed into his bunk. He barely managed to crawl onto the mattress and turn around before Andrew pushed him into the sheets and kissed him with as much fierceness as if they’d die tomorrow.

 

Suddenly there was the pleasure again, the delicious friction of Andrew rolling his hips to give them both what they needed - and only then did Neil realise he had, as soon as Andrew had pressed him into the sheets, spread his thighs for Andrew to fit himself between them. And, oh, how well he fit between them.

With each thrust of Andrew’s hips, Neil’s breath hitched and turned heavy, his heart started racing, his skin became sweaty. Andrew’s hands, clever and quick, teased his skin underneath his shirt and pushed the fabric up and over Neil’s head. He spared the scars all over Neil’s torso only a quick glance, before he started to kiss and nibble at his neck and collarbone, sending new shivers all over Neil’s body.

 

But before Andrew moved any further, Neil tugged at his turtleneck shirt.

“Can I--,” he breathed. Andrew pushed himself up just enough to grab the back of his shirt and pull it over his head. A second later it landed somewhere on the floor next to the bed, just like Neil’s shirt.

Neil’s mouth went dry. Andrew’s usual choice of clothes didn’t hide much, his shirts and pants usually hugged his form quite snugly - but seeing him without his shirt was so much better. Andrew wasn’t slim and lean like an athlete. He didn’t have the sixpack of a men’s health model. Instead, Andrew’s shoulders were broad, his arms thick and his waist wide. Muscles were clearly there, hard and strong under his skin, but not built from protein shakes and just for show. Instead they came from hard work and constant use. Neil was so distracted by Andrew’s body, it took him embarrassingly long to notice the black armbands he was still wearing - despite the fact he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt to begin with. He didn’t comment on it, though, just as Andrew left his scars uncommented.

Instead, Neil slowly raised one hand and touched Andrew’s shoulder. Soon his second hand followed and touched the other shoulder, then they both slowly wandered down.

Neil bit his bottom lip and had his eyes fixed on his own hands, following them along Andrew’s upper body.

Andrew’s pecs were firm under his hands. Touching them sent a shiver through Neil and he couldn’t resist the urge to squeeze them. Andrew, who was surprisingly still while Neil discovered his body, snorted but didn’t stop him. Neil felt Andrew's nipples, the small buds hard and prominent against the thin skin of his palms. He spent more time than necessarily appropriate feeling and squeezing Andrew’s pecs before he moved on, further down to his stomach. The muscles were hard and twitched under Neil’s touch, and Andrew’s skin was soft and warm. Soon enough, Neil’s fingers reached a trail of light blonde hair, that travelled all the way down from Andrew’s belly button until it disappeared beneath the waistband of his underwear. But no matter how compelling the thought of following that trail to where it lead was, Neil’s fingers found their way back to where they started. He wasn’t about to cross the borders Andrew set just some twenty minutes ago.

 

“Are you done?” Andrew asked, seemingly unimpressed by Neil’s expedition of his torso.

 

“No,” Neil answered - and squeezed Andrew’s pecs again. “I’m going to keep doing this all night long.”

 

“Idiot,” Andrew snorted, then swatted Neil’s hands away. Neil grinned, but faltered as soon as Andrew started moving his hips again.

 

Neil felt hot all over. His legs, parted for Andrew as far as he could, started to shake from arousal, his heels dug into the mattress and he fought to keep his eyes open. It was a complete blessing they were alone, because Neil couldn’t hold back his moans even if he wanted to.

It wasn’t long until Neil felt the familiar sensation of an orgasm building at the base of his spine. Andrew’s hot breath coming in pants felt like fire on his skin and Andrew’s hand on his thigh felt like it was burning right through his clothes. There was nothing but Andrew Neil could think of right now, so he held onto his biceps for dear life, dug his fingernails into his skin and squeezed his eyes shut as he moaned Andrew’s name.

 

“Andrew-- ahh, I- Fuck!”

 

Neil came into his pants like a teenager, but he was too high on arousal to care. He couldn’t see Andrew’s face because he had buried it in the crook of Neil’s neck, but going by the little grunts and gasps coming from him, and the way his hips stuttered and then stilled, Andrew followed short.

Neil went almost limp beneath Andrew and only turned his head when the mattress dipped as Andrew fell into the sheets next to him. They were both panting and sweaty, and Neil squirmed a bit from the sticky feeling in his pants - but it was absolutely worth it.

 

There wasn’t much pillowtalk afterwards. Instead, they shared a cigarette at the window, and then another, and then they went to take a shower and wash off the drying cum.

Andrew took his armbands off for the shower. Neil saw, but didn’t comment the scars on his arms; there was nothing to say about them anyway. They were just another sign that Andrew was as human as everyone else, with weaknesses, but even more strength to overcome them.

They washed up quick, but stayed under the spray of hot water way longer. Andrew, after asking Neil ‘yes or no?’, explored the scars on Neil’s body with his fingers and lips. Afterwards, he let Neil come into his mouth. Neil still wasn’t allowed to touch anywhere below Andrew’s hips, and therefore couldn’t return the favour, but he learned rather quickly, that sucking and kissing and biting all along Andrew’s neck and jaw did a fairly good job at helping him get himself off.

 

Andrew did come back to Neil’s bed. Neil had almost thought he’d go back to Matt’s bed to sleep, but instead they spent the night together. There were a couple of inches between them, as much as the small dorm bed would allow, but one of Neil’s hands was on Andrew’s biceps, just lying there and creating a point of contact between them while they slowly drifted off to sleep.

 

***

 

Neil woke up when the mattress dipped, and opened his eyes just as Andrew sat up.

It was a warm autumn morning; rays of warm sunlight were streaming through the blinds, the covers lay crumpled at the end of the bed and Neil slowly turned to his stomach, yawning and stretching his tired muscles.

 

“Good morning,” he mumbled into his pillow sleepily. Squinting up through a mop of unruly auburn curls, Neil could spot Andrew, who was already staring down at him.  

“What?” Neil combed a hand through his hair and pushed it out of his face, and immediately something in Andrew's expression changed. He looked like he just snapped out of deep thought.

 

“Morning,” Andrew grunted, then climbed off the bunk and made his way out of the bedroom.

 

“I want a coffee, too,” Neil called after Andrew. The only answer he got was the bang of the door. Neil just snorted, then turned onto his back again and stared at the ceiling. His thoughts drifted off to the night before, the way Andrew had touched him - and let him touch - and what he had felt. In short: it had been amazing. When he closed his eyes he could still feel Andrew's fingers dig into his hips and taste his mouth on his tongue.

Neil wondered if this had been it, if it was a one-time thing. He had to admit, he’d be disappointed if it was. He liked Andrew, despite what he had thought about him just a couple of days ago. Now that he understood him a bit better, now that Andrew had showed him so much trust in a matter of days and let him know so much of him, and now that _Neil_ had let _Andrew_ know so much about him…. It would be a shame.

 

“Neil!” Andrew shouted for him, and Neil lifted his head to look at the door.

 

“What?”  
  
“If you don’t come here right now I’ll pour your coffee down the drain!”

 

Neil couldn’t stop a grin from forming on his lips. He climbed out of his bed and made his way over to Andrew.

“Coming!” He announced, his naked feet pattering across the floor. He was greeted by Andrew, two mugs of steaming hot coffee in his hands, unimpressed expression on his face.

 

“Why are you grinning like a fucking idiot?” Andrew grumbled as he handed Neil his mug.

 

“I’m just in a good mood,” Neil responded, wrapped both hands around his mug and then leaned forward an inch, in obvious invitation.

Andrew looked at Neil, unimpressed, and took a sip of his coffee.  
“......I fucking hate you,” he said eventually, before taking the invitation.

 

***

 

“Oh. My. God.” Nicky’s jaw dropped and he fell to his knees dramatically. Neil rolled his eyes in exasperation at Nicky’s dramatics and walked past him into the monster’s dorm, adjusting the sleeves of his black long-sleeve shirt.

 

“I can’t believe it took almost a full year and letting you shop with _Andrew_ to learn how _well_ you clean up!” Nicky scrambled back to his feet and followed Neil further into the room.

“By the way, where is Andrew?” Neil asked instead of acknowledging Nicky’s words. He let his eyes wander across the room but couldn’t spot Andrew. If he somehow wormed his way out of having to go to Columbia with them, Neil would-

“He’s already at the car,” Kevin interrupted Neil’s thoughts, “Smoking.”

 

Andrew was leaning against the car when they entered the parking lot and looked up when he realised there was someone coming towards him. His eyes caught on Neil. His expression didn’t betray his thoughts, but his eyes lingered a couple of seconds too long to fool Neil, and he smirked at Andrew knowingly. Andrew didn’t seem amused by that, frowned, annoyed, and flicked the cigarette in Neil’s vague direction before walking around the car.

The car ride to Columbia was comparatively relaxed. Andrew wouldn’t let anyone but himself choose what music they were listening to and sometimes, when Nicky talked a bit _too_ much or Kevin complained about Neil’s and Andrew’s smoking one too many times, he turned up the volume to an almost deafening level - but after a while they got the hint and Nicky resorted to sulking in the backseat, while Kevin just grumbled quiet insults and stared out the window. But apart from that, Neil enjoyed the ride.

They made their way to the house first. They didn’t have much luggage as they would only spend one night there, because they had to be back at Palmetto tomorrow, to celebrate Thanksgiving with Abby and Coach. But nevertheless they did have some bags - most of them filled with alcohol - and then they needed to do some grocery shopping so they’d have something to eat tonight and the next morning. When all of that was done, there was still more than enough time left for pre-drinks.

 

“So, uh…” Nicky looked very uncomfortable on his seat. He was squirming, his eyes constantly darting to Aaron and Kevin, and he was fidgeting with the bottle of beer in his hands. Neil wasn’t too sure he wanted to hear what Nicky was about to say.

To his surprise, it was a legitimate question.

 

“About the bedrooms… Who’s gonna share with whom?”

 

Silence spread across the room and Neil blinked a couple times, surprised he didn’t think of the issue. That _was_ a good question - surprising, considering it was Nicky who asked it.

After a while of this, Andrew sighed and took a sip of his Whiskey.

“How do you usually share the rooms?”

 

“Well,” Nicky started, “Aaron and I take our bedrooms, Kevin takes the couch and Neil… usually sleeps in your bedroom.” Without missing a beat, Andrew shrugged and responded in a completely nonchalant tone.

“So you’ve got your solution right there. I’ve been sharing a bedroom with the idiot for a week now, I might as well do it another night.”

 

The faces of the other three were hilarious. They looked at Andrew like they’ve seen a ghost, while Andrew just took another sip and didn’t seem bothered at all by their very obvious surprise.

 

“Wait… what?” Nicky stammered and looked at Neil, as if he’d give him an answer that makes more sense. But when Neil just stared back at him blankly, Nicky turned back to Andrew.

“That's it? You’ll share your bedroom with Neil, just like that?”

 

“To be fair,” Neil noted, “I've shared _my_ bedroom for a week with him, so I think it's the least he can do.”

 

“Fuck you, Josten. Keep talking and I'll make you sleep outside the front door,” Andrew said without missing a beat and threw Neil an unimpressed look.

Nicky looked like this was the weirdest thing he's ever seen - and to be fair, it might be - but he was clever enough not to comment any further.

They spent a good amount of time drinking - everyone except for Neil - until they decided it was time to leave, so they all hurried into the car and made their way to Eden's Twilight. Nicky went to one of the bouncers to get Neil's VIP parking ticket, and the man - James or John or Jamie, Neil couldn't quite remember - seemed delighted when he saw the second Minyard twin among the group. That was the first time Neil saw this expression on someone's face upon spotting Andrew.

When Neil reached the front door the group was already inside, as usual, and with a quick greeting for Jason or Jerome or Jonathan he pushed through the masses of people and the thick metal doors, inside the nightclub.

Heavy basses and fast beats made his ears ring immediately, and Neil realised with a bit of wonder, that it felt almost comforting to be back. Neil blamed it on the simple fact that, until not even a year ago, he hadn’t thought he’d ever have something resembling a home or just a place to stay at for longer than a couple of months. And now he had the Foxes and Foxtower, and something as mundane as a club him and his friends went to regularly, where he knew the bouncers and barkeepers, suddenly felt like something way bigger.

 

Neil shook the thoughts from his head and looked out for the others instead, and soon enough he spotted them across the room. Apparently they had been able to claim a table and were currently busy collecting enough chairs to sit, while Nicky waved like crazy to catch Neil’s attention.

As soon as he reached them, someone - Andrew - grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the bar. Neil stumbled after him, stuttering a couple of confused curses.

“We’re getting drinks,” Andrew explained when they stopped, then crossed his arms on the bartop and craned his neck to look out for a barkeeper.

 

“Andrew!!” One of them quickly made his way over as soon as he spotted Andrew, a bright grin on his face, white teeth flashing through dark lips. “Oh my God, I haven’t seen you in _ages_!” Roland didn’t even notice Neil at first, but as soon as he did, his face lit up even more. How he did that, Neil had no idea.

 

“Neil, you too! Oh, today must be my lucky day,” he grinned cheerily, “Lookin’ good! How come I’ve never seen that outfit on you before? I’d remember that for sure.”

 

“Hello Roland,” Neil said, “It’s new. Andrew picked it out.”

 

“Oh,” Roland responded, surprise, and then something like realisation on his face, “ _Oh_ , did he now?”

 

Andrew rubbed a hand across his face with a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, before he pretended like Neil and Roland never said anything.

“Drinks,” he said and pointed at the bottles of booze behind Roland.

 

“Charming as always, Andrew,” Roland joked and winked at Andrew, “Coming right away. The usual?” Neil nodded, and Roland turned around to go and grab their usual orders.

 

“So you fucked Roland.” Andrew said it so matter-of-factly, Neil thought he misheard at first.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You fucked Roland,” Andrew repeated. When Neil realised that was actually what Andrew had said, he stammered something, then pressed his lips to a thin line, frowned and eventually gave up trying to find an excuse.

 

“How did you know?”

 

“Because before, he’s only ever been this happy to see me.”

 

“And how does that-- _oh_.” It had taken them exactly 13 minutes for this evening at Eden’s to take a turn Neil hadn’t expected. But really, was it that much of a surprise? Apparently Andrew used to go here a lot with the others, before he went to the Army, even worked here with Nicky and Aaron. And knowing Roland, he probably hit on Andrew as soon as he laid eyes upon him for the first time.

Andrew took a step closer to Neil, and Neil immediately felt like the room temperature had risen a couple degrees. They just looked at each other, until Andrew broke the silence.

“Did you let him fuck you, or did you fuck him?”

 

It was weird; this conversation, this question in particular, shouldn’t send sparks of arousal down Neil’s spine, but the heat in Andrew’s eyes and the rough edge his voice took when he asked this did something to Neil he couldn’t quite explain. Neil licked his lips, and Andrew’s eyes darted down to follow the movement, before he looked back up into his eyes.

The air seemed to become thicker and thicker with each passing second. Neil completely forgot they were surrounded by other people.

 

“I let him fuck me.” Andrew opened his mouth, but Neil beat him to it. “A couple of months ago, only that one time. In the staffroom. Over the back of the couch.”

Andrew swallowed visibly and his jaw worked as he clenched his teeth and stared Neil down. Soon Neil realised Andrew’s pupils were blown wide. Was he aroused? Did the thought of Neil, bent over that couch and Roland balls deep inside his arse, turn Andrew on? Or was it just the thought of Neil bent over, jeans and underwear somewhere around his ankles, panting and begging for more, that had him like this?

 

“Can you eyefuck somewhere else, please? It’s distracting,” Roland said as he pushed the tray with their drinks over the counter, and suddenly Neil snapped back into reality. He took a hurried step back, cheeks burning, and his back hit the bar.

 

“Man, I’d pay good money to be a fly on your bedroom wall. I’d really like to see you two fuck, that must be the hottest thing ever,” Roland sighed dreamily and rested his chin on one of his hands.

  
“Shut the fuck up, Roland,” Andrew retorted and grabbed the tray. With ease that came from years of waiting tables, he lifted it over his head and left, not waiting for Neil to follow.

 

“Go get him, tiger!” Roland called after Neil with a big, amused grin on his face.

 

“Fuck off, Roland,” Neil shouted back.

 

***

 

After that, well, Neil would be lying if he said it didn't go downhill from there.

 

Usually Neil would get the drinks, they'd settle down at their table and he’d have about half an hour before he'd have to go back to grab more. He'd have one, maybe two with them, watch as Kevin apparently tried to drink enough to erase every last rule of exy from his brain (it didn't work, he could still remember the rules when he couldn't even tell his own name without slurring the syllables), and after about the second or third round of drinks Nicky and Aaron would leave Kevin and Neil, and go to the dancefloor.  

 

This time, however it was a whole ten minutes before Neil and Andrew went back for more drinks, despite the extra drinks on their tray. Neil had have two shots already, but the amount Andrew drank was impressive - not to say concerning. So they went back, grabbed another tray full and returned to the others quickly.

Of course it wasn't Neil's brightest moment when he decided he'd drink more, tonight of all nights. And of course he could've seen it coming - but that didn't mean he wasn't still surprised when an hour into the night, he swayed to the right when he got up from his seat.

Nicky seemed delighted, but grabbed Neil's wrist and pulled him back down onto his seat.

“I think Aaron better goes and grabs the next drinks with Andrew,” he giggled. Neil couldn't think of one good reason why Aaron shouldn't do that, so he agreed with a nod and a “Yeah”. His tongue felt lazy when he spoke the word, almost as if Neil spoke too fast for it to catch up with.

As soon as the twins were on their way, Nicky turned back to Neil.

“I can't believe you're in such a party mood tonight, Neil!”

Neil just shrugged, but when he turned his eyes to Kevin, he was met with not half as much enthusiasm. Instead, Kevin squinted at him suspiciously, and Neil felt like he saw right through him - but there was no way for Kevin to know Neil's reasons to drink tonight. To know about the chaos and confusion going on inside Neil's head that he tried to silence for a couple of hours. And maybe, if he was completely honest with himself, he tried to give himself a bit of liquid courage for whatever the night might bring, too.

 

Once they were done with the next round of drinks, Nicky jumped off his seat.

“Let’s go dance!” He said to all of them, but everyone knew Aaron would be the only one of them to react - Kevin wasn’t drunk enough yet.

Except Neil got off his seat and went to Nicky’s side. Even _Nicky_ looked confused as he stared down at Neil.

 

“Neil? Are you feeling alright?” Nicky pushed his hand under Neil’s mop of curls, onto his forehead, to dramatically feel his temperature, “Are you… _Enjoying your time_?” Neil swatted his hand away and threw him an unimpressed stare.

 

“Can you even dance?” Aaron asked sceptically. He got up from his seat and gave Neil a once-over that said he couldn’t imagine him looking like anything but a stranded fish on the dancefloor. “I don’t want anyone associating me with you, when you look like you’re having a seizure on the dancefloor.”

Neil just flipped him off in response, then started off towards the floor. When he reached the end of the stairs and the beginning of the crowd, someone grabbed his wrist. It was Nicky’s grinning face that Neil looked into when he turned around. Nicky had two little packs in his hand that looked like sugar, but had something entirely different in them. He offered one to Neil, but Neil shook his head. It was bad enough he was drunk, he wouldn’t top it off with crackerdust. Nicky shrugged and dumped the contents of both packs in his mouth. Then he pushed past Neil, but held onto his wrist and pulled him into the masses of people. Aaron was right behind them. When he found a place he deemed perfect, Nicky stopped and turned back to Neil. He shouted something Neil couldn’t hear over the heavy basses pulsing through his whole body, but judging by the way Nicky was grinning at him he assumed it was encouragement to start dancing.

Nicky didn’t wait for Neil but started to move his body rhythmically - and that was when Neil realised he’d never seen Nicky, or Aaron for that matter, dance, because he usually stayed behind with Kevin. As expected, Nicky danced as if he was trying to seduce a lover - except Erik was at the other end of the world, and Nicky hadn’t yet found someone to flirt with for the night. He was still holding onto Neil, and it was absolutely packed on the dancefloor, but Neil still turned around as much as he could to take a look at Aaron. Aaron was still close, but had turned his back to Neil and was dancing to himself. His movements weren’t as smooth as Nicky’s, but he wasn’t a bad dancer, as far as Neil could judge. Looking at the back of Aaron’s blond head reminded Neil of someone else, and his eyes wandered up to the gallery, where the bar and the tables were. And, really, Andrew was there; arms crossed on the railing, glass of whiskey dangling from his fingers and eyes fixed on the dancefloor. Neil didn’t know if Andrew could see them between all the other people, but he still raised his free hand to salute him. Surprisingly, Andrew responded - by flipping Neil off.

Neil grinned and shrugged it off. He took an elbow to the spine and was remembered of where he was and what he was supposed to do, so Neil took a deep breath, looked around himself once more and then started to move to the beat.

 

The song was fast and the bass heavy, Neil could feel every beat in his bones and his chest. He started by swaying his hips from side to side, carefully and experimentally. It had been ages since he last danced, but he remembered it to be fun.

Nicky squeezed his wrist and directed his attention back to him. Nicky grinned approvingly and pulled Neil closer to him, until their thighs were almost touching.

 

“Come on, Neil,” he heard Nicky shout faintly, “Show those jeans off, they and your ass deserve it!”

Neil’s first instinct was to roll his eyes and push Nicky away, but his alcohol-fogged mind decided to go with it instead. So, with the next beat drop, Neil pushed his feet against the floor and started to move without thinking about it too much. His hips swayed smoothly, as if the rhythm itself lead them. Nicky’s face lit up in a matter of moments and he hollered encouragement and approval, but Neil barely heard him.

For someone who spent so much time of his life avoiding to turn off his head like Neil it was insanely difficult to do so, but it also gave him a much needed break, and made him feel as light as never before. His body moved on its own, legs and hips rocking to the beat, one hand still in Nicky’s loose grip, the other buried in his own curls and pushing them out of his face. Lost in the moment, Neil bit his bottom lip and just closed his eyes. Slowly he blocked out everyone else around him and lost himself in the song. Why had he never done this before? It was incredibly fun and freeing.

Eventually Neil’s thoughts drifted off to Andrew, watching him from the gallery - or maybe he wasn’t, Neil couldn’t know - and his movements slowed down a bit, went from matching the hard, fast beat of the music to more sensual movements.

 

Neil hoped Andrew was still watching. Thinking about his eyes on Neil, watching his every move, made him shudder. Would he like what he saw? He chose the outfit, and had already commented on Neil’s appearance, but what would he say about Neil’s dancing? Would he like that, too?

Neil turned his head to check whether Andrew was still watching or not - and he was. Neil felt an excited flutter in his chest and bit his lip a bit harder to stop a light-hearted laugh he could feel bubbling up. Neil couldn’t see Andrew’s expression, but as soon as he noticed Neil staring back at him, he pushed himself off the railing and stomped off.

Neil, amused and delighted by Andrew’s reaction, turned back to Nicky and went back to dancing.

 

Neil lost track of time at some point, so when him, Nicky and Aaron came back to the table and found Kevin dead drunk, sleeping with his arms crossed on the table and his head pillowed on them, and Andrew sitting cross-legged opposite from him on the couch, drink in hand and very unimpressed expression on his face, he was quite surprised.

 

“You should have _seen_ Neil!” Nicky shouted immediately, fell into the seat next to Kevin - who groaned in response and buried his face even deeper in his arms - and threw his arms in the air. “It was amazing! The way this boy can move his ass - holy shit!” Aaron was noticeably quiet, which Neil took as the bigger compliment.

 

They had a couple more drinks and by the time they left Eden’s, Neil had to try really hard so he wouldn’t sway on his way out. He was impressed by how sober Andrew still seemed - or maybe Neil just thought that because he was so drunk himself. Neil was trying very hard to remember the right direction to the taxis, when suddenly Andrew put his hand right in his face.

 

“What?” Neil slurred.

 

“Keys.”

 

“Keys?”  


“Car keys,” Andrew specified annoyed.

 

“What’d’ya wanna do with my car keys?” Neil frowned, but was already searching his pockets and let the key ring fall into Andrew’s waiting palm as soon as he found it.

 

“You sure as fuck aren’t gonna drive, are you?”

 

“You drank, too!” Neil argued and went after Andrew as fast as he could - which wasn’t very fast, but luckily Andrew was busy lighting a cigarette.

 

“Not enough to be unable to drive.” Andrew looked so sure of it, Neil’s drunk mind just believed him without further argument. Only when they were in the car, Andrew adjusting everything on the driver’s side, and Neil sunk deep into the seat next to him, did he think about how many drinks Andrew had had.

For the first couple of rounds he had had a lot, actually. Neil didn’t know how much he had while they had been dancing, but judging by the state Kevin had been in, compared to how collected Andrew seemed, Neil assumed he didn’t have many more drinks after that. Maybe he really was right and was still able to drive. Neil sure hoped he was, or they’d all die tonight, which really wasn’t the way he wanted to go.

 

“Hey,” Neil turned his head to look at Andrew. When he didn’t react, he tried to hit him, but ended up clumsily patting Andrew’s hand on the gear stick. “Hey. Hey, ‘drew.”

 

“What did you just call me?” Andrew blinked at Neil, looking genuinely dumbfounded.

 

“Please don’t kill us, m’kay?”

 

“Call me Drew again and I will.”

 

Neil just yawned, then chuckled. All of a sudden, his eyelids felt unbelievably heavy and he fought to keep them open. The cozy, heated seats weren’t any help with that. The other three were already asleep in the back by the time they made it off the parking lot. At the first red light, Neil lost the fight against his eyelids. He didn’t realise his hand was still warm and heavy on top of Andrew’s.

 

***

 

He woke up again from the sound of a car door banging shut, followed by voices Neil took way too long to recognise.

 

“Ouch! Andrew, why’d you hit me?” Nicky whined, but he never got an answer.

Neil pushed himself up in the seat and rubbed his tired eyes. He jumped a bit when his door was opened from outside and cold air washed over him.

“Ah. You’re up. Good. Get out and in the house,” Andrew said and did a step away to give Neil enough space to leave the car. He was a bit unsteady on his legs, drunk and his head still fogged from his nap, but he eventually managed to get out without falling over.

By the time everyone was put to bed - especially Kevin - and Neil and Andrew made it to their own bedroom, Neil felt a lot better again.

 

Excitement, mixed with nerves and the uneasy feeling of uncertainty lay heavy on Neil’s stomach and made it a bit harder to breathe. Andrew was busy with his bag, so Neil decided to take matters into his own hands and not waste his time by being unnecessarily hesitant - after all it was clear how this would end. Wasn’t it? Them, sharing the room for the night. The bed, even, after what had happened last night. The way Andrew had looked at him when he first saw him in his outfit tonight, how Neil had danced while Andrew watched - it all came together in one final conclusion.

Neil grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it off over his head, then let it fall to the floor carelessly. Andrew was still pointedly ignoring him, so Neil began to work on his belt and his jeans. He opened the zipper slowly, and hooked his thumbs under the waistband.

Andrew grabbed the neck of his own shirt and took it off, so Neil pushed his jeans down to his ankles. When Andrew took his armbands off, Neil kicked his jeans off and hurried over to the bed. From the corner of his eyes he saw Andrew turning to watch him, so he hurried to get on top of the bed on hands and knees and slowly crawled across, until he reached the very middle. Neil let himself sink into the sheets on his stomach. He pushed his hips up a bit, presenting his butt, and threw a glance over his shoulder at Andrew.

 

But instead of arousal, Neil saw anger in Andrew’s face.

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Andrew’s hands were tightly curled to fists. Startled, Neil sat up.

 

“I-- uh. I thought-”

 

“You thought _what_? That I’d fuck you?” Andrew stalked towards the bed, and Neil had to resist the urge to scramble all the way to the headboard to get as much space as possible between them. Luckily Andrew stopped at the foot of the bed.

 

“I- I--.....Yeah? I mean- we-....Yesterday- a-and…?” Neil heard his own voice shake from confusion and fear. Not necessarily fear of Andrew turning violent - though he had to admit that Andrew’s stance was intimidating - but fear of irrevocably fucking up by crossing too many of Andrew’s borders. Andrew whipped his head around, frantically looking for something in the room and eventually ended up ripping Neil’s backpack open and rummaging through it. Before Neil could ask what he was doing, he pulled something from it and threw it in Neil’s face.

 

“Put them on,” Andrew growled.

Neil unfolded the clothes and realised Andrew had thrown his sleep clothes at him.

“Put them on!”

Quickly, Neil climbed off the bed and put his sweatpants and worn-out shirt on. In his hurry he got stuck in his pants twice before he was able to push both legs inside and pull them all the way up. He still didn’t understand, though. Was it something Neil had done? Did he misread the signs and it had been a one-time-thing for Andrew after all? Confused and distraught, Neil looked at Andrew, who was still staring him down with hard eyes.

 

“Andrew,” Neil said, quiet and shaken.

 

Andrew stayed silent for what felt like forever. He was clenching and unclenching his fists and didn’t move an inch from where he was standing.

“You’re drunk,” he said, eventually. It confused Neil even more.

 

“Yes,” he just said, because he didn’t know what else to say. Andrew was right, he was drunk, but he did not understand what that had to do with anything.

 

“I’m not fucking you when you’re drunk.”

 

Suddenly it hit Neil like a brickwall.

  
“Andrew--” His voice broke off and his heart sank when Neil realised what Andrew was implying. “No. No, no, don’t even think that. It’s not like _that_. I’m drunk, but I know what-”

 

“What you want? What you’re saying? I don’t care what you think you know. You’re piss-drunk. I only take the word of a sober person.” Andrew turned his back to Neil and walked towards the door. Neil started to follow him - if Andrew didn’t want to share the bed with him anymore he’d understand, but it was his own fault, so he’d leave the bed to Andrew.

But instead of leaving, Andrew just turned off the light.

“Go to bed,” he said. Neil hesitated.

 

“Are you coming, too?”  
  
“Yes. Where else would I stay, you think I’m going to cuddle up with Kevin on the couch? Now go.”

 

Neil did as he was told and climbed back into the bed and straight under the covers. When they were both settled, silence fell over the room and only their breaths were heard. No one said anything for a while.

 

“Drew?” Neil whispered eventually, his words still slurred and syllables still being dropped.

 

“I said stop calling me that, idiot.” Andrew whispered back, but without any heat in his voice.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Shut up.” Andrew put a hand in Neil’s face and pushed it away when he apologised. Neil chuckled.

Ten minutes later, Neil was fast asleep, warm and cozy under the blanket and his head resting on Andrew’s arm.

 

***

 

“Neil. Get up.”

 

Neil groaned; his head was pounding and his stomach turned the second he woke up. Who was so cruel to wake him in the middle of the night?

 

“Get up,” Andrew said and shook Neil roughly, “You've got two hours to eat and get ready.”

 

Neil lifted his head, frowning, and let it fall back immediately with a pained moan when the light from the window felt like 1000 little needles in his eyes and his head.

“What time is it?” He asked, voice still sleep rough and words slurred. He didn't know whether it was because be was so tired or still drunk.

 

“Noon,” Andrew replied and immediately Neil's head shot up again.

 

“What?”

 

“Yes. Now get up, I have to wake up two more fucking children.”

 

Andrew left him alone after that and it took Neil another ten minutes before he could bear leaving bed.

When he came to the kitchen, naked feet dragging across the floor, Kevin was already sitting at the table, looking as fresh as a daisy, drinking coffee and reading a local newspaper. A second, already empty mug, sat opposite Kevin. Probably Andrew's.

Neil all but fell into one of the chairs and put his head down onto the table.

 

“I don't know how you do it.”

 

Kevin looked up from his newspaper, raised an eyebrow and looked at Neil questioningly.

“Do what?”

 

“Maintain a drinking problem, it must be exhausting.”

 

Kevin just huffed exasperatedly and shook his newspaper out before he went back to reading.

“You're even more of a lovely person when you're hungover, splendid,” he said ironically.

 

Neil was glad to see that Nicky and Aaron didn't seem to feel much better than him. He could only make himself drink one cup of coffee as breakfast, in fear he'd just vomit any food right back onto the table.

Two hours later they packed their things and made their way to the car, and Neil felt only slightly better. So when Andrew held out his hand again, Neil didn't hesitate to put his keys in his palm and sit in the passenger seat instead.

 

“Hey, wait, why can Andrew drive your car and I can't?” Nicky protested, albeit weakly.

 

“Because I don't trust you not to drive us all to death in 0.2 seconds,” Neil responded. Aaron snorted.

 

Neil slept for most of the ride back to Palmetto, and only woke up during the last 80 miles. He refused the cigarette Andrew offered and threw a glance at the backseat - everyone was asleep.

“Must've been a boring ride,” Neil said as he rubbed his eyes and then his temples.

 

“I'd call it relaxing,” Andrew said. “Sober again?”

 

“Yeah, I think so.” The landscape outside was a blur as they rushed over the highway. If they avoided major traffic for the last part of their journey, they'd have about two hours left at Foxtower to get ready before they were supposed to be at Abby's place.

 

After a while of silence, Neil turned his head to look at Andrew, then lifted a hand and hovered it over Andrew's on the gear stick.

“Hey… Drew?” Andrew huffed, annoyed, but didn't say anything. Neil lifted Andrew's middle finger an inch off the stick, let it drop again, and did the same to his forefinger. Then he put his hand on top Andrew's.

“You’re going back to your base tomorrow, right?”

 

“Hmmh.” Andrew hummed confirmation. Neil saw him turn his head and look at Neil for a second, before he looked back out the windshield.

Neil rubbed his fingertips gently over the back of Andrew’s fingers and stared at their hands thoughtfully. He didn’t know what this between them was, and Neil didn’t feel like they were ready to talk about that yet, but his stomach still sank when he thought about the possibility that, once Andrew was gone, this - whatever this was - would be over. He wanted to ask, but felt stupid.

Andrew let him sit in silence and ponder over his possibilities only for a couple of minutes, before he answered Neil’s unspoken question with one simple gesture. He turned his hand on the gear stick palm up, and let Neil’s fingers slip between his own.

“You’re an idiot,” he sighed, but for once he didn’t sound annoyed or angry when he said this. Neil squeezed Andrew’s hand, turned his head to rest his chin on his palm and looked out the window, hiding a smile behind his hand.

 

***

 

Neil took a long shower once they were back at the dorm. When he came out of the bathroom, Andrew wasn’t anywhere to be seen, so Neil assumed he was with the others. He had only managed to dress halfway when he heard the front door being unlocked. Quickly Neil tugged his shirt over his head and left the bedroom, still pulling it all the way down with one hand and adjusting the hem.

 

Neil and Andrew spent one hour of their time at Foxtower just lounging around on the couch, watching silly shows and occasionally making out.

Neil didn’t want to go to Abby’s, but he didn’t have a say in the matter, so he found himself in front of her house at 6pm sharp. As per usual her front door was unlocked and the five let themselves in, but announced their arrival by shouting, “Hello, Abby!” through the house.

 

“Hello, boys!” Abby came from the kitchen, a big smile on her face, and she hugged each of them tightly, except Andrew who just threw her one unimpressed glance and she backed off, though her smile didn’t falter.

“I hope you’re hungry,” she said, already making her way back to the kitchen, followed by all five of them, “I think David and I went a bit overboard with the food, but we have to feed four athletes and a soldier after all.” The kitchen was scattered with half cooked foods and used dishes, and in midst of the chaos Coach Wymack was elbow-deep inside a turkey.

 

“Kinky,” Nicky commented.

 

“Shut up, Hemmick, and hand me the bowl over there,” Wymack huffed in annoyance.

Nicky, for once, did as he was told and handed Wymack the bowl with the turkey stuffing.

Abby gave a task to everyone. Neil and Kevin ended up peeling and cutting potatoes together. They were sitting outside on the patio with a cold soda each and a whole bucket full of potatoes. Nicky was cutting vegetables in the kitchen, and the twins were busy rearranging most of the living room to create enough sitting space for seven people.

 

Kevin and Neil worked in comfortable silence most of the time. They didn't talk much in general, and when they did it was usually Exy related - either when they were discussing strategies or yelling at each other on the Court. Which was why people were usually pretty surprised, when they heard Neil and Kevin actually considered each other pretty much their closest friend. But then again, they didn't know what they talked about in private, and the dark secrets they knew about each other.

 

“So…” Kevin said, leaving enough of a break between the word and the rest of his sentence to make Neil pause and look up from the potato he was cutting. “Andrew, huh?”

Neil frowned.

“What about him?’

 

“I didn't know Andrew liked men, I was surprised about that, I have to admit.”

 

Suddenly Neil was very glad he had already stopped cutting the potatoes, or he might have cut off a finger right about now. Silently, Neil stared at Kevin for a second too long, licked his lips and went back to cutting in an attempt to act natural. Not a good attempt, but an attempt.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

 

Kevin just snorted in amusement, not at all convinced by Neil's bad act.

“Oh come on, Neil. I know you. First of all you can't keep yourself from running your mouth on people, and Andrew's tolerance for people giving him shit is _very_ low. And still, you're alive and Andrew even tolerates you.”

Kevin looked at him and was waiting for a response, but Neil pointedly ignored him.

“Andrew won't even let anyone touch him, and suddenly he's fine with _sharing a bed with you?_ Really?”

 

“He has his reasons for not wanting to be touched.”

 

“Oh, does he? Now you sound like Renee,” Kevin responded unimpressed, “Besides, you seem to be the only one knowing his reasons.”

Neil put the knife down with more force than necessary and gave Kevin a look, that would've made anyone else flinch. Kevin just sat still, unimpressed and unworried by his temper. One, because he knew it was coming, he had been provoking Neil for more than long enough. Two, because he knew Neil would never hurt him.

 

“He’s not as bad as you all make him out to be, you know.”

 

Suddenly, the expression in Kevin’s face changed. His smug look faded and made room for shock and disbelief.

“Oh God,” he whispered, staring at Neil wide-eyed, “This is more serious than I thought. This isn’t just a fuck, is it? You actually _like_ him. You like Andrew.”

 

“Shut up,” Neil sputtered, staring back at Kevin in equal shock, “I don’t _like_ him, don’t be stupid.”

 

“Of course you do. Oh my God, Neil.”

 

“Shut up before someone hears you talking all this nonsense!” Neil hissed. The last thing Neil could use right now was Nicky hearing Kevin say things like that and making it the number one topic at the dinner table.

 

“Neil, please, you and I both already know you’re going to end up heartbroken. Don’t do this.” Kevin’s voice was urgent. He leaned over so he was closer to Neil and looked at him seriously. “Andrew doesn’t do emotions, let alone love-”

 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kevin, will you stop it?” Okay, that was more than Neil could take. Who was talking about _love_? Neil wasn’t even sure he was capable of feeling that emotion - Kevin of all people should know that.

“Listen, there’s nothing to be heartbroken about, and I’m sure as fuck not _in love_ with anyone, you hear me?! And I don’t want to hear another word about this or I’ll leave you alone with all of these fucking potatoes.”

Kevin immediately snapped his mouth shut. Lips pressed to a thin line he frowned at Neil. It was three seconds before he spoke again.

 

“I’m just saying-”

 

“Ah.” Neil held a warning finger up, right in Kevin’s face.

 

“Neil, listen-”

 

“Ah!”

 

“But--”

 

“Shhh…” He pressed said finger to Kevin’s lips to shut him up. Kevin slapped his hand away, obviously irritated, but at least he sat back and stayed silent.

They finished the rest of the potatoes in silence and brought the prepared vegetables to the kitchen, where dinner preparations were in full swing. Surprisingly, it was Andrew who was helping Abby with the cooking, while Nicky and Wymack were busy decorating the living room, and Aaron set up the table.

 

“Ah, there are my potatoes.” Abby went to take the pot from Neil and place it on the stove.

 

“That’s not a nice name to call them, Abby. They’re called Kevin and Neil,” Andrew deadpanned, and made Abby laugh out loud, though she immediately tried to hide her amusement behind her hand.

“Sorry, boys,” she giggled. Once the potatoes were on the stove, Abby shooed Kevin and Neil back out of the kitchen, assuring them Andrew was enough help for whatever preparations were left to do.

 

A couple of hours later, the table was filled with tons of food. Neil didn’t know how they were supposed to eat even half of this, but the others seemed confident.

Nicky, Abby and Wymack talked most of the time. Kevin and Aaron would chime in every now and then, and Neil answered when talked to directly. Andrew was focused on his food and didn’t show much interest in the conversation at all. Nicky tried asking him a question twice, both times Andrew had answered with the shortest answer possible and ignored any follow-up questions, so he gave up.

With the food they had lots of drinks, and Neil really wondered how they could all stomach it again already - he kept to his soda. Andrew threw him a knowing glance, and Neil could see a grin tug at the corner of his mouth. Of course he’d think it was funny.

 

“Hey. Hey, Neil!” Nicky pushed a spoonful of potato mash into his mouth, before he proceeded to gesticulate with said spoon and talk with his mouth half full. “What’s your favourite food for Thanksgiving?”

Neil opened his mouth to answer, stopped, closed it again and then took a long look at the table. A question like this was awfully hard to answer, when you didn’t have a favourite Thanksgiving food. While they were on the run, Neil and his mother didn’t really have the time to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas or birthdays. But instead of saying that, Neil settled for a half-truth.  
“I don’t know. We didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. My mother was british and my father didn’t place much value on traditions like that.”

 

Nicky’s fork almost fell into his potato mash and it became very quiet all of a sudden. Even Wymack looked somewhat scandalised.

 

“Wait. What do you mean you didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving?” Nicky said.

 

“It means exactly that,” Neil answered, frowning, “Why are you all staring at me like that? I told you, my mother was british.”

 

“So… This is your first proper Thanksgiving?” Abby asked. Neil nodded. She started to smile, her warm and motherly smile that would make shivers run down Neil’s spine when he first became a Fox, but now it just caused a warm, pleasant feeling inside his stomach and made him feel safe. “Well, I’m just glad you can spend your first Thanksgiving with family, then.”

 

Nicky grinned and nodded, Kevin didn’t react much at all and the twins just rolled their eyes, then everyone went back to their food. Except Neil. He stared at Abby, fork in his hand completely forgotten, and her words echoed in his head.

 

_Family._

 

Neil’s eyes roamed across the table. He had considered the Foxes the closest thing to a family he ever had and ever will have. It wasn’t a new thought. They were there for him, he spent most of his days with them and he had little interest in socialising with other people.

But the thought that they’d look at him and feel similar - somehow, it never crossed his mind. He never thought they’d consider _him_ part of their family. Even Aaron hadn’t protested, when Abby had called him that.

 

Neil startled and pulled his leg back when someone kicked him beneath the table. He turned his head and looked straight into Andrew’s face, who was eyeing him sceptically.

When they locked eyes, Neil’s stomach felt weird all of a sudden. After just a week, Andrew was able to make Neil feel like no one else had ever before, pushing his buttons -  buttons Neil never knew he had - just right, remembering every spot that’d make Neil squirm and gasp and moan as if he had drawn a map of Neil’s body in his mind.

Staring at Andrew for too long was never a good idea, but especially not when Kevin was sitting right next to them, after trying to tell Neil he felt anything but lust for Andrew.

Kevin noticed them staring at each other, of course, and cleared his throat loudly, shaking Neil from his thoughts. When Neil faced him, Kevin’s eyes said ‘I fucking told you so’.

 

“Problem, Kevin?” Andrew said, and both Kevin and Neil - who were busy having a non-verbal argument - turned their attention on him instead.

 

“No.” Kevin said. His eyes were serious when he looked at Andrew. “Not yet.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow, part amused, part intrigued.

 

“Kevin…” Neil really didn’t want this interaction to continue. By now they had attracted everyone’s attention and the other conversations at the table died down. But, sadly, Kevin didn’t listen to the warning - no, pleading - tone in Neil’s voice.

“Am I going to have one, Andrew?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know, _Kevin_ , will you?”

 

“What the fuck is happening?” Nicky whispered. Aaron shrugged.

 

Kevin and Andrew stared each other down across the table, while Neil sat between them, wishing for death’s sweet embrace. Or for the floor to open and swallow him whole - either would be fine with him right about now.

 

“Abby, the potatoes are really good,” Neil tried to divert the conversation back to something, anything, else than _this_.

 

“Huh? Oh. Thank you, Neil,” Abby said after a second of confused silence.

 

“Say, Kevin,” Andrew’s voice was cheerful and Neil almost whined in frustration. “Have you ever heard of minding your own fucking business? You should try to keep your fingers out of other people’s business.” Kevin squinted at Andrew, visibly getting irritated with him. Andrew knew that exactly, and just started to grin even wider to piss of Kevin off more.

 

“Yeah, you’re right. And maybe _you_ should try keeping your fingers out of other people’s pa-”

 

“Okay! Right! It’s such a nice dinner we shouldn’t spoil that, should we, Kevin?” Why on earth Kevin suddenly developed such a strong defensive streak was beyond Neil, and he’d appreciate it in every other situation, he really would, but this was nothing but embarrassing, and Neil wasn’t about to let everyone know about him and Andrew. Andrew seemed to find all of this extremely funny, going by his expression, while Kevin looked like he was about to go off on him.

 

“Can someone explain what the fuck is going on?” It was the first time Wymack commented on their weird behaviour, but everyone at the table looked like they had the same question on their mind.

 

“Nothing, Coach,” Neil said quickly.

  
“Yeah. Nothing at all,” Andrew agreed in the most cheerful way Neil had heard him talking since he met him. Wymack, not convinced by their words, looked at Kevin.

Kevin’s jaw worked as he considered Andrew and Neil and thought about what to tell Coach. If there was a God, Neil really hoped he would make Kevin shut up.

 

“....Nothing.” Kevin said eventually and put a piece of turkey into his mouth.

Neil felt like it was Christmas and his birthday at the same time.

 

The rest of their dinner went on without any more incidents. They cleared off the table, put all leftovers into boxes and went back to the living room for a couple of board games Abby insisted on playing. Neil actually enjoyed some of them, though that was mostly because he enjoyed the company he was in. Just for tonight, he could act as if he was just a normal boy, celebrating Thanksgiving with his family.

Of course there was more alcohol involved, and by the end of the third game Kevin was so drunk he couldn’t read the numbers on his dices anymore. That was the Neil’s cue, telling him Kevin had enough. They left the others to play another game, even Andrew seemed to enjoy himself at least a bit, while Neil helped Kevin make his way into the living room. Neil had one arm wrapped around Kevin’s waist, and Kevin’s arm was slung around Neil’s shoulders, but because he was so much taller than Neil but a lot less steady on his legs, he was half-leaning on him.

 

“You’re heavy, you know that?” With a loud sigh Kevin fell into the soft sofa cushions, ignoring Neil’s remark.

 

“C’mere,” Kevin demanded, patting the seat next to himself, words slurred together to an almost unintelligible mash.

 

“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere,” Neil said and did as Kevin asked. “Someone has to watch you or you’ll choke on your own vomit one of these days.”

 

“Rude,” Kevin said, but was too drunk to sound genuinely offended.

 

After that, they fell into a comfortable silence. Neil found the remote for the TV after a couple of minutes and started to zap through the channels until he settled on an old movie he had already seen with the other Foxes once, but didn’t mind watching again.

It was a nice change to their last week, to spend some time with Kevin in peace and quiet, watching a movie and Kevin slowly nodding off next to him. It was something Neil was used to, something he knew how to handle. Even when after a while Kevin’s head hit his shoulder, Neil just paid him a quick glance before he kept watching his movie, convinced Kevin dozed off and was sleeping off the alcohol. They’d make their way back to Foxtower soon, but until then it’d be good when Kevin would nap. At least he wouldn’t drink more then.

 

Neil put his feet up on the small coffee table and crossed his arms. Kevin was heavy against his side and his hair tickled Neil’s neck, but Neil just leaned his head against Kevin’s. The first time Nicky had seen them sitting somewhat like this, with Kevin leaning his back against Neil’s shoulder while reading a book for his history class, and Neil watching a show on Netflix, he had jokingly accused them of having an affair.

 

The longer Neil spent with the Foxes, the more he got used to bodily contact and soon realised how touch starved he was. With his mother there had hardly been any gentle touches or kisses. Everything she had had were hard hands, harsh words and orders for him to follow. So now he relished every form of contact he got from his friends. He didn’t mind the comments about his sexuality, he was, after all, not straight, and Neil didn’t see the difference between Dan or Matt pulling him into a tight embrace - even though he had never mentioned that to them. Everything Neil cared about was the warm, pleasant feeling that these touches triggered.

Renee and Dan liked to kiss him on the forehead. Neil would close his eyes and concentrate on the soft touch of their lips on his skin and their gentle hands on his cheeks, holding his face still. Allison would constantly comb her fingers through his curls and cut his hair for him. She made him make and use face masks with her, sometimes even painted his nails. And both Dan and Matt were very affectionate people. Where Kevin would give him a clap to the shoulder, those two would hug him tightly. Dan gave the best bear hugs and compliments. Meanwhile Matt was so much taller than Neil, when he embraced Neil really tightly, Neil could sink so deep into the hug that he’d feel like he was shielded from the rest of the world. Matt’s hugs especially helped with bad episodes of Neil’s anxiety. And when Matt was really excited, he sometimes lifted Neil off his feet.

Aaron, of course, wasn’t very affectionate towards Neil. He wasn’t affectionate at all towards him, to be precise. But he did tolerate him, which Neil took as some sort of success. Nicky on the other hand was just as open as the others. He hugged Neil, pulled him close, and visibly cared for him. Sometimes Nicky went a bit overboard, but Neil knew he was just trying to be a good friend.

 

“Hey, Neil.” Kevin’s voice was so unexpected, Neil flinched violently and almost kicked a vase off the coffee table.

  
“Jesus fuck, Kevin,” he breathed, heart racing like he just ran a marathon. “I thought you were sleeping?”

 

“As you can tell, I'm not.” The sass in Kevin's voice woke the desire to push him off his shoulder in Neil, but he held himself back. For now.

“What do you want?” He asked instead.

Kevin was quiet for a while and for a moment Neil thought he actually fell asleep this time, but then noticed Kevin's fingers fidgeting with the sleeve of his sweater.

“Kevin?”

 

“Do you…. Really think we can beat the Ravens in championship?” Kevin's voice was quiet and unsure. The alcohol basically got rid of Kevin's filters and instead of the self-assured, arrogant Exy star, everything that was left was the real Kevin Day. The anxiety-ridden, insomniac boy with a drinking problem and enough self-doubts for three lifetimes.

 

“Yes. I do.” Neil's voice was noticeably more certain. He was less drunk, too, but even when Kevin was sober, he was the more sceptical one about their success. “I really think we can do it. It's not going to be easy, but we've become a real threat to the Ravens and soon enough they'll realise that as well.”

 

Kevin didn't say anything after that, so Neil assumed the answers had given him some peace of mind - at least for a short while.

It was another hour before Nicky came to the living room to tell them they were about to leave. Neil turned off the TV, woke up Kevin - who fell asleep rather quickly after their short talk - and went to say goodbye to Wymack and Abby.

 

“Thank you,” Neil said, and Abby hugged him tightly.

 

“Next year we're going to try a new recipe for the turkey,” she told him with a smile, and gently kissed his cheek.

 

“I'm looking forward to it,” Neil said, and it wasn't a lie.

 

The way back was quiet and everyone went to their rooms right away. Nicky half-carried Kevin into their dorm, so Neil could go to his own with Andrew without a detour.

He was glad to be back, even though it had been a nice evening. Except maybe for the part where Kevin embarrassed him in front of Andrew, and almost everyone else. But now he was tired after a long night with way too much food, and lying down in bed sounded better than ever.

 

It didn’t take him long to get ready for bed. Luckily, Abby hadn’t expected them to get all dressed up for dinner, so Neil was wearing a pair of sweats anyway, with a shirt that fit him at least slightly better than his usual ones. The shirt was quickly changed for a different, more comfortable one.

 

Andrew was sitting at the window, smoking a cigarette, when Neil went to the bathroom. He was still on the same spot when Neil came back, but only then did he see the tired look on Andrew’s face. Apparently Neil wasn’t the only one in need of a good night’s sleep after tonight and the night before.

He heard the bathroom door shut when he was in the bedroom and got comfy on his side of the bed. When the bedroom door opened again, Neil was nice and toasty beneath the covers and his eyes were heavy. He blinked them open when he felt the mattress dip though, and watched Andrew settle under the covers next to him. Andrew huffed and groaned quietly as he tried to get comfortable and Neil gave him as much room as possible to do so, but with a bed this small that wasn’t much. Andrew spread his arms and again, Neil tried to give him room, but instead of using that room, Andrew wrapped his arm around Neil’s shoulders and pulled him close.

 

Neil was so perplexed, he didn’t do anything for a while. When he stayed still, Andrew froze immediately, his arm curled around Neil's shoulders but his hand hovering a few inches above his skin, not daring to touch.

 

“Yes?” He asked. Neil could tell he was wondering if he went too far.

 

“Yes.” Neil's answer took the strain out of Andrew, and he let his hand sink back down again. It felt like he was in the middle of a dream, but the heat seeping into his skin from Andrew's body was a constant reminder that this was real.

 

“This is just because there's no fucking room in this fucking bed of yours, don't think it means anything else,” Andrew said, breaking the silence that had settled over them. And Neil would believe him, if it wasn't for his fingers toying with the sleeve of Neil's shirt and slipping underneath occasionally to gently caress his skin. But the thing that probably gave him away the most was the fact that he had pulled Neil so close his head was pillowed on Andrew's chest and Neil could listen to his heartbeat. It matched Neil's heart, that seemed to try to jump out of his chest.

 

“Sure,” Neil said with a smile on his lips.

 

Neil listened to the fast but rhythmic beat of Andrew’s heart. His chest started to feel tighter and tighter with each beat against his ear - but not in a bad way. His stomach felt fuzzy. His eyes felt heavy and he closed them, but he couldn’t sleep. He just listened.

Suddenly, the urge to kiss Andrew overcame him, and it was so vast and so sudden, it almost took his breath away. He had to try, so Neil strained his neck, tilted his chin up and brushed his lips along Andrew’s jar. He heard Andrew’s breath stutter, and stilled, his lips still touching Andrew’s skin ever so slightly, and his breath ghosting across his cheek.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Neil’s voice was quiet but still sounded too loud in the silence of the room.

 

“Yes.” Andrew turned his head until their lips brushed. They stayed like that for a couple of seconds, breathing into each other’s mouths, lips barely touching, until Andrew twisted his other hand into Neil’s curls and pulled him close.

Andrew’s lips were demanding and hungry, the kiss intense and breathtaking from the start. Never had Neil been kissed like this before. He felt like a drowning man, sinking into Andrew’s arms and kiss, and he felt like a fool for doing it so willingly. It was dangerous, how much he enjoyed this, how much he knew he was willing to do and give up just to be kissed like this once more.

Neil curled his hand into a fist in Andrew’s shirt as he moaned quietly into the kiss. Andrew gently pulled on his curls, and bolts of arousal shot from his scalp down his spine, making him gasp in surprise.

“Andrew…” Neil mumbled into the kiss. Andrew answered with a soft humm and by sucking Neil’s bottom lip between his teeth, while his hand slowly went all the way down from Neil’s hair to his lower back.

“Okay?” He asked.

 

“Always,” Neil answered, then caught Andrew’s lips with his own again.

 

“Shut up,” Andrew grunted, but grabbed Neil’s ass nonetheless.

It wasn’t long until they were both breathing heavily, hands groping wherever they could, clothes askew, lips still locked in a passionate kiss. Neil was still lying in Andrew’s arm, hands under Andrew’s shirt now, feeling the muscle and stroking the skin there again, when Andrew grabbed one of his wrists. Both hands stilled immediately and waited if they’d be pushed away.

Andrew seemed to consider his options for a while before he decided, but Neil had never expected him to make _this_ decision. Instead of pushing Neil’s hand up or away, he pushed it down, until his fingertips slipped beneath the waistband of his sweatpants. Neil froze, and even though he felt Andrew pull on his wrist he didn’t move his hand. This was new.

Neil pulled his face away from Andrew’s. The look on Andrew’s face wasn’t too pleased about the interruption, but Neil needed more than gestures before he could go on.

 

“Andrew…” He saw Andrew’s blown wide pupils, his reddened cheeks, the way he breathed heavy and swallowed hard. “Are you sure? Is this okay?”

 

“What do you think?” Andrew tried to hide that he was nervous, but Neil was too good at reading people, had to be for most of his life, to be fooled. Silence was enough to prompt Andrew to give a proper answer, but he huffed in annoyance and squeezed Neil’s wrist before he did.

“Yes. It’s okay.”

 

The second Neil got this answer, he rushed back forwards to capture Andrew’s lips in a kiss again and stopped resisting the pull on his wrist. Soon Andrew’s hand left his wrist and Neil pushed his hand further himself. Fingers brushed over soft cotton, but what was way more intriguing than Andrew’s underwear was what lay beneath. Gently, Neil brushed his fingers along the hard shaft of Andrew’s erection until he reached the base, then back up. A wet spot already formed at the tip, and Neil revelled in the hitch of Andrew’s breath and the small sound he made when Neil rubbed his thumb across it. An eagerness to give Andrew pleasure grew in Neil. He wanted to make Andrew feel just like Andrew had made _him_ feel, wanted Andrew to enjoy this as much as possible. He had given Neil so much - patience, pleasure and trust - he just wanted to make Andrew feel good, even if it was for just one night.

Neil's lips found their way to Andrew's neck, seeking out all the most sensitive spots Neil had already found in the last couple days, and that made Andrew gasp and stutter in the most delicious ways.

Neil bit down on a spot just beneath Andrew's jaw and could feel his cock jump under Neil's fingers in response. This sent a rush of arousal through Neil's own body, and he did it again. This time Andrew grunted quietly, a warning that Neil couldn't quite believe, when at the same time Andrew's hips stuttered into his palm.

Suddenly, Andrew's hand was back on Neil's bottom, and he squeezed one of his ass cheeks firmly. Neil, arousal growing deep inside his belly, moaned quietly.

They pressed their lips together again in an intense kiss that left Neil breathless and wanting more. His hand was now stroking Andrew through his briefs, and Andrew's breath was going quick and heavy. His hand roamed Neil's ass and thigh, squeezing and caressing them. After a while of this, Andrew hooked his fingers under Neil's waistband and bit down on Neil's bottom lip while pulling on them gently, but nowhere near enough to pull them off.

“Yes,” Neil breathed before Andrew could even ask, and Andrew pulled both his sweats and his pants down at the same time. He didn't take them off Neil completely, just barely beneath his ass.

Andrew splayed his hand on Neil's naked skin and let it slowly wander up his hips, then down his ass. He grabbed Neil's ass cheek again, gave it a firm squeeze and just seemed to enjoy the feeling of it in his hand for a while. A shudder ran down Neil’s spine when Andrew’s other hand, starting between his shoulder blades, went up his back and neck and into his hair. Fingernails gently grazed his scalp and fingers curled around a handful of hair, pulling carefully. Neil was still lying in Andrew’s arm, so close, so warm, feeling like nothing in the world mattered but this moment. Neil felt his nerves rise when his fingers stroked over the cotton, up to the waistband. His fingertips pushed beneath, but Neil stopped and just stroked the skin there. The muscles in Andrew’s stomach jerked under Neil’s featherlight touch and he pulled on his hair a bit firmer. Neil softly moaned into Andrew’s mouth.

 

“Can I go further?” He asked. This was the last border to cross. Neil was completely prepared to stop here, but Andrew agreed with a quiet, but certain ‘yes’.

Neil licked his lips, then pushed further. His fingers touched hot skin and Andrew’s breath stuttered, got stuck in his throat for a second or two before he pushed it out of his lungs in one loud, heavy breath. Neil had to bite down on his own lip so he wouldn’t moan out himself. Curling his fingers around Andrew’s hot, hard cock felt so good, it was as if he’d been waiting to do so for ages. He gave it a few slow, experimental strokes, getting used to the weight in his hand and giving Andrew time to get used of someone touching him like this. Neil didn’t know how long it had been for Andrew, maybe he had had someone just before he came to Palmetto, but going by what Neil learned about him this week and how Andrew went about this whole thing, Neil doubted it.

Andrew’s hand, gripping Neil’s ass cheek firmly as if to ground himself, wandered to Neil’s cock now too. Neil couldn’t stop his hips from stuttering forwards slightly when Andrew curled his fingers around his cock and then brushed his thumb across the tip.

 

Getting Andrew off was something beautiful and fascinating. At first Neil barely heard anything from him except his heavy breathing, but soon he started to make small sounds; grunts and gasps, that eventually turned into soft moans. The closer to his climax Andrew got, the harder his hand in Neil’s curls pulled his hair. He was still holding back, Neil could tell, but this was more than he ever thought he’d get. Andrew’s hand on his own cock was way too distracting to really waste a thought on this anyway, and Neil didn’t hold back at all. He moaned, he gasped, he repeated Andrew’s name like a prayer. He squirmed and trembled and rolled his hips, fucking his cock into Andrew’s fist.

Suddenly Andrew pulled Neil into a kiss, hot and desperate and messy. Neil could barely return it, it was rather Andrew kissing him and Neil moaning into his mouth in return, but it was perfect in its own way. Shortly after, Andrew moaned, voice rough and shaking, and hot cum spilled all over Neil’s hand. Neil stroked him through his orgasm, even if it was hard to keep his hand moving so close to his own climax, until Andrew squirmed from oversensitivity and swatted Neil’s hand away. As soon as Neil let go of him, Andrew cupped Neil’s balls in his free hand and pushed his thumb into the skin right behind them.

 

Neil’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His hands scrambled for purchase and eventually curled into Andrew’s shirt, holding onto him while he came all over Andrew’s hand just like that. Andrew drew small circles with his thumb and a high-pitched moan finally left Neil’s throat, and suddenly he was able to breath again. He was panting, desperately filling his lungs with air, whimpering as Andrew relentlessly kept going until he was pressing his face into the pillow, muttering ‘Oh God’s and begging Andrew to stop.

He was relieved and disappointed at the same time when Andrew did. His whole body became limp and he was panting harshly, legs shaking and eyes too heavy to open.

 

“You’re gonna stay like this?” Andrew asked when Neil hadn’t moved after a couple of seconds. Neil huffed.

  
“Give me a minute,” he grunted into the pillow with a slightly hoarse voice, “I want to be sure my legs are working again before I attempt to get down the stairs.”

 

Andrew snorted in amusement and didn’t wait for Neil to get up before he climbed off the bed and went to the bathroom to wash up. Neil stayed and didn’t notice how he slowly nodded off without meaning to. Only when something wet hit his face did he jolt out of his doze and caught it before it fell into his lap. It was a wet flannel.

“I’m not sleeping in the same bed as you if you’ve got jizz everywhere,” Andrew deadpanned. Neil spotted him, arms crossed on Neil’s mattress, standing on the bed beneath. He put a new pair of sweats from Neil’s wardrobe onto the bed too and gestured for Neil to hurry up.

“Go on, wash up.”

 

Andrew even brought the flannel back to the bathroom while Neil changed into his new pair of sweats and threw the old ones, as well as his briefs, to the floor next to the bed. Andrew threw the discarded clothes a vaguely annoyed glance when he came back, before he climbed back into the bunk and sank into the sheets once again.

Andrew stretched his arm out again, and Neil happily took the offer. He inched closer until he could rest his head on Andrew’s shoulder, who curled his arm around Neil and threw the other one over his head.

 

“Good night,” Neil said with a yawn, eyes already heavy again and his mind fogged from tiredness.

 

“Good night,” Andrew responded and pulled the covers a bit further up. It didn’t take Neil five minutes to fall asleep; warm, comfortable and safe in Andrew’s arm.

 

***

 

The next morning was sunny and nice, and when Neil woke up it was from the sun shining through the blinds into his face. He blinked his eyes open and squinted accusingly at the window before he decided to turn to his other side and avoid the sunlight. Instead, he was now looking straight into Andrew's sleeping face. Like this, he looked relaxed, almost content. Some strands of his hair fell into his face and the warm sunlight made it look almost white, and his skin soft and milky. Neil noticed a very faint, reddish bruise on Andrew's neck, just beneath his jaw. It was the spot that Neil had bit down onto last night; it wasn't a real hickey, but it was there and Neil bit his bottom lip to hide a grin. Hopefully the others wouldn't notice.

 

Andrew woke up shortly after. They didn't stay in bed much longer then and got themselves ready instead, so they could meet Nicky, Aaron and Kevin for breakfast. With Andrew going back to the army today, Nicky had insisted they'd spend some time together beforehand.

Neil found out Andrew was travelling by train and offered to drop him off at the train station, which Andrew accepted. Nicky and Aaron looked mildly surprised by the offer, but then decided Neil and Andrew had been getting along weirdly well this past week anyway.

 

“I wish Neil would offer to drive me anywhere,” Nicky had joked before dropping the topic just as quickly again and going on about some new scandal surrounding one of the Kardashians.

 

Just three hours later, Neil and Andrew were on their way to the train station. Andrew was smoking on the passenger seat while Neil was talking to him every now and then, but apart from that they'd mostly sit in comfortable silence. Neil told Andrew about Exy practice - which Andrew commented with “Exy is dumb” - he told him about how Nicky helped him with his Spanish classes, about Aaron and Katelyn and about how they'd make it all the way to finally to kick the Ravens off their throne.

 

“Kevin is scared,” Neil said, “And honestly, I'm too. But I believe we can do it.”

 

Andrew snorted and looked at Neil with apparent amusement.

“The Foxes? Beating the Ravens? I've seen the mess your team is, back when Nicky and Aaron started. You don't stand a chance.” Neil frowned, but soon that changed into a confident grin.

 

“You better turn on your TV and watch us then, when the game airs. You'll get the surprise of a lifetime.”

 

“Confident.” Andrew said after a moment of silence, “You better make it worth my while. Punch Riko in the face for me.” Neil had to laugh at that, but he liked the sound of the idea. Punching Riko in the face was something he had always wanted to do. He parked the car in front of the train station, turned off the engine and turned towards Andrew.

 

“I’ll try my best. But you’ll have to watch the game then.”

 

Andrew looked at Neil and considered him for a minute. Neil sat completely still and let Andrew look his fill, his head leaning against the headrest and one leg pulled up on the seat, folded underneath him.

 

“Do I?”

 

“Otherwise you won’t see me punch Riko. Or the Foxes kick his ass. They are broadcasting it on live TV.”

 

“Let’s see.” Andrew pushed forward and brushed his hand across Neil’s cheek. Immediately, Neil leaned his hand into the touch, closed his eyes and parted his lips ever so slightly in invitation and anticipation. Andrew’s fingers curled around his neck and grabbed him there, pulling Neil close, so he could kiss him. It was less than ideal to kiss in the front seats of a car, but Neil would be willing to put up with way worse circumstances to kiss Andrew.

 

The kiss was over way too quickly, and Neil’s heart sank a bit when Andrew grabbed his bag from the backseat. It was stupid, really, to dread this goodbye so much. They met a week ago, they couldn’t stand each other at first and now they spent three nights together, and still - it felt like saying goodbye to someone Neil didn’t want to let go.

Of course he didn’t say that. Instead Neil bit his tongue, ripped the key from the ignition and left the car. They went to Andrew’s platform and waited in silence for his train. Neil fidgeted with the sleeves of his sweater and stared at his feet, while Andrew seemed to be completely calm and collected, just checking his phone for the time every now and then. When Andrew’s train arrived, Neil swallowed the lump in his throat and lifted his eyes from the ground.

 

“Are you gonna visit again?”

 

Andrew, who already made a step towards the train, stopped in his tracks and looked at Neil. He was quiet, and with each passing moment Neil felt more and more awkward. Eventually, Andrew clicked his tongue and looked at the sky thoughtfully.

  
“They expect me to pay my family a visit at least twice a year,” he said. “I dislike Christmas even more than Thanksgiving, so I made Thanksgiving my second.”

Andrew continued his way to the train and Neil watched him go. It meant he’d see him again, even if Neil didn’t know when, and for now that had to be enough for him.

 

“Bye, _Drew_ ,” Neil called after him. Andrew, standing in the door of the train, turned to Neil, one corner of his mouth pulled up to an amused half-grin.

 

“Bye, idiot,” he called back, before he vanished inside the train.

 

***

 

On his way back to Foxtower, Neil turned off the radio in his car and drove in complete silence. He had the windows on both sides open because he felt like he’d suffocate in the car otherwise.

He was glad the dorm was empty when he came back. Matt and Dan wouldn’t come back for another two days, so Neil had some time to become himself again. When he entered the room he kicked his shoes off and went to the kitchen to grab a can of soda, then he went to the living room. He spent the rest of the day watching Netflix on the sofa, and in the evening he went for a long run. But even after that, Neil’s head was still feeling weird and full, so he decided, after a long shower, he’d go to bed early. Maybe a proper night’s sleep would help - at least that was what he was trying to tell himself, when really, he hadn’t slept as good as the past couple days in a long while.

 

With a frustrated sigh Neil frowned at the stairs to his bunk bed, when suddenly all he could think of was how Andrew pushed him up against them, kissing him as if his life depended on it. He huffed, annoyed by his mind, climbed up the stairs and let himself fall into the sheets.

  
“What the-…?” When Neil’s head hit the pillow, it also hit something else. Something Neil didn’t put there. He pulled a post-it note from between his head and the pillow and examined it with scepticism and confusion. But when Neil turned the paper around, his heart skipped a beat.

 

It was a phone number. Andrew’s phone number.

In surprisingly neat handwriting, it said _Don’t call. I won’t pick up._ and underneath was the string of digits. Neil would be embarrassed about how fast his heart started to beat, if he wasn’t busy patting the mattress down for his phone, which he put _somewhere_ here, he knew he had taken it--

 

There it was.

But suddenly, when Neil wanted to type the number into his phone, he stopped. He stared at the display, wondering what had happened. Why all of a sudden a phone number, left on his pillow, meant so much.

 

Maybe Kevin wasn't that wrong. Maybe it was more than just a fuck to Neil. But who could blame Neil? After all these years, Andrew was, after Kevin, the first person Neil felt he could trust with his secrets. At least some of them. And it had only taken him a couple of days to make Neil trust him so much, to make Neil feel safe and warm when he was sleeping next to him, to make Neil want him, like he never wanted anyone before.

And maybe, just maybe, this small piece of paper meant, that it was more than just a fuck to Andrew, too.

 

>>So is it okay to text you or won't you read those too?<< Neil sent the message and waited for a reply, but nothing came. He waited for ten minutes, but Andrew hadn't even read the message yet. He went for the bathroom, came back and checked his phone, but still, nothing. When after 35 minutes Andrew still didn't respond, Neil’s heart sank and he put his phone down next to his pillow. Maybe he had read too much into this. Or maybe Andrew was playing a cruel game with him.

 

***

 

When Neil's alarm rang the next morning, he opened his eyes tiredly, sat up and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes. He felt like he had slept way too little.

 

Only when he picked up his phone to look at the time and the numbers “4:17” glared back at him did he realise, he was still on holiday and didn't even set an alarm. The reason his phone rang was a text message. Neil's heart skipped a beat and he was wide-awake in a second when he saw the name on the display.

 

>>Idiot.<< Was the only thing the text read.

 

>>Why are you awake at 4am?<< Neil wrote back. He got up and went to the kitchen to fix himself a cup of coffee. Now that he was awake he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anyway.

 

>>I'm a soldier, Dumbo. I have drills. And I need at least a coffee and some breakfast before I can take an old man yelling orders at me at 5 in the fucking morning<<

Neil grinned at that response. He did understand it, though, early practices were a lot more exhausting when Neil didn't have time for at least a cup of coffee before Coach and Kevin would be shouting profanities and criticism at him.

 

>>Why are you up at 4am?<< Andrews second text came just as Neil's coffee was ready and he sat down at the table and took a sip before typing.

>>Your text woke me up<<

 

>>You expecting an apology?<<

 

>>No<<

 

>>Good. Because you're not gonna get one.<<

 

>>I'm glad you texted back.<< This time, Andrew read the message immediately, but it took him a minute to reply.

 

>>Shut up.<< Neil couldn't help but smile and quickly hid it by drinking another sip of his coffee, as if Andrew could see it otherwise.

They didn't text any more until lunch time, when Neil sent Andrew a text, telling him about his and Kevin's impromptu practice. Andrew replied with a picture of his lunch, which looked like a failed attempt of a preschooler to do their own cooking. Neil wrinkled his nose in disgust.

 

>>Wow that looks disgusting<<

 

>>It is<<

 

>>Shouldn't they feed you better stuff?<<

 

>>The regular cook is still on holiday. Her food is good.<<

 

Nicky tried to peek onto Neil's phone, intrigued by the fact that Neil barely ever texted. He usually didn't even text in the Foxes’ group chat, except he was talked to directly. But before Nicky could get a glimpse of the phone's display, Neil locked the screen and Nicky huffed in frustration.

 

“Who are you texting, Neil?” He asked.

 

“None of your business, Nicky,” Neil replied, unimpressed.

 

“Is it Matt?”

 

“No.”

 

“Allison?”

 

“No.”

 

Nicky frowned, then his eyes went wide and he gasped.

“Are you telling me you finally found friends? Except the Foxes I mean?”

 

“Just shut up, Nicky,” Neil sighed.

 

“For once I agree with him,” Aaron said and distracted Nicky enough for Neil to get up and leave the lunch table.

He found Kevin instead, and they wasted a couple of hours on old Exy games. Well, not really wasted. They took notes and compared techniques, thought about the best ways to balance out the Foxes’ players strengths and the other Team's weaknesses and the other way around.

Neil was brooding over how to outmanoeuvre Laila Dermott - the Trojans’ very capable goalie - when he heard a phone vibrate. Too deep in thought to care Neil let it be, but was soon interrupted by Kevin - which was a first, Kevin never interrupted him when he was thinking about Exy strategies, except to correct him or talk about something related.

 

“He texts you?!”

 

Immediately Neil's head snapped up, and he saw Kevin frowning at the screen of Neil's phone which Neil had thrown onto Kevin's desk carelessly earlier.

There was no use in denying it now, so instead Neil shrugged nonchalantly.

“So what? I can text whoever I want, can't I?”

 

“I thought he was just a casual fuck?”

 

“We're just texting, Kevin. You're texting Jeremy Knox, does that make him your boyfriend?” Kevin sputtered and turned bright red, and Neil just grinned in amusement. Kevin had the worst Exy-crush - yes, that was a thing with Kevin Day - on Jeremy Knox. Neil had to admit he had a nice face, but what Kevin admired so much about him was his talent as a player and team captain. That made him the best ammunition to make Kevin shut up.

 

“Fuck off, Neil, that's not the same,” Kevin said, frowning angrily, “Jeremy and I are friends. I didn't suck his c-”

 

“Neither did I,” Neil interrupted, feeling his own cheeks heating up, “Since you seem so interested in my sex life.”

 

“I'm really not. What I am interested in is you not getting involved with something you can't handle the consequences of.” Suddenly, Kevin's expression turned sincere and he put his pen down to turn his whole attention and body towards Neil instead. “I don't know Andrew all that well. I respect him and I don't care what he did in the past, no one in this team has a white vest, so who are we to judge? But I don't want to have to pick you up from the floor because you thought this might become more than it will be.”

 

Neil stared at Kevin in wonder.

“... You're actually concerned,” he realised. Kevin looked angry again now and threw his hands up into the air in an exasperated gesture.

“Of course I'm concerned! You're my friend! What kind of person do you think I am?” Suddenly Neil felt bad for not realising Kevin was genuinely being a good friend and ducked his head in shame. Kevin huffed, then grabbed Neil's phone, got off his chair and went to give it to Neil.

“Do whatever you think is right, but I warned you.”

With that, Kevin left and Neil was alone with his notes and his phone. After a moment in which he didn't move and just stared after Kevin, Neil lifted his hand to unlock the screen and open the message that had given him away.

 

>>I want you.<<

 

Neil drew in a sharp breath. His body reacted strongly to the words; his head was immediately filled with memories of Andrew’s kisses, his skin prickled where it remembered his touches. A text shouldn’t trigger these feelings in Neil, and yet, here he was, shuddering from three simple words in a text message.

That night, Neil found out that text messages could do much more than make him shudder. He was alone in his bed, yet Andrew made him come just with his words and Neil’s memories of how Andrew’s hands and lips felt on his body. Even without being there, Andrew could make a gasping, shaking mess of Neil, and as he was lying in his rumpled sheets, chest heaving, skin hot and flushed and legs still shaking from his climax, Neil realised that he was _completely fucked_. This definitely went beyond a casual fuck.

 

This went on for a couple of days. Neil and Andrew were texting so much, even the other Foxes started to notice how often Neil was on his phone. Neil was pretty sure there were at least three different bets on his weird behaviour - but no one except Kevin knew the truth.

Matt made a couple of light-hearted jokes, nudged his elbow into Neil’s ribs and asked if there was something - or someone - Neil wanted to tell him about. Neil told him no.

Mostly, their texts were just chit chat; Neil asking Andrew about his day, Andrew complaining about his fellow soldiers, Neil complaining about Kevin. But then there were the flirty texts between classes and drills, the suggestive ones after practice, the explicit ones at night. With the others back at PSU and Matt in his dorm, Neil had to be careful or this could become very embarrassing very fast.

 

The weekend after Andrew went back to the Army, Neil was at the dorm alone because Matt and Dan were having a lunch date. Neil wanted to use this time to study, but he ended up drawing foxpaws all over his paper instead of writing down any notes. Thankful for the interruption, he threw his pen on the desk when his phone chirped and reached for the device. Andrew’s name was on the screen and Neil immediately opened the message to read it.

 

>>Hey idiot, check your bedroom. I left a sweater somewhere. Black turtleneck.<<

 

Confused, Neil turned to look at the bedroom door. A sweater? He should’ve noticed that by now, shouldn’t he? But then again, he might have confused it for one of Matt’s sweaters. So Neil went to the bedroom to check and, lo and behold, after about two minutes he found a black turtleneck sweater draped over the back of a chair. Neil grabbed it and was about to text Andrew that he found it, when suddenly an idea occurred to him.

 

Why not spice that up a bit?

 

Neil threw the sweater back over the chair, then grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head. His sweatpants followed short and Neil was left in nothing but his briefs. Now it was time for Andrew’s sweater. When Neil pulled it over his head, it still smelled of Andrew and he couldn’t keep himself from closing his eyes and inhale, nose buried deep inside the turtleneck. A shiver ran down his spine and Neil savored the smell for a couple of seconds before he pulled the sweater all the way down. It was big on him - even though Andrew was slightly smaller than him, he was a lot wider and more muscular. The sleeves went halfway down Neil’s fingers, and the sweater itself was long enough to cover most of Neil’s bottom and crotch. Only a small bit of his briefs was still visible beneath the hem.

 

Neil stood in front of the full-body mirror that was hanging on the wardrobe, turned this way and that, eyeing himself and finding the perfect angle. He combed a hand through his hair, but it didn’t do much to tame his curls, so Neil just placed a couple of strands like he wanted them. Satisfied with the way he looked, Neil raised one hand to his face. The sleeve still covered most of Neil’s hand and his fingertips touched his slightly parted lips and his chin. Then he raised the hand with his phone in it, pointed the camera at the mirror and put on a barely visible but cheeky grin, then shot a couple of pictures.

Between them, he found the perfect one; his legs looked lean but muscular, his butt was in just the right angle, and the lighting pronounced the soft features of his face. This was the one he sent to Andrew.

  
>>You mean this one?<<

Neil didn’t leave Andrew enough time to answer, before he sent another text.

>>I think I’m gonna keep that one, just to be sure you’ll actually come back to visit<<

 

Andrew saw the messages just ten seconds later, Neil could tell from the little ticks, but his answer took much longer. One minute and then another and another went by without an answer, and Neil started to think that maybe he crossed a line he shouldn't have. But just when he put his pants back on, his phone rang. He went for it embarrassingly fast and unlocked it.

 

>>You little fuck<< Andrew's answer had Neil grinning and biting his lip. Instead of thinking up an actual answer, Neil just sent a smiley face. This time it didn't take Andrew this long to answer, and Neil was laughing out loud when he read his text:

 

>>Go fuck yourself<<

 

Neil went and grabbed a drink, then threw himself onto the sofa, his study materials completely forgotten on his desk.

>>I think I'll wait for you to come back and do that for me<< He replied as he sank into the pillows.

 

>>Since when are you so bold?<< Andrew asked in his next text, and Neil could almost see his raised eyebrow, >>Last I remember you were Mister cheesy-pickup-line<<

 

Neil completely lost track of time while texting Andrew, and was startled when suddenly the front door opened and Matt entered the dorm.

“Hey bro,” he called from the door, “What's up? I've heard you laughing, you watching something funny?” But when Matt came to the living room the TV was turned off, and Neil was still on the couch on his phone. Matt raised an eyebrow, then slowly a knowing grin formed on his lips.

“Oh, it's the mysterious Text-Person again, isn't it? You know, one day you gotta tell me who you're texting, I at least wanna know if I would've won the bets going on this.”

 

“Sure,” Neil promised, but they both didn't really believe that.

When Matt started for the kitchen Neil thought he'd be safe from this topic now, but then Matt asked:

 

“What's with the sweater?”

 

Realisation hit Neil like a brick in the face. He looked down his body, but really, he already knew what he was going to see: he completely forgot to take off Andrew's sweater.

Sure his secret was blown now, Neil stayed quiet. When Matt came back from the kitchen, he walked over to the couch to sit next to Neil.

“Is it new? I've never seen it on you before… Bro, you alright? You look a bit pale.”

 

Wait. Matt didn't realise it was Andrew's sweater?

Relieved, Neil took a deep breath and nodded.

“I'm fine. Yeah, it's new.”

 

“You know, Nicky is right. You should get something that actually fits you at some point. This one is _way_ too big on you. Look, the sleeves even cover half of your hands.”

 

“I will,” Neil promised, “Next time.” But Matt just smirked. He had heard that promise too many times already.

“Sure. You've been saying that for a year now,” he joked light-heartedly, then threw his feet on the table and turned the TV on.

 

“How was your date?” Neil asked, putting his phone into his pants’ pockets, and turned to Matt so he was sitting sideways and cross-legged on the sofa.

“Oh, it was great!” Matt smiled that smile he always smiled when he was talking about Dan, and Neil couldn't help but smile, too. He listened to what Matt told him about their date and wondered what it must be like to be as in love as these two were. Neil was pretty sure Matt would do anything possible and impossible for Dan.

 

The next weeks went on as usual. Everything went back to normal: Practice started again, classes started again, and Neil spent every night with Kevin on the court for night practices. Well, almost everything went back to normal. Neil was still on his phone a lot - at least for his standards, and the Foxes were intrigued, to say the least.

One time Dan caught him biting his lip and grinning down at the screen, and she smirked and asked him if he was looking at dirty pictures someone sent him. Neil’s cheeks had turned red and he denied it.

Not that he didn’t receive any. After he sent Andrew the picture of him in his sweater, they had been sending each other pictures occasionally. Neil mentioned once that he thought Andrew looked hot in his uniform - two hours later he received a picture of Andrew in full uniform, jacket opened and revealing the white wifebeater he was wearing beneath. The undershirt was so tight, even if Neil didn’t know what lay underneath there wouldn’t be much left to his imagination.

It wasn’t the only picture of Andrew in Neil’s phone, but probably his favourite, except maybe for that one of Andrew, bare-chested and in a pair of black sweatpants, after a workout in the locker room. They were his favourites.

 

The more time went by, the more they texted. At one point they even started to talk over the phone. And slowly Neil started to realise that he really liked Andrew more than he should. But wasn’t the fact that Andrew hadn’t lost interest yet sign enough that, maybe, this wasn’t one-sided?

Neil didn’t have much time to consider this thought. They had a lot of games, and they won all of them. The Foxes were on a winning streak, and Neil wasn’t about to ruin that because his head was full with something else than Exy. By the time the winter banquet rolled by, the Foxes stopped being a laughing stock and instead started to be considered a serious team. Still, Neil very much didn’t want to go, but the others didn’t leave him a chance.

 

Afterwards, they probably wished they had. Well, maybe except Matt, because he was still laughing when they boarded the Foxbus.

 

“What the fuck, Neil?!” Coach asked for the thirteenth time, gesturing wildly.

 

“In my defense, Coach, Riko was being a dickhead,” Neil said calmly, but somehow that didn’t calm Wymack down.

 

“Well, newsflash, kid, Riko is _always_ a dickhead! That doesn’t make it okay for you to sucker-punch him in the mouth!”

 

Neil ended up in the back of the bus, brooding about the things Riko had said about Kevin that made Neil punch him. Riko knew he couldn’t attack Neil because Neil wasn’t part of his sick game anymore. The Moriyamas had no interest in him and Stuart held a protective hand over Neil, making him more or less immune to Riko’s power. Kevin, however, was still a popular target for Riko and the Ravens, and Kevin was still terribly afraid of them, which they enjoyed to no end. And Neil hated them for it.

It made him feel a bit better to remember the blood oozing from his nose, his split lip and the shaken look on Riko’s face in the moment he needed to process what happened and then attack Neil.

The vibration of his phone ripped him from his thoughts, and Neil pulled it from his pants’ pockets. It was a text from Andrew.

 

>>So how’s the banquet. Did the boredom kill you yet?<<

 

>>I punched Riko<< It didn’t even take Andrew ten seconds to reply, and Neil couldn’t help his amused smile.

 

>>What?<<

 

>>Sorry, I know you wanted to see it, but he was such an asshole today I couldn’t stop myself<<

 

>>I hope it was a good punch<<

 

>>He got a nosebleed and a split lip and Matt called it beautiful. He’s still laughing about it by the way. I think it was alright<<

 

>>So how is the mood at the banquet, now that you made the King bleed?<< Andrew obviously enjoyed this a lot. This fact raised Neil’s mood a lot and it showed on his face. His expression relaxed, his features became softer again and a small smile played around his mouth.

 

>>Idk they threw us out. Well technically me, but Coach made the whole team leave and now we’re on our way back to Foxtower<<

 

>>At least you don’t have to spend more time at this boring event now<<

 

>>Guess you’re right<< Neil laughed softly, but was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. It was Nicky, Neil realised when he looked up from his phone, who was three rows further in the front, kneeling on the seat so he could cross his arms on the back of it and rest his chin on his arms. A huge grin was on his lips and his eyes glinted mischievously.

 

“Damn Neil. Are you still trying to tell us you don’t have a girlfriend?”

 

“I don’t,” Neil said.

 

“Sure,” Nicky giggled, “I don’t think you’re smiling at your phone like this when I’m texting you.”

 

“That’s true, I’m not.”

 

“Wow, rude, Neil. That hurt,” it clearly didn’t, because Nicky was still grinning like he just heard the best joke in the world. “Anyway. Thanks for punching Riko, I think that’s something we all wanted to do at some point.”

Nicky went back to his seat at the front with the others, and no one interrupted Neil and Andrew for the rest of the ride.

 

The Foxes spent their Christmas with friends and family. Even Nicky went to Germany to see Erik, and Aaron spent it with Katelyn. Kevin stayed with Wymack and Abby - and Neil went to England to spend Christmas with Stuart. Him and Nicky travelled together, until they reached London where Neil would spend the next two weeks, whereas Nicky took one last plane to Germany. The holidays were uneventful but over way too quickly. Contrary to his expectations, Neil enjoyed his time in London and was almost sad when it was time to go back. But as soon as he was back in the US and slowly started to settle back into everyday life, time flew and before he knew it, spring was showing its very first signs. But more importantly: The Foxes still hadn’t lost a single game and made it into the final. They’d play against the Ravens and they had a real chance of becoming Champions for the very first time.

No one had expected them to get this far, not even most of the Foxes themselves, but that just made them even more ecstatic when they actually made it.

 

Kevin was a mess since they knew they’d face the Ravens on court again. Their drills got harder, their practices longer and Kevin’s tone rougher - but for once no one complained. They knew they needed it, and they were willing to put double the effort into their game, if that meant they had a chance at beating the Ravens.

 

If he was being honest, though, Neil had to admit it was getting to him, too. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t listen in class and he was barely talking about anything but Exy or the upcoming game against the Ravens to anyone, including Andrew.

But Andrew, bless him, never seriously complained. He did tease Neil sometimes, or told him to change the subject “for five fucking minutes, Josten,” but apart from that he was patient and let Neil stress about it. One time, when they were on the phone, he even admitted that he thought the Foxes might have a chance.

 

Suddenly gameday rolled by and Neil didn’t feel prepared at all, even though technically he knew they worked their asses off and made huge progress.

 

“Stop overthinking this,” Andrew said, sounding as bored as if today was a day like any other, “You were the one telling me how the Foxes could do it for the past couple weeks.”

 

“And you said we couldn’t,” Neil said. He could hear his own nerves in his voice and made a frustrated noise. Andrew just sighed exasperatedly.

 

“And then you proved me wrong.” Neil stopped pacing up and down the room and frowned at the wall.

“What do you mean? I didn’t prove you wrong, we haven’t played the game yet, we st-”

 

“I said the Foxes won’t ever make it to the final. Probably not even quarter final. You proved me wrong - now do it again.”

 

Neil licked his lips nervously and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He was quiet as he thought, as he tried to rationally think about their chances. The phone was still pressed to his ear but Andrew was just as quiet, Neil could only hear him rustling with something.

 

“We’re gonna make it.” Finally, Neil felt his confidence return. His voice was more certain again and his hands less shaky.

 

“Right,” Andrew said, pulling a zipper, “You have a bus to catch, I don’t think you want the Foxes leaving without you, do you?”

 

“No, I don’t,” Neil agreed and grabbed his packed back that was waiting for him on his bed. When he slipped into his shoes to make his way out of the dorm Neil stopped for a second, just breathed, and started to smile a soft smile.

“Drew?”

 

“Mh?” Neil heard a door click through the phone, then keys jingling.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Everything.”

 

“Shut up, Josten, and win that fucking game.”

 

***

 

If the ride to Castle Evermore was tense, the mood in the locker room right before the game was unbearable. Kevin was pacing up and down, Nicky was constantly tapping his foot to the floor and even the Williams sisters were unsettled and clinging to each other’s hands. Everyone in the room jumped when Coach came in, clapping his hands. He looked vaguely sorry when he saw their startled faces but went on nonetheless.

 

“Okay, listen up, it’s time to get onto this court for warm-ups. I know you’re nervous, but you’ll have to get through it. Kick some Raven ass tonight and I’ll buy you all enough alcohol so you won’t remember your victory tomorrow.”

 

As soon as they sat foot onto the court, Neil could feel a good amount of tension leave his body, and looking at his teammates they felt the same. The roaring cheers of Foxes fans was loud enough to make Neil’s ears ring, and he was shocked at the amount of orange he saw when he looked at the crowd in the stands. He would have forgotten the Ravens and their fans, if it wasn’t for the loud boos coming from the other stands.

Encouraged by their fans, the Foxes started their warm-up. It felt like almost no time until the referee got them off the court again and they went to their locker room for stretches.

 

They were in a much better mood by the time they made it back, and Wymack looked satisfied at that. He gave them a quick rundown of their strategy and the Raven’s players, and then it was time to get back onto the court. Neil couldn’t hold still. He was jumping from one foot to the other, fidgeting with his racquet and breathing heavy already. He felt like his heart was beating in his throat.

Kevin threw a glance over his shoulder at Neil. Neil looked back, and after a couple of seconds nodded at Kevin. Kevin nodded, too, then looked back forwards.

 

They were left onto the court and everyone went to their spots. Neil watched as Dan and Riko shook hands and got in position. Neil grabbed his racquet and took a deep breath. Now it was time to destroy the Ravens and beat Riko where it hurt him the most.

 

The referee’s whistle rang in the beginning of a violent game. There were so many yellow cards in the first thirty minutes, Neil was surprised no one was sent off yet. Nancy went out of her goal twice already, trying to brawl with the Raven striker, but Rita luckily sent her back to goal every time. Even Aaron, who was usually hard to shake out of his arrogant calm, was involved in two fights by the time they went for their break. The game was in Ravens’ favor, but at least not by much.

Fifteen minutes wasn’t anywhere near enough time for them to recover properly. The only ones who had a lot of energy left were Neil and Kevin, which wasn’t exactly uplifting, because it was thanks to how little ball possession the strikers had. Kevin was giving them a proper lecture and argued with Dan about their performance, while Wymack tried to get between them and hold his own motivational speech/rant.

Neil just huffed at them and went for his bag to grab his towel and wipe the sweat off his face. While doing so he noticed his phone flashing up and took it to find two texts from Andrew. The first one was from before the game began, around the time they were running laps or stretching.

 

>>Good luck<< It made Neil's heart jump and lifted Neil's spirits in a second. But what got him even more fired up again was the text he received mere seconds ago:

 

>>You need to do better than that to win against the Ravens<< It wasn't nice and Andrew might as well be telling Neil that fire was hot, but it meant one thing that meant so much to Neil:

 

>>You're watching the game?<<

 

>>Of course I'm watching the game. But I'm still waiting for you to prove me wrong<<

 

Neil felt energised again, but at the same time it was as if something weighed down his stomach and he felt a bit sick.

They were already going for the second half of the game, the defense was exhausted and the Ravens were in the lead, and on court with a completely new set of players after the break. Their chances were looking bleak, to put it mildly.

 

>>What if I can't prove you wrong?<<

Andrew didn't answer for a while and it didn't help with Neil's nerves. When one minute went by without an answer, Neil was back to fidgeting with the hem of his jersey nervously and jumped when his phone vibrated in his hand.

>>Are you already giving up?<<

 

>>Our chances aren't looking good. Our defense line is exhausted, Kevin and I barely get the ball and if we do, even Kevin has difficulties getting past the Ravens’ defense. I don't know if we can do it<<

 

>>This sounds an awful lot like giving up<< Neil didn't know what to say to that, because Andrew was right. It sounded like giving up - because it was, in a sense.

>>You made it till here, where no one would have ever expected the Foxes to be. And it only took you one season. But you didn't do it with that attitude. Where's the Neil who told me to watch the game to see the Foxes win? Where's the Neil that punched Riko in the face? I think your team needs that Neil right now, and not the one who's ready to give up without even trying.<<

 

Andrew was right. Neil's hands tightened around his phone and he clenched his jaw. He couldn't give up, not here, not now. The Foxes needed everyone at their best, they deserved it and Neil wasn't about to be the reason they lost to the Ravens. He typed one last message to Andrew before he stuffed his phone back into his bag and got up from the bench.

 

>>Watch us, we'll prove you wrong<<

 

Wymack was just finishing his speech and looked at Neil when he was approaching. A satisfied grin spread on his face when he saw him.

“See that's what I'm talking about, that look on Neil's face right there. I want you all to be this determined, we can do it! _You_ can do it! You worked so hard for this, don't give up now, even if it's looking a bit bad for us.”

 

“A bit,” Nancy scoffed. She looked exhausted and angry, and Neil couldn't hold it against her. The amounts of shots at goal she stopped today was insane.

 

“We can do it,” Neil said, looking at her first, then the rest of the team, “We've made it this far, we can climb that last step, too.”

The team was quiet for a while, but slowly, one after the other, they seemed to gather their spirits.

When they were back on the field, the Foxes were full of will to win again. The Ravens, on the other hand, seemed to have just one goal: hurting the Foxes. The second half was even more aggressive, and ten minutes into it, Neil managed to get into ball possession for a whole of ten seconds, until his backliner mark tackled him against the court walls so violently, Neil thought he might pass out for a second. Wheezing, Neil scrambled for purchase on the plexiglass, but the Raven player pulled him off and to the ground. The audience was roaring and shouting in outrage, but the player didn't let go off him. That was when Neil realised what they were planning: they wanted to hurt one of the Foxes’ strikers so the Foxes couldn't continue to play, since Kevin and Neil were the only strikers on the roster. Neil was still struggling to breath and the backliner was holding him down with a hand on his chest, so Neil could do nothing but close his eyes and try to block the blow when the Raven reached back for his hit.

 

Suddenly the hand was off his chest and someone grabbed him by the shoulders instead, pulling Neil up into a seated position. Wild whistling and angry shouts were blaring around him, and when Neil opened his eyes he was pressed tightly to Dans chest, as she was yelling at the small group of other people with them. Kevin had ripped the player off Neil and was holding him in a tight grip, the backliner was struggling and the referee was yelling and gesturing wildly and angrily before he pulled a red card from his pocket and sent the backliner off the court.

 

“Neil, are you alright?” Dan asked and patted him down hastily, but Neil grabbed her hands and pulled them off his body.

“I'm fine, Dan, don't worry, it was just unexpected. I'm fine. I can play.”

Dan didn't seem convinced, but she just helped him up and went back to her own position again.

Neil was granted a penalty. He took the ball into the net of his racquet and took the shot. The goal lit up, and the stadium erupted in cheers, drowning out the boos of the Raven fans.

 

After that incident, the Foxes were fired up. They wouldn't let the Ravens get away with unfair play like that, and they were even more determined to crush their whole world. Neil and Kevin were worked down to the bone, Neil couldn't feel his legs and arms anymore, but they were one point from winning or losing. They couldn't afford giving the Ravens an opportunity to score, but they wouldn't make it through penalties either. They had to score, and they had to do it now or they'd lose the game. Neil watched as Allison and Matt were fighting for ball possession and eventually Allison passed the ball to Dan. This was their last chance. For a second Neil let his eyes leave the ball and wander over to Kevin, who returned his stare just two seconds later. They gave each other a determined nod, then turned back to wait for their turn.

It was Neil who caught Dan’s pass and he didn't think for long. He turned on his heel and made big steps, running for goal, avoiding his new backliner mark. They had ten seconds left, and if they missed now, the game was lost. Neil made his last step, then raised his racquet and with the last bit of strength in his arms shot the ball at goal.

 

It missed the goal by a couple of inches and hit the wall instead, bouncing off and back to the field. Neil saw the goalie laugh and relax, dropping his stance.

Neil grinned. Kevin caught the ball in his net and before the goalie even realised what was happening, he shot the ball forcefully, putting all the anger and frustration he felt for the Ravens and Riko into it.

The goal lit up red and one second later the timer blared, calling the end of the game.

 

Neil took his helmet off to look at the scoreboard. It read 6:7 Foxes’ favour and through the adrenaline and exhaustion, Neil could feel excitement bubble up in his chest. He peeled his eyes of the score to look at Kevin instead, and grinned so wide it hurt. They did it. They beat the Ravens. They won Championships. The Foxes did what no one thought they'd be able to do, and Neil just wanted to hug the whole world. Instead he settled for Kevin, so he threw his racquet to the floor and started for Kevin, not even feeling the pain in his legs anymore. He just ran and then lunged at him, getting Kevin off his feet so they toppled to the ground together and ended up in a laughing mess on the floor. Neil's arms were wrapped around Kevin's neck and Kevin had Neil in a tight embrace.

 

“We did it!” Neil shouted, “Kevin we beat them!”

 

“I know,” Kevin answered, his voice shaking and Neil couldn't tell if it was from exhaustion or from tears of joy, “I know. I know!”

Soon enough the others joined them and they ended up in a Foxpile on the floor, cheering and laughing and with Neil and Kevin buried under them.

The referees had to come up to them and tell them it was time to shake hands with the Ravens. Neil didn’t think he’d seen Dan ever grin that wide, especially when she shook Riko’s hand first. Riko had a death glare on his face, that intensified as soon as he reached Kevin. But instead of looking scared, Kevin just smiled at Riko.

“Good game, Riko,” he said, voice dripping with smugness, and Neil snorted. He just grinned at Riko when he shook his hand, and saw him grinding his teeth.

 

Wymack and Abby were waiting for them in the locker room and cheered as soon as they saw the Foxes. Abby hugged each one of them and Wymack told them how proud he was before they headed for the showers.

Neil’s limbs hurt, but the hot water felt good on his tired muscles. He took a bit longer, enjoying the hot spray, but when he came back to the locker room he wasn’t the last. They all met back here to pop a bottle of champagne Allison brought and then drank it from plastic cups.

 

“Guys, guys, listen!” Dan climbed on one of the benches, cup in hand, and still a face-splitting grin on her lips. “I just-....I wanna say how fucking proud I am of us. We deserve this! We worked hard and now we’re here, and you can all thank yourselves for that. We were amazing this year!”

 

She was right. Neil watched them with a happy smile on his lips. He was sitting on a bench in the back, because his legs were tired and sore, cup with champagne dangling from his fingers between his knees. Kevin came to sit down next to him with an exhausted sigh. He leaned back and looked at the ceiling.

 

“We did it,” he said calmly, but Neil didn’t miss the satisfied look on his face.

 

“It wouldn’t kill you to smile, you know,” Neil joked, but it finally made Kevin’s facade crumble and a smile break through.

 

“Neil, we beat the Ravens. We beat Riko.” Kevin turned his head to look at Neil and for the first time since he met Kevin, Neil could see a happy glint in his eyes. It made his chest feel tight in the best of ways, to see his best friend happy at last, and he raised his cup to touch it to Kevin’s.  
“We did. And Dan’s right, we fucking deserved it.”

 

“Hey, sorry to interrupt, but there’s someone who wants to see Neil Josten?” Neil looked to the door and saw a man from security sticking his head in at the door. Figuring it was Stuart, Neil raised his hand quickly and nodded.

“Let him in, it’s alright.”

 

The last person Neil would have expected to walk through that door was Andrew Minyard. And yet, here he was, wearing a bright-orange Foxes jersey, of all things, over his black turtleneck sweater.

Neil stared at him wide-eyed. He barely heard the surprised ‘ _Andrew?!_ ’ coming from Nicky and Aaron. He mouthed his name, voice not working, before he snapped out of his stupor.

 

“Well,” Andrew said, shrugging, ignoring his cousin and brother and looking at Neil instead, “I guess you proved me wrong. You did it, you beat the Ravens.”

 

“Andrew??” The words snapped Neil out of his stupor, and he forgot the pain in his legs and arms. He pushed his cup in the vague direction of Kevin, who, with an indignant sound, just so managed to grab it before it fell to the floor. Neil scrambled to his feet. He didn’t notice the stares of the others, he just forgot they were still there.

Just a minute ago, Neil wouldn’t have thought he’d still be able to stand up, but now he was running across the locker room towards Andrew. There had been so many nights in the past couple months where Neil had wished he was sleeping in Andrew’s arms. So many days, where he just wanted to sit on his desk and share a cigarette with Andrew. The texts, the calls, the pictures - they were nice and Neil loved every single second of it, but they weren’t the same as having Andrew here, as feeling his touch and his breath on his skin. And now, finally, Andrew was here again, to see the game, to see the Foxes win, and to see Neil.

 

Either Andrew learned from seeing Neil jump Kevin on the court and throwing him off his legs or he anticipated this, because when Neil quite literally jumped into Andrew’s arms, he merely stumbled back a couple of steps until his back hit the door. He wrapped one arm around Neil’s waist and grabbed a handful of his ass with the other to keep him up, while Neil wrapped arms and legs around him.

Andrew tasted of soda and cigarettes when Neil kissed him. The more he realised that Andrew was actually here, that this wasn’t just a dream, the faster Neil’s heart started to beat. He was convinced Andrew could hear it, but he didn’t care. Everything that mattered was Andrew’s hands on him and Andrew’s taste on his tongue. One of Andrew’s hands lay flat on his back and slowly found its way up his spine until it grabbed his neck.

Neil broke the kiss so he could breath, but he pressed his forehead to Andrew’s and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Neil breathed.

 

“I told you I’m watching the game,” Andrew replied nonchalantly.

 

“You forgot to mention the unimportant detail about how you’re watching it from _inside the stadium_.”

 

“Oh, well, it happens.”

 

Neil grinned, then laughed and kissed Andrew again.

“You’re even wearing our jersey,” he mumbled into the kiss.

 

“People kept mistaking me for a Ravens fan. So I bought one at one of your merch shops.”

 

“Uhhhhh, quick question,” suddenly Neil remembered they weren’t alone when Aaron’s voice interrupted from behind him, “ _What the fuck_?”

Neil threw a glance over his shoulder and saw all of his teammates, including Wymack and Abby, staring at them in varying degrees of shock and disbelief. Kevin was the only one who looked vaguely annoyed and not at all surprised.

 

“Uhm.” Well, this didn’t go as planned. He had managed to keep this thing he had with Andrew a secret for months, and now that secret was blown in a matter of seconds. He wiggled down, out of Andrew’s arm, and suddenly he was reminded of how tired his legs were when a sharp pain went through both of his thighs as soon as he was back on his feet. He took a sharp breath and Andrew almost immediately curled an arm around his waist. Like that, he could lean against Andrew’s side and let him carry some of his weight.

 

“Uhm?” Nicky prompted, eyebrows raised and expression something between completely disbelieving and delighted.

 

“Do you need it spelled out? They’re fucking.”

 

“Oh my God, Kevin,” Neil felt his cheeks turn bright red and he looked at Kevin with a look that told him to shut up, but Kevin didn’t seem fazed by it.

 

“Wait, so is _Andrew_ your mysterious text-lover?” Realisation hit Matt and his jaw dropped. “Fuck me. Renee actually won that bet.”

Renee just smiled calmly when Neil looked her way. Somehow he wasn’t even surprised she expected this, Renee could read people like an open book.

 

“I can’t believe you never told me you like guys, Neil. And you too, Andrew. I am _hurt_.” To emphasize his words, Nicky pressed one hand to his chest, right over his heart and sighed dramatically. “We could’ve been so gay together,” he added with a quiet, pained voice.

 

“Alright,” Neil almost thanked Wymack when he raised his voice and clapped his hands. “We still have the way back before us. Andrew, you coming with us? Yeah? Alright. Hemmick, you help me push the racquets to the bus. Everyone else grabs their stuff and gets their ass over to the bus, I don’t want to spend more time here, especially not discussing Neil’s sexlife.”

Neil saw that Wymack threw him another glance, then shook his head exasperatedly and turned away. The others started to collect their things reluctantly. Andrew helped Neil get back to his things and let him go when they reached Kevin.

 

“Kevin,” Andrew said in lieu of a greeting.

 

“Last time you watched a Foxes game was when Nicky and Aaron started with the team,” Kevin responded and eyed Andrew sceptically.

 

“Yes.” Andrew just looked at Kevin. He knew exactly what Kevin was implying, but he didn’t respond to that. Or did he? Neil was confused by their staring contest, but suddenly something changed. Kevin smirked and grabbed his bag, then clapped Andrew’s shoulder and went past him to join the others who were already on their way out of the room.

Neil looked at Andrew questioningly, but Andrew just wordlessly grabbed Neil’s bag, threw it over his shoulder and turned.

 

“Come on, idiot, let’s go.”

 

The steps that lead up into the bus were hell. The fact that Neil’s ribs hurt as well didn’t help at all and he was relieved when he could finally fall into the backseat of the bus, where he pressed a hand to his ribs, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. But suddenly his hand was swatted away and something cold was pressed to the spot. Neil gasped and his eyes flew open - and he stared right in Andrew’s face.

 

“Abby gave that to me, for your ribs.” He looked down to Neil’s ribs, where he was pressing a coolpack against his shirt.

“Thanks,” Neil said and shivered.

The bus started to move and Neil could hear the other Foxes making plans on how they’d celebrate their victory. They threw a couple more glances in the back to where Neil and Andrew were sitting, but soon they were too absorbed in their ideas to care. What none of them saw was Andrew’s hand, still pressing the coolpack to Neil’s hurting ribs and Neil’s hand on top of his in a loose grip.

The bus was on the road for only a couple of minutes when Neil reached his limit of staying silent.

 

“You’re back,” he said and looked at Andrew.

  
“Yes,” Andrew replied and returned Neil’s look. Neil couldn’t help but smile and slipped a bit closer to him.

 

“I’m glad.” Carefully, to give Andrew enough time to protest, Neil let his head sink until it hit Andrew’s shoulder. He took a deep breath, inhaling Andrew’s smell and a soft shudder went through him. He felt like he was back at the dorm during their Thanksgiving holidays, in his bed with Andrew and no one to disturb them. Except they were in a bus full with his teammates. At least there were a couple of rows of seats between them.

Andrew turned his head so his nose was buried in Neil’s hair. His hot breath ghosted through the curls, across his scalp and Neil closed his eyes with a quiet, content hum.

“Okay?” Andrew asked quietly as he removed the coolpack from Neil’s ribs, and Neil nodded in response. A second later, Andrew pushed his arm between Neil’s body and the back of the seat, curled it around his waist and pulled him closer. Andrew’s arms felt like home, and Neil happily sank into them.

A kiss was pressed to his head, then another, and Neil sighed. He lifted his chin and his nose dragged along Andrew’s neck until he could touch his lips to the skin. He felt the soft shudder going through Andrew’s body at the featherlight touch of Neil’s lips. Neil pressed a kiss right on Andrew’s pulse point, before he kissed the corner of his jaw, straining his neck as far as he could, and then made a small noise when he couldn’t get further. Luckily Andrew understood, and pressed his lips to Neil’s. This kiss wasn't as passionate as the first one, when Neil jumped into Andrew's arms, surprised and excited about Andrew's visit.

This kiss was slow and deep, and Neil felt like time was stopping. Andrew's hands and lips were gentle. His touch was like a ghost on his back, brushing along his side and his ribs, his shoulder blades and his neck, until his fingertips touched Neil's hairline. Neil wanted to hold onto Andrew, wanted to cling to his arms and his shoulders, but he was so exhausted, he barely managed to lay one hand on Andrew's cheek and stroke a thumb along his cheekbone.

 

“I missed you,” Neil mumbled against Andrew's lips. His head started to feel heavy and dropped back onto Andrew's shoulder.

“It’s nice to be held like this. When you do it,” Neil didn't notice how his words slurred, he didn't even really notice he was rambling, all that he noticed were Andrew's fingers gently tickling his neck, and the rumble in Andrew's chest when he hummed in response to Neil. A second later, Neil drifted off to sleep, face buried in the crook of Andrew's neck.

He only woke up once during the ride, but was still in a sleepy haze. He heard voices, one of them was Andrew's, Neil could feel the vibration of his voice in his chest.

 

“It's none of your fucking business.” Andrew said.

 

“You can't fuck Neil and expect us not to care,” someone else said. It took Neil a while to realise it was Nicky's voice.

 

“Yeah, Nicky's right. Neil is our friend, of course we care!” Dan chimed in.

 

“I can't believe your taste is that bad,” for a second Neil was confused, thinking it was Andrew, but Dan's annoyed:

“Aaron, shut up.” cleared his confusion up.

Neil squirmed a bit and took a deep breath as his mind threatened to clear up and pull him from sleep, and he immediately felt Andrew’s hand back in his neck, squeezing gently and keeping him still and close to Andrew.

 

“Shut the fuck up now and get back to your own seats,” Andrew grumbled with a low voice. The others’ voices were an unintelligible mush after that again. Neil’s hazy, sleepy mind focused in on Andrew’s fingers softly brushing over the skin in his neck and soon drifted off back to sleep.

The next time he was woken up, was when Andrew moved under him, arm tightly wrapped around Neil’s shoulders in an attempt to stop Neil’s sleeping form from falling.

“...’ndrew?” Neil slurred and blinked his tired eyes open. Andrew stopped moving and dropped his arm when Neil sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He realised, as he looked out the window, that the bus wasn’t moving anymore - in fact, the engine wasn’t even turned on - and it was parked in its garage.

 

“We’re back already?” He asked.

 

“Yes,” Andrew said and stood up. He stretched his muscles, and even Neil could hear his joints cracking.

“Didn’t they want to pick up some drinks on the way back?”  
  
“They did, during a break at a gas station.”  


“How on earth did I sleep through you getting up and pulling me back into your arm?”

Andrew threw Neil a weird look when he said that and Neil wondered what it meant, until Andrew said:  
“You didn’t. I stayed on the bus with you and Renee.”

 

_Oh._

 

That explained why Andrew’s joints sounded like they hadn’t been moved in hours - it was because they really hadn’t.

“Come on, everyone else is already off the bus.” Neil grabbed his coat and jumped to his feet  - and immediately regretted it. He forgot how tired his legs had been and now, after a couple of hours of just sitting, his muscles were sore and burning. He almost fell down right after standing up, but managed to grab the back of another seat just in time. Andrew looked at him, eyebrow raised, one arm extended in an effort to catch Neil.

 

“Didn’t expect my legs to be this sore…” Neil admittet.

Andrew snorted quietly, then turned and got off the bus. By the time Neil stepped foot outside, his legs felt slightly better. At least they felt like he could walk without needing something to hold on to.

 

“Good morning, sunshine,” Allison joked when she saw Neil, her perfectly painted lips curved into an amused smile. “We’re going to celebrate our victory in Renee’s, Dan’s and my room. Attendance isn’t optional, but we already told your boyfriend that.”

Neil was ready to protest that he didn’t plan on skipping the party, after all they just won the Championship, but he stumbled over the words ‘your boyfriend’. He whirled his head around to look at Andrew, who looked pointedly unfazed, and then back at Allison, who just looked even more smug now.

  
“We’re not--”

 

“Oh, shut up, Neil. No one wants to hear your excuses. You just spent the whole bus ride sleeping in Andrew’s arms - that’s what boyfriends do, he’s your fucking boyfriend.” Neil clenched his teeth and his heart beat a thousand beats per hour. Why would Allison say these things in front of Andrew? Neil didn’t even know what Andrew thought about this whole thing, they didn’t have the chance to talk yet after all, what if he--

With a hand to the small of Neil’s back, Andrew pushed him towards the BMW parked in front of the Foxhole Court.

“Can we hurry? I watched a full game of Exy, I need a drink.”

Neil stumbled forward as Andrew pushed him further, but his eyes were directed at him with a confused stare. Did that mean what Neil thought what it meant?

 

“Wait, does that mean we’re actually-”

 

“Can you walk or did you break your fucking legs on that damn court?”

 

“Hey, Andrew, don’t ignore-”

 

“Apparently you lost your hearing, too.”

 

“Andrew!”

 

“God, do you want it spelled out?” Andrew stopped in his tracks and so did Neil as soon as he wasn’t pushed forward anymore. They locked eyes, Neil incredulous, Andrew looking annoyed and slightly flustered at the same time. A tense silence settled over them and the whole room for a couple of seconds.

 

“You like me,” Neil said eventually.

 

“I fucking hate you,” Andrew answered.

 

“You like me,” Neil repeated. He started to grin, just a small pull on the corners of his mouth, but with each passing moment it grew. “You actually like me.”

 

“Stop looking at me like that or I will murder you.”

 

“You won’t,” Neil said, cocky and happy. He reached for Andrew’s face and cupped it between his palms.

 

“Try me.” Andrew didn’t even flinch when Neil cradled his face and just stared at him with a daring glare. But Neil wasn’t deterred by his words and his expression. Instead he asked ‘ _Yes or no?_ ’ and as soon as Andrew gave him permission, leaned in and kissed him.

Despite his threats of violence, Andrew took hold of Neil’s hips and pulled him close. This simple kiss felt like so much more now that he knew about Andrew’s feelings.

 

“Aww,” Nicky sighed, and Renee giggled quietly. Suddenly Neil remembered they weren’t alone and broke the kiss. When he looked over to where the others were standing, the first thing he saw was Allison’s smug grin.

 

“I really need that drink now, so can we please get back to your dorm?” Andrew asked impatiently.

 

***

 

Wymack didn’t lie when he said he’d buy them enough alcohol to make them forget their victory. The amount of liquor in the dorm was astonishing, and Neil prayed to God that everyone would survive the night without alcohol poisoning.

Nicky mixed him a fruity Cocktail that Neil didn’t know the name but liked the taste of while Andrew nursed a glass of Whiskey. The music was loud and the quality of their speakers shitty, but no one cared. They were happy, they were tipsy and they just wanted to celebrate.

 

Neil watched his friends with a smile and felt a warm, filling happiness. They deserved this, and Neil was proud to be part of it. Even Kevin was laughing and joking with them. Neil had never seen him this happy before, especially not without being piss-drunk.

 

“What’s with the smile?” Neil turned his head as Andrew came up to him. He had been talking to Aaron and Renee. “Are you drunk already?”  
  
“I haven’t even finished my first drink,” Neil said, raising his half-full glass. “I’m just happy. Because they are happy.” He let his eyes wander across the room again, until they eventually fell back onto Andrew.  
“And because you’re here.”

 

“Shut up.” Andrew drank the last sip from his glass and put it down on the counter to pour himself another one.

 

“Neil! Andrew! Come over here,” Dan called, waving for them from the couch where she was sitting with Matt, Allison, Nicky and Erik. Neil looked at Andrew and reached for his arm.

“Should we?”

Instead of giving a verbal answer, Andrew just headed over, glass in hand and Neil at his arm.

 

The couch turned out to be the most popular spot and soon enough the whole team was assembled on and around it. Renee and Allison sat on the small table, thighs touching. Aaron was leaning on the back of the couch, right behind where Katelyn was sitting between Dan and Rita, and Neil ended up sitting on Andrew’s lap due to lack of space. Not that he minded.

Neil couldn’t remember the last time he had this much fun. Probably never. He laughed until his stomach hurt, talked more than he had the whole last year and drank two of those cocktails Nicky made for him. Before he even realised, it was 3am.

  
“I love you guys, but we gotta go now,” Nicky said as the first one, getting up from where he had draped himself completely over Erik’s lap, and grabbed his boyfriend’s hand.

“You better be dressed when we come into that dorm,” Aaron warned, but Neil didn’t think he’d be lucky. At least Nicky’s grin didn’t look like it.

“Let’s just sleep in my room tonight, Babe,” Katelyn giggled and squeezed his hand, “Hailey is staying at Brandon’s tonight anyway.” Neil didn’t know who either of those people were, but he supposed Katelyn was talking about her roommate.

 

“Oh, by the way, Bro,” Matt nudged Neil’s knee. When Neil saw the wide, drunken grin on Matt’s face he knew he didn’t really want to hear what he was about to say next, but couldn’t do anything about it. “I’m gonna stay with Dan tonight, so, you know, you guys got the dorm to yourselves.”

Of course it was something suggestive like that.

“Alright, Matt, thanks,” Neil said and clapped Matt’s shoulder, dismissing his idea with a polite smile. Matt didn’t seem to notice, because he just kept on grinning, wide and satisfied with his good deed done.

Shortly after Nicky and Erik, Aaron and Katelyn left, too, and a couple minutes later Neil and Andrew decided to go to Neil's room as well. Renee was already nodding off on Allison's shoulder, so they figured it would be best to leave the remaining team members to rest.

 

“Good night,” Neil said. Renee responded with a tired but kind smile, and a soft ' _Sleep well, boys_ ’. Ignoring Matt’s cheery ‘ _Have fun!_ ’ and Allison’s wink, Neil turned to leave the room. He waited for Andrew before he let the door fall shut.

“That was actually a lot more fun than I would’ve thought,” he said as they walked to the dorm together. Andrew hummed in response. He had his hands buried in his jeans’ pockets and lazily followed Neil with his eyes when Neil walked ahead of him to unlock the door.

 

The silence in the dorm was a stark contrast to the one they had just left. The music from the other room was still audible through the walls, the muffled beat quiet but still there, though it would probably die down soon. Neil watched as Andrew threw his backpack in a corner before he turned to close the door.

“How long are you-” Neil didn’t manage to turn back fully before his back hit the wall. The air left his lungs in a short, surprised huff and he struggled against the hands holding him down out of pure reflex, but as soon as he did they let go of him. Andrew was standing right in his face, his nose just one inch from Neil’s, but hands held up at his sides so Neil could see them.

 

“A week,” Andrew answered Neil’s aborted question after a few moments of heavy silence. They stared each other down with looks of badly concealed want. Neil licked his lips, sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and bit down, then nodded slowly.

A week. Neil had another week of Andrew, before he’d have to go back to the Army again.

 

Gently, Neil reached for Andrew’s hands, still in the air beside Andrew’s head. He lay his palms on the back of his hands and guided them to his face, until his cheeks were cupped in his palms. Andrew made another step closer, and their bodies were touching chest to toe. In the same moment he pulled Neil down into a kiss.

It was, as if something fell into place. Back at the dorm, alone with Andrew, his lips on his own, wall in his back and Andrew’s heat at his front. Neil squeezed Andrew’s hands in his and returned the kiss greedily. He didn’t believe in destiny or fate, but he thought this might be exactly where he belonged.

The kiss went on for minutes or hours, Neil didn’t know, before Andrew pulled him off the wall and they stumbled towards the bedroom door. They ran into the sofa, pushed over a chair and stumbled against the closed door. Still, they didn’t even think about breaking the, by now pretty heated, kiss, and so, without seeing what he was doing with his hand, and the door in his back, Neil struggled to find the door handle and push it down.

When he eventually managed to open the door, he was leaning against it and forgot it would fly open immediately - so he lost his balance and toppled over backwards, pulling Andrew with him to the floor. He couldn’t help but laugh as they were lying on the ground, legs tangled and Andrew grunting as he pushed his upper body off Neil.

 

“How the fuck do you not break every single one of your limbs when you play Exy?” Andrew asked.

Neil, still giggling, just pulled him down for another kiss.

“I’m wearing enough protective gear,” he joked a minute later and could see Andrew roll his eyes in the barely lit room. The only light was that from the living room, coming in through the wide-open door they just fell through.

They managed to get off the floor and onto the bed without any further incidents, even though climbing up the stairs to his bunk was a bit of a challenge for Neil with his sore muscles. He fell into the sheets as soon as he got up all steps and barely managed to turn onto his back before Andrew was back on top of him.

When their lips touched again, Neil wondered how he survived the last weeks without Andrew’s kisses. Or how he was supposed to do so again soon.

Andrew grabbed his thigh with one hand and squeezed, and Neil took hold of his shirt at the hem, pulling it up. They had to break apart again so Neil could pull it over his head, and Andrew took advantage of the moment to take off Neil’s shirt, too. Their clothes were carelessly thrown off the side of the bed again and Neil curled his arms around Andrew’s neck to kiss him, but Andrew just let him for a minute before he let go off Neil’s lips and hungrily kissed and nipped along his cheeks and his jaw, down his throat and eventually sucked a dark mark into the dip of his collarbone. Neil gasped and grabbed the hair at the back of Andrew’s head, held onto it, pulled it ever so slightly. He could still feel the spot tingling when Andrew moved on and went on to kiss his way further down Neil’s body. He bit a mark into the skin on his ribs and sucked another hickey between his navel and the waistband of his pants. Neil was squirming, every bite and every hickey sending a wave of arousal through his body and quickening his breath.

Andrew pulled his pants down over his hips, slowly, tantalizing, until he could pull both his sweats and his underwear off Neil’s ankles and throw them off the bed to suffer the same fate as their shirts.

Neil felt like he might go mad when Andrew dragged his lips along Neil’s hip bones, down his loins and then his inner thigh, sucking two more hickeys into the skin there. He had Neil gasping and whining already, and Neil thought he might not be far from begging, too.

 

“Oh, God,” Neil moaned. He scrambled for purchase and grabbed the sheets with one hand and Andrew’s hair with the other as Andrew wrapped his lips around the head of his cock. The tight, wet heat around his cock was unbearable and wonderful at the same time. As Andrew’s mouth slowly slid further down along his shaft, Neil pressed his head back into the pillow and moaned out, loudly. The pain ins his legs was long forgotten, and Neil opened his thighs wide for Andrew. He draped Neil’s legs over his shoulders and curled his arms around his hips, holding Neil down as he blew him skilfully.

If it wasn’t for Andrew’s arms, Neil would be moving his hips in rhythm with the bobs of his head. His brain was already pretty much shut down, his world focused in on Andrew, his touches and his mouth.

 

So when Andrew suddenly just _stopped_ and let Neil’s cock slip out between his lips with a wet, obscene _pop_ , Neil whined so loud and desperately, he thought the others might have heard him.

He blinked his eyes open and saw Andrew pushing himself up again until they were face to face and Neil’s legs loosely wrapped around his hips, feet crossed on the small of Andrew’s back. He could taste himself on Andrew’s tongue when they kissed, and it was weird, but at the same time a bit hot, too. Andrew eventually ended the kiss and kissed along Neil’s cheekbones again, but this time all the way up to his ear until his lips were hovering just a breath wide away from it.

Neil shuddered when Andrew’s breath ghosted across his skin, but it was nothing against the violent shudder that went through his whole body at the words that Andrew whispered into his ear:

 

“Will you let me fuck you tonight?”

 

It took everything in Neil not to come right on the spot. He made a strangled sound and nodded hastily.

“Yes. Yes, God, yes.”

 

They kissed again, passionate and hungry, and Neil wrapped his arms around Andrew’s neck tightly. Unlike that night at Eden’s, when Neil had thought they’d have sex and was nervous about it, now Neil didn’t want anything more than that. He had misses Andrew too much and wanted him too badly to be anything but excited.

“Neil,” Andrew whispered into his mouth, but Neil kissed him again and the rest of his sentence ended in an unintelligible hum as he returned the kiss.

 

“Neil,” he tried again, and this time he pulled back slightly before Neil could involve him in yet another kiss, “You have to let me get up, then. I need to get to my backpack.”

Neil couldn’t comprehend what on earth Andrew wanted with his backpack now, when they were about to- Oh.

Since he didn’t have a choice, Neil unwrapped his arms and legs from Andrew’s body and watched him as he sat back up on his knees. His eyes immediately dropped from Andrew’s face to the prominent bulge in his jeans and he bit his lip to contain his grin.

Andrew, noticing Neil’s look, stared back at him with an unimpressed expression. A couple of strands of blond hair, pulled from Andrew’s bun, now fell into his face and he pushed them away, but it merely helped for one second.

 

“I thought you wanted to go grab your backpack,” Neil said. His breath was still heavy, his voice shaky, but his grin couldn’t be wiped off his facr. Andrew huffed. Without any further comment, he climbed down the steps and left the bedroom.

As soon as he was through the door, Neil combed his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame his curls - even though he knew it was in vain -, then put himself in an attractive position - or so he hoped at least. He turned to his stomach, a thin pillow under his hips and his arms crossed under his other pillow. He got ready just in time. Andrew came back to the room, and Neil heard his backpack hit the floor close to the bed this time. Neil was looking over his shoulder, waiting for Andrew to come back onto the bed, and so he saw him climb the stairs and stop in his tracks when his eyes fell on Neil. His gaze wandered along Neil’s form, starting at his legs, stretched out and parted for Andrew, up his thick thighs to his firm bottom where Andrew’s look lingered a little too long, making Neil squirm a bit when arousal washed over him. He dragged his eyes further, along Neil’s back, his shoulders and eventually his face.

 

“You’re going to be the fucking death of me.”

 

Neil grinned.

 

“Like what you see, then?”

 

Andrew answered with actions instead of words. He climbed the last two steps up, then shuffled onto his knees and between Neil’s legs. He put the small plastic wrapper with a condom inside and the bottle of lube he brought onto the sheets, next to Neil’s hips, then laid his hands on Neil’s back, just above his ass, palms flat on his skin.

Neil’s eyes fluttered shut and a small gasp escaped him when Andrew started to push his hands up, along Neil’s sides, across his ribs and then bent over to place a kiss in his neck. He placed even more kisses along his spine and soon Neil heard the cap of the lube clack. His skin crawled in anticipation and he wet his lips.

Neil remembered this to be quite a nice experience, even though he hadn’t done it in a while. Maybe it would be even better with Andrew, since most of the sexual experiences he had made with Andrew, someone he actually liked, had been ten times intense than the ones he made before.

 

Cold, slick fingers pressed between his ass cheeks and Neil’s hips flinched away for a second before he pressed his ass back into the touch. Andrew rubbed his fingers along Neil’s crack, over his hole, spreading the lube and getting Neil worked up, but not yet pushing inside him, even though the want inside Neil was steadily growing. When Neil started whining, instead of giving in and finally pushing past the ring of muscles, Andrew started to tease Neil even more. Every so often, he would let his finger catch on Neil’s hole, make Neil’s heart skip a beat, but wouldn’t give it that last push it needed to go past the last bit of resistance from Neil’s muscles.

 

“Dreeeew,” Neil whined soon enough when Andrew did it again, and he swore he could hear Andrew chuckle behind him. This went on for so long, Neil thought he might start crying soon. He was so desperate, so achingly hard, his cock oozing precum onto the pillow his lower body was resting on.

And then, finally, met with no resistance at all, Andrew’s finger pushed past that last barrier and into him. Andrew was inside him. The feeling was so overwhelming, Neil’s brain needed a couple of seconds to process it, before a long, loud moan escaped his throat. Andrew, encouraged by Neil’s response, started to move his finger rhythmically. Slowly at first, pulling it all the way out and then pushing back inside to the last knuckle. As time passed, Andrew’s finger fastened up until Neil was a complete mess beneath him. Then he pushed another finger inside Neil.

Neil moaned Andrew’s name as he did and held onto the pillow his head was lying on. This was torture and heaven at the same time. It felt amazing, Andrew’s fingers inside him, fingertips pushing against his inner walls, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t what Neil really wanted, needed.

But before he could say anything, a wave of arousal crashed over him so suddenly, it left Neil breathless and gasping, his ass contracting around Andrew’s fingers as he rubbed his fingertips in small circles around his prostate. The small bundle of nerves, under constant penetration from Andrew’s fingers, sent electricity through Neil’s whole body over and over again. He moaned - Andrew’s name, curses, approval - and his hips stuttered, moving on their own accord, torn between pushing back onto Andrew’s fingers and fucking into the pillow. The pleasure was so intense, Neil could feel himself getting closer and closer to his climax, but his brain wasn’t able to form a coherent sentence to tell Andrew. Desperately, Neil shook his head, gasping Andrew’s name and breathless ‘ _No, no, no_ ’s.

 

Andrew stopped immediately, withdrawing his fingers completely from Neil and the difference was so sudden and drastic, Neil stuttered out a small sob.

“No,” he begged, “No, don’t stop, don’t stop, please. Oh God, Andrew, don’t stop.”

 

“Neil,” Andrew’s voice was close, and only when Neil opened his heavy eyes did he realise he was leaning over his shoulder. He pressed his hands to Neil’s waist, pushing him into the mattress.

“Neil, breathe,” he said. Neil gasped in one breath, then another, and the third one was finally slightly more steady. “Good. That’s it. Now talk to me.”

 

Neil breathed a couple more times before he was actually ready to talk again.

“Don’t stop,” he whined again, voice a bit more steady and a lot quieter now.

 

“Why did you say no, then?” Andrew asked, not convinced.

 

“Cos-.. Cos I was about to come.”

 

Andrew turned completely still at that. Neil could hear their breaths and gave Andrew a few moments to react, before he squirmed.

“I don’t wanna come already. Want you to fuck me. I want to come with you inside me.”

If Neil wasn’t so helplessly aroused, he’d probably be embarrassed by what he said. But as it was, he just wanted Andrew to understand how desperately he needed him. Neil could tell when Andrew snapped back out of his shock. He grunted something unintelligible, then his hands were gone from Neil’s waist and cold air washed over his skin. He heard a zipper being opened, felt the mattress dip as Andrew struggled with his jeans, and eventually - finally - fabric hit the floor.

Neil turned his head to look over his shoulder just in time to see Andrew roll the condom on his hard cock. Immediately, his mouth went dry and his breathing became heavier again. His eyes followed Andrew’s hand. He watched as Andrew picked up the bottle of lube and poured a generous amount into his palm, before tossing the bottle to the side and spreading it on his erection. Their eyes met, and Neil bit his bottom lip in anticipation.

 

Andrew leaned back over him, bracing himself next to Neil’s head with one hand. He pushed his cock between his ass cheeks, and Neil’s breath hitched.

A gentle kiss was pressed into Neil’s neck and goosebumps crawled over his skin.

“Okay?” Andrew’s hot breath ghosted over the wet skin he just kissed. Neil nodded, pushing his hips up and his ass against Andrew’s cock, eliciting a quiet moan from him that felt like a small victory.

Carefully, Andrew pushed against Neil’s hole with the head of his cock, but thanks to his earlier efforts, there was barely any resistance and he slipped in with ease. Neil moaned without a sound; lips parted, eyes hooded and breath caught in his lungs. Andrew pushed further and further, and Neil let him in. The sounds Andrew made, little gasps and moans, made it even better.

When Andrew stopped to take a couple deep breaths, head falling down and pressing his forehead to Neil’s shoulder, buried inside Neil up to the hilt, Neil reached for Andrew’s wrist. He curled his fingers around it and squeezed. He felt so unbelievably _full_. It was a good feeling, though. He felt full and save and content, like nothing in the world was able to harm him in this very moment.

 

“Ready?” Andrew’s voice was pressed and quiet and Neil wondered how much self-control it took from him to stay still like this.

 

“Yes,” he breathed in response - so Andrew started to move. He started off slow again, barely moving two inches back and forth, but with each thrust he went further. Soon enough Neil was moaning loudly beneath Andrew, holding onto his wrist and the sheet under him for dear life as Andrew thrust into him. Andrew was moaning, too. One hand on Neil’s hip, holding onto him, he pushed into Neil, giving them both the pleasure they were seeking. Neil’s own cock was trapped between the pillow and his stomach, but each thrust pushed it into the cotton, giving Neil both the pleasure from being fucked by Andrew and his cock rubbing against the fabric. His breath was going fast and heavy between moans of Andrew’s name or approvals, and Neil knew he wouldn’t take long to come anymore. He could already feel the familiar sensation building at the base of his spine, and the closer he got, the tighter he held onto Andrews wrist, until he was sure he must be cutting off circulation but couldn’t bring himself to let go.

 

“Andrew,” he moaned, “I- _Fuck_ I’m- Coming--” His voice was breaking off as climax washed over him, taking his breath and his words away. The only thing he could do was moan, long and loud. Neil felt his ass clench around Andrew’s cock and, through the haze of orgasm, heard Andrew choke on his breath. His hips stuttered, then pushed inside Neil again, deep and hard, wringing one last, worn out moan from Neil, and then stilled. Neil realised Andrew must be coming, too. His forehead was pressed between Neil’s shoulder blades and he was breathing hard and loud and broken.

 

When Neil came down from his high, his whole body relaxed and he slumped beneath Andrew. His breath was shaky, but he gulped in big breaths of air and finally relaxed his fingers around Andrew’s wrist.

Andrew’s arm gave up, but he could catch himself on his forearm instead of just falling onto Neil and crushing him beneath his body. He was breathing into his neck and eventually placed a kiss there, that had Neil, overwhelmed and oversensitive, shudder violently.

 

They did manage to catch their breaths and clean up after all. Once they weren’t sticky from lube and cum anymore and dressed in their pajamas, they were lying beneath the blanket, their legs tangled, Neil curled into Andrew’s chest and Andrew’s arms wrapped around him.

Neil thought this might be the most comfortable he had ever been in his life.

  
“Drew?” Neil slurred, sleep already heavy on his body and fogging his mind.

 

“Mh?” Andrew sounded just as sleepy.

 

There was a short pause in which Neil collected the words he wanted to say and arranged them into a coherent sentence. Then he smiled softly and pressed his face to Andrew’s chest.

 

“Thank you for being here. Sleep tight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to visit me on [my tumblr](http://fox-sleeping-minyard.tumblr.com/) and chat with me! ♥


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